Should I let it go?

[oitnb]

Nothing to serious, but it's bugging me a bit and I want to know your guys' opinions on wether this is worth talking about or not a big deal.

 

My boyfriend came over after work last night. It was late, like 12 am. He was pretty tired after working all day.

 

Without giving tmi, we're cuddling and um well he grabbed my hand and put it down there lol. He was obviously "in the mood" so to speak...

 

He then says, with my hand still around his erect member, "I don't think I wanna F tonight, I mean my D wants to but I'm just so tired." I laugh and say "your D always wants to" and roll over, grabbing him to spoon and go to sleep. He then starts trying to initiate sex. I told him a couple times, it's fine, your tired, you don't have to have sex. Seriously. I'm not mad or upset ect.

 

We have a healthy sex life so one night without going at it isn't a big deal to me. He was tired. I think he thought I was hurt or offended? But I said everything I could to get him to understand it was NBD. anyways he kept trying to have sex and I WAS in the mood, so I gave in and we did.

 

After wards in felt bad though. Like he only did it cause HE felt bad about not wanting to. I do not want him thinking he always has to have sex or Initiate it, I mean were still kinda in the honey moon phase so we have sex ALOT. we're very open and sexually compatible. But last night was so... Off. I felt really weird after we were done, like it was a pity f*** or something.

 

Fluke incident or worth discussing?

[petite]

This happens in every relationship. It shouldn't be given a second thought because people do have sex with their partner sometimes even if they aren't in the mood necessarily or are too tired. As long as it isn't forced it shouldn't really be made into a big deal.

You can tell him that in the future you'd rather not do it if he isn't feeling it because you'd be more comfortable with that option, but seriously I wouldn't really even worry about it. I don't think it's a big deal at all.

 

 

 

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[mhowe]

Not worth discussing.

 

Next time --- if you know his HEAD is tired but his other head is ready --- tell him you will take a rain check, pat him on his little head, and go to sleep.

[oitnb]

Not worth discussing.

 

Next time --- if you know his HEAD is tired but his other head is ready --- tell him you will take a rain check, pat him on his little head, and go to sleep.

 

Your replies always make me giggle

 

Thank you guys. I was just weird to me. But I suppose it's not a big deal.

[BigKK]

I reckon it's a nonissue, plus it's not like "poor guy he was tired and had sex with his girlfriend woe is him, awww life is soooo tough"

 

I do understand your point and am a believer of open communication so I'd bring it up in a very light manner a few days later like "hey I am not sure if you were having sex with me just because I wanted it, but just know that you don't have to"

 

 

Might end good or bad, but I personally would agree with you...I don't want a pity although sometimes the other partner will be much more in the mood than the other...and can put their partner in the mood. Or the none turned on partner, slowly gets going, then gets into it.

 

So perhaps NOT worth discussing, but in my own relationship I discussed something similar and it was kind of relieving knowing we can comfortably talk about sex.

[oitnb]

Yeah if it's still on my mind I might bring it up.

[TattyK]

I think he was just trying to get you to jerk him off, or service him in a way that doesn't involve sex. When you rolled over and wanted to cuddle instead, that was basically like telling him No, so as a healthy man he did the next logical thing which was to muster up the energy to make a proper go of it.

He was just being lazy, I wouldn't worry about it. He's fine, he got some, he's happy.

My husband does that all the time, after a long day at work he's sometimes too tired to really put the effort in. Most of the times I oblige him, the rest of the time he either does what your guy did which is muster up the energy, or he'll just give up and go to sleep. I guess it depends on how really tired he *actually* is.

[oitnb]

I think he was just trying to get you to jerk him off, or service him in a way that doesn't involve sex. When you rolled over and wanted to cuddle instead, that was basically like telling him No, so as a healthy man he did the next logical thing which was to muster up the energy to make a proper go of it.

He was just being lazy, I wouldn't worry about it. He's fine, he got some, he's happy.

My husband does that all the time, after a long day at work he's sometimes too tired to really put the effort in. Most of the times I oblige him, the rest of the time he either does what your guy did which is muster up the energy, or he'll just give up and go to sleep. I guess it depends on how really tired he *actually* is.

 

Haha I didn't think of that as option. That might've been it! I was confused. The whole putting my hand down there but then saying he's to tired for sex? 'Doh! I should've put two and two together lmao

[TattyK]

Yup I really think its that simple, he was just trying to get an ol' fashioned.

[4everinfinate]

He was asking in a polite manner so go down on him or you do all the work. Thats exactly the same way my BF gives the hint. Says hes tired but his other isnt. Meaning do somethingwith this please i have no energy.

[mhowe]

Wow. How thoughty of him..."service me".

[PaintWithLight]

Wow. How thoughty of him..."service me".

 

Or maybe your polite refusal of him actually got him going. If he really was too tired, he would not have done the deed.