Life over at 16.

[Peter_L]

Hi all. I'm new to eNotalone.Com and um..I can't sleep (in fact I can never sleep) so I was lookin' through the web and found this delightful sight of supportive people.

Well first off my name is Peter. And I have a problem much like all of you. Before I say anything I would like to point out that I've seen other posts first and replied to some that I've had experience in. There are people here far worse than me, but we all have our own problems. But secondly, I would just get to the main problem as my entire life was wrecked since I was born.

Mine most definitely began when my first and (not hopefully) my only girlfriend broke up with me. She and I had been together for almost 4 months. But the last month she was in Ohio working. And believe me I tottaly missed her. She decided to stay there because it was more peaceful and quieter than New York. She decided to end things there and I was just devastated right here.

Probably my biggest downfall was that I was totally and completely faithful with her and I spend every waking day thinking about her. I must've done everything and did anything in the name of her.

We was pretty close, at least that's what I thought. We spent way too much time together (not enough if you ask me) and you couldn't blame me for being lovestruck as she was my first girlfriend.

Since she was my first and only girlfriend I had absolutely no experience in relationships. And believe me I messed up a lot and did some pretty retared things. Probably my lack of experience helped drove her away.

But I was always there for here. I listened and talked. We went out and stayed in. She and I felt were so different yet we were whole. I was always honest and loyal. I never lied to her and did nothing intenionally to hurt her.

And she still left me ! I dont't know what I did wrong because I know somewhere along the line she broke up not because she wanted to move to Ohio. I feel like it has to be me!

The difference between her and me was that she had about 4 boyfriends before me. And she has some experience in handling relaitonships. I did not unfortunately. I was decimated when she left. Toally DESTROYED. My life was built around her even since I met her.

Now I don't go to shool. I've failed ALL classes and will be repeating the 10th grade. I don't step outside the house anymore and I have almost stopped talking to everyone. I am trying to make visits to therapists as I have depression now for almost a year just because of her.

I hope to seek salvation and receive advice from people. I really am lost. I wake up, hit the computer, and sleep. I almost don't eat. I've stopped playing guitar and working out, and I can't even get a decent night's sleep. I really miss her and I'm convinced I'm heartbroken and lonely because of her.

WHY CAN'T I LET GO!? Am I an idiot? Or am I weak? C'mon, she'e my first girlfriend! Why can't I forget her and dwell in the fact that there's plenty other better girls out there? Please help, give advice, criticize.

 

 

P.S.

Can someone tell me what's my GMT? I know what it means but I don't know mine because I live in America and we do thing's ridiculously different here. I'm in Eastern time. What GMT is that?

[cs20thcenturyfox]

Hello Peter_L,

 

First of all, I have no idea what your GMT is.....so can't help ya there buddy. Second, what your going through is all normal. Heartbreaks really suck, and I should know. The thing that helped me was knowing that there indeed is others out there. By others I mean, other fish in the sea type of stuff. How old are you 16? Your still so young sweetie, I know you prolly heard that so many times but it so true.

 

All you have left now is to make a bad thing good. Go back to your gym, try to get some sleep, try to eat. Also what helped me, change something about you, wheather it be your hair, style of clothes, music...........get on the road to moving on and don't look for another gf for now. Work on you! You seem like a really smart kid and you really do got your whole life ahead of you. So good luck ok? Laters 8) .

[Rain]

Peter, the first thing you have to do is do eat something. Without food you'd decrease in efficiency. I know the feeling you're have, the feeling like it "doesn't matter". What you have to do is to realize the potential you have in life. You have to "let go." I know it's hard to do, but it's fate. The little spark of despiration for an alternative is there and is driving you insane. But you can change your own fate.

 

Get up, eat, workout, talk to people, improve yourself everyday

 

BECAUSE THATS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT

 

If you seize to improve yourself, them you seize to exsist. You have potential, at least you had a girlfriend you liked you in life, look at it that way. Compare youselves to the millions of others who haven't had such luxury, and you'll realize you're better than they are. But don't compare yourself to those who have problems in life, because ironically, you'll gain one as well.

 

As a resolution, my recommendation is to write your feelings on a blank notepad when going online on the computer. Catalogue them everyday.

 

In one month, open them up and read them all. Compare yourself to the person you were, to the person you are in one month. Ask yourself if that's who you want to be, and if you want to improve yourself from that point in time.

 

Welcome to life.

[Peter_L]

Thanks Rain, Fox. I'll try and take that advice. I've had people who try to help and talk to me all my life. I'd like to get up and do something about my unfortunate position in life right now.

 

P.S.

Still don't know what's my GMT. I'm in Eastern Time, what GMT is that?!

[Peter_L]

I feel as if I'm all talk and no walk. Like all bark but no bite. I keep saying it's great advice and sure I'll take it! But it's all bull!

What I need is motivation! How can I get motivation and the will to change my dying ways if my motivation left me and is in Ohio?

Friends and family aren't enough. Personal success is not enough. Welfare or myself and others aren't enough. I feel as if Love is the only motivation that can change me but I'm heartbroken and depressed.

