I'm tired of my boyfriend's friends

[Lovelavie]

My boyfriend and I get along very well and we are very much alike. We enjoy the same things, going out to the same places, I consider him my best friend. Since both of us like going out a lot, on weekends we usually go out to drink or going over to someone's house. One week or another we go to clubs or trips. The thing is, all of the stuff we do, his friends come along. All of our friends are in a relationship and he has 2 friends who are always calling him up, asking him what he's up to and what we're doing today (let's say it's Friday). They usually decide what we're gonna do and some times I'm not in the mood to do something they want particularly, but I just go with it to please my boyfriend because I know he enjoys his friends' company.

 

During this time, I became very close to his friends and their GFs, so I kinda consider them my friends now after all these months, but I don't even see my own friends as much as I see them and I'm getting really tired or always having to hang out with them. I have also realized that a lot of bad mouthing going on behind everyone's back and when we get together everyone pretends everything's fine even though a lot of problems have happened between all of us. Also, there's this one friend of his in particular that butts in everything my boyfriend and I do, he wants to know about our intimacy and he's always trying to give his opinion when my Bf and I argue. Also, when he calls us to do something and my BF turns him down because he just feels like staying with me at home, this friend will start insisting and insinuating I'm the one who isn't letting my BF go out when it's so not true! I never ever did this to my BF, much on the contrary... Anyway, it's starting to annoy me, it's like we're not "allowed" to do anything just the two of us because they always come along, even when it's our anniversary this friend wanted to come. He thinks it's because we don't like him which isn't true, he's just not gonna get invited to our anniversary dinner, duh!

 

I like his friends, I'm just tired of spending so much time around them. This weekend we went to a friends' beach house and they were all there and we spent the whole weekend together and even though we have fun and all, it's like I'm seeing them just as much as I see my Bf

[mhowe]

Then learn to say "no thanks --- we have other plans",.

 

And --- make plans with your friends --- and take a break from being with your bf all the time. If your gf's are coupled up, double date with them.

 

And go out as a couple --- not a group.

[SooSad33]

"They usually decide what we're gonna do and some times I'm not in the mood to do something they want particularly, but I just go with it to please my boyfriend because I know he enjoys his friends' company.

-YOU are being very tolerant of your bf's friends, but you do NOT need to ALWAYS be hanging with them.

You two NEED some alone time for work on your relationship.

 

"I don't even see my own friends as much as I see them and I'm getting really tired or always having to hang out with them"

- You don't always have to hang with his friends. What's stopping you from hanging with your own?.. on your own?

Since he hangs out with his buddies, then you have all rights to go out with yours. That is highly suggested with anyone who is involved. Keep your social life going.

 

"I have also realized that a lot of bad mouthing going on behind everyone's back and when we get together everyone pretends everything's fine even though a lot of problems have happened between all of us."

-This shows you're all hanging out a bit too much and some need to grow up. Learn to back off and respect each other.

 

 

"there's this one friend of his in particular that butts in everything my boyfriend and I do, he wants to know about our intimacy and he's always trying to give his opinion when my Bf and I argue."

- Immature, his nose doesn't belong in your business!

 

" when he calls us to do something and my BF turns him down because he just feels like staying with me at home, this friend will start insisting and insinuating I'm the one who isn't letting my BF go out when it's so not true! "

- Then ask the bf to start speaking up and admitting it is HIM who is choosing to agree on staying in with you.

 

Time to communicate and get your bf to understand you two DO need your own 'alone time'. Be honest with him, cause if i was in this spot, i'd surely be speaking up soon! Things need to change.. or else.

[Snny]

I agree with the above posters. It's time that your boyfriend lays down some boundaries with his friends. This whole issue