Should I wait?

[Naya2279]

Hi all...I've made several posts on here about my situation. The guy I was dating for 2 years went to see his ex-girlfriend over Thanksgiving without telling me. He told me that he was wanting to settle down and just wanted to make sure there were no feelings left for her and what not's.

 

Well, when he came back he was confused and he didn't know what to do. I told him that I wasn't gonna wait around for him to make up his mind. He wasn't gonna have his cake and eat it, too. After a few weeks of NC he called and said that he doesn't wanna be with her and he thinks he had a big case of the stupids and stuff.

 

He told me that she had gotten a ticket to come down to visit and it's non-refundable and that although he doesn't want her to visit she's still coming. I didn't ask when because I didn't wanna know, but I found out it's this week. She's in town now.

 

See, I saw him on Christmas and stuff and he told me that the week will go by fast and just to think of it as a friend is visiting for a week and that next week she will be gone and so on. He told me not to worry about it. How can I not worry?

 

Am I being stupid? Is he just trying to play games with my head? He's still calling me every day, but he's being so short with me that I know this is the week that she's there.

 

I was doing pretty good until he called last week and told me he made a mistake. Now I'm back to where I was in the beginning. I love him, and I know that if it's meant to be things will work out, but this week is just going to be crazy until I know what's going on.

 

Am I stupid for worrying so much? Should I just start the NC again and move on? I just don't can't stop thinking about him and her...

[Naya2279]

Well, he just called and I picked up today. He told me that I was being a baby and that I need to stop worrying. He must be up to something bad. I don't know why I care. I just need to get the strength to get over him.

 

He told me that if I went up there and acted pyscho that I would just end up looking stupid. No, I would end up making him look stupid. He said I'd lose him forever if I did that. I most likely will lose him forever anyways.

 

She doesn't know I exist. I mean she knows we were friends, but she doesn't know that we had a two year relationship and that he dumped me to go see her. I just sort of want to make myself known...I guess that's the hardest part.

 

I talk to his sister all the time and she said that if she ever sees them that she will ask where I am. I just want to get this week over with. He told me that she leaves on Saturday. That's too many days away. I'm not gonna get through this week.

 

I just wanna forget he even existed sometimes. I just wanna be able to move on and know that I am doing the right thing...I want him to miss me the way that I miss him I guess. I can see that that's not gonna happen...

[PrincessLinzay]

Well, he just called and I picked up today. He told me that I was being a baby and that I need to stop worrying.

 

What??? You're being a baby??? I would have hung up on him. Wow, he's got some nerve. He broke up with you to go visit this girl and make sure that he didn't still have feelings for her, and then begs for you back, and has her come and visit? Oh please.

 

How about, you break your shoe off in his.......um......yeah.

 

I would just start ignoring his phone calls. This is beyond messed up. He hasn't told this girl that he has a girlfriend, she's visiting for the week, and he thinks you should just except that and be okay with it? I think he's got some issues.

 

I would go back to NC. Hang in there girl.

[Naya2279]

Thank you...that's exactly what I needed to hear. I know next week he'll be all calling wanting to see me and stuff and I just gotta ignore him. I've done so well at doing that until last week. I guess the whole Christmas thing got me down.

 

I know what I gotta do...it's just actually doing it. I know he's not good for me, but I don't know why I just can't stop thinking about him.

 

Thanks for the advice

[PrincessLinzay]

Sometimes it's really hard (especially when involved with someone manipulative) to do what you know is the best thing. Trust me, Ive been with those guys before. They mess up, and then find some way to turn it around on you and make it seem as though it's your fault.

 

NC is hard, hard hard. But it works and it helps in more way than one. Just stick it out and see what happens in future.

[Softmoonlight]

darling, the only reason you're insane is for letting him treat you this way! Tell him to bugger off and you're through with him! He is obviously doin something if he hasn't told this other girl you exist. If he really loved you, he would have told the other girl about you, and that he can't have her over because of that.

 

resume no contact and realize you are lucky to be rid of the jerk!

Here's a hug!

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!!!!

[keefy1972]

From a guy's point of view, I have to tell you that even though you told him he couldn't have his cake and eat it too, he is doing exactly that. I know it sucks to be in that situation as I am in the exact same one. I think that the best cure for this situation is N/C. Ignore his calls and don't return them. At least long enough until you feel like you are in control of the situation. He is a pig for doing this...during this time of the year especially, and does not deserve to feel like it is ok. It is not Ok, nor is it something that you should deem acceptable. He needs to learn that you are not someone to be taken for granted and feel the threat that he is losing you forever. Kind of like a kick in his egotistical bizzall bag. Be strong!

[Naya2279]

You guys are soo right. Thanks for all the posts. Back to the NC. I can do this. I've done it before for a few weeks and they were great weeks. He knows that he can have be back next week and I'm just not gonna let him. I know that I'm stronger than this. I just get so weak when it comes to him.

 

Thanks again!

[Hope75]

oooooooooh Naya,

 

I am soooo sorry for this clown behaving this way with you!

 

Yes, Girl, you DEFINITELY deserve better than that!

 

He is a Grade A creep for putting you in this situation and then calling you a baby for being upset about it.

 

He does not need to see this girl to figure out if he wants to be with you. Plain and simple he wanted to see her and now he is and for that, boot his slimey little a** to the curb, wipe off your shoe, and move on!

 

You are way better than that!