Any suggestions to as what I should do to get myself to pick myself up?

[Rain]

First off, my advice is not bull.

 

Now as regarding your motivation. Fact is that you cannot surround yourself from the only source of motivation that you think exists. Theres is tons of other oppertunities around that you need to go and explore.

 

Now, I'm not suggesting 100% to let it go, but I am suggesting change. Look, you cannot live your live day-in and day-out with the burden of self-derespect just because you think it suites your lifestyle. As confusing at it sounds, it's conclusion can be based on the fact that you simply want to finish what you've started out with.

 

You've started writing the book and now you want her to finish it.

Fact it that the book needs some self-commitment, motivation and self-confidence, all personal traits that you must gain in order to exceed the publisher.

 

Love will not solve all your problems. At times, it only begins them.

 

Think outside the looking glass and express all the oppertunities that you could have. If you still cannot decide if you're fit for that, take decisive action. Communicate with her, call her up and start a friendly conversation. If she rejects you without you even making a move, then unfortunately I must say that you must move on. I know it's difficult to say, but if she doesn't love you, whats the point of a lose cause?

 

Sorry man, really am. It hurts, I know. It's your choice to make a difference in your life. Gain motivation from YOURSELF, not others. Because many others work from the motivation from themselves, and succeed. Don't be weak, you're 16 and have the whole world ahead of you. If you want to face the world with the security and self-commitment that it expects of you, act now.

 

Don't wollow in self pity, it's only half of you talking. That's not all of that makes up of yourself. I guarentee it.

[Peter_L]

Yes Rain, it's all true and highly helpful of what you have said. But none of it gets through to me. It invokes some thought and deep-thinking but it doesn't get me to act on it and move. Why is that? Why doesn't it sink into me and kick me in the ass?

[Rain]

Because you don't want it to.

 

It may not seem true, but overall people's subconscience is their own creation. It may not be the highlighted voice overall, but fact is that's it's there. It's a background noise sent to give us a sense of a possible outcome or circumstance.

 

If you want motivation to change your life, you have the ability to change that. Not god, me, or even your closest friends can help this. It's only you that can change this. You decide what's best for yourself. You decide what path you want to walk, and which you want to avoid. You decide what life should mean to you. If you truly believe in yourself and her, you'll find your own motivation, since nobody else is influencing you on your own part.

 

This is your life. Enjoy it while it lasts.

[Peter_L]

That's all relative and all...but it's still not sinking in. I know it has to be me who makes the first move and not anyone else. In order for me to be happy I need to decide what I should do. Problem is I don't know what to do. I have no plans or decisions for anything. I don't even know what I'll do 10 minutes from now or even what I want to be when I grow up.

[Rain]

Then make your decisions yourself. You keep saying that you can't find the motivation or the determination to keep an active lifestyle. If you truly do want change in your life, and for the better, you should start thinking of new possibilities that would benefit your future self.

 

Acting lazy wont get you anywhere, believe me. I've seen alot of people who have failed at life because they were not getting the motivation that strives them in life. I used to be similiar like that, until I realized that no other source would benefit that 'determination' other than my own self.

 

Personally, I don't want you ending up like my uncle, who is out of a job and is poor on money. Why? Because he wasn't motivated, wasn't influenced, and wasn't planned out in his life.

 

If you truly want change, you'll find the motivation yourself, and you'll find the act of planning out a life yourself. It's hard, but it is possible. Go outside and spend sometime with other people. And over a duration of time, build a relationship with friends. It's not easy, but it can be done. It's the act of choosing the right group, one that will highlight your existence. One that will boast your self-confidence.

 

If none of this is sinking in, it's because you don't want it too. You keep talking about that it cannot suite your own lifestyle. Fact is, that it can. But you simply don't want it to. On the outside, you want enhancement, but on the inside...well that's a whole new story...

 

You should at least try and be someone better in life, this starts with a plan. It doens't matter how bad or good you are at making plans, "Just Do It!" You should also try to build some self-confidence. Build some motivation. At least build SOMETHING. Something that will at least make yourself a better person.

 

Don't end up like my uncle.

 

After all, is that not what you want?

[Peter_L]

Errr...you're rite. I don't want to end up like a failure. Besides I think I am now. And I guess it's not too late to change.

[KM]

Peter_L, the "holding on to her" and "not letting go" is normal, at least I think it is...

 

Me, I've never had a girlfriend, but, I've had a crush on the same girl for over four years, and I can't get over her.

 

But, time heals all wounds. It was wrong of her to just leave you though, she's the one at fault, not you.

 

She doesn't realize what a great guy you are and what she's walking away from. She'll never find someone who cares as much as you do, and maybe someday she'll realize that, maybe she'll even cry...

[Peter_L]

I guess. I think it's normal to not let go. Thanks for replying and giving me some advice. Maybe I'll start to turn my lifestyle around now. But slowly...

Anyway I have a different topic named "Clean Slate?" in here somewhere. I think it's in a lifestyle change or something. I've decided to move to Boston and start a new life on a clean slate. Can anyone give their opinion on that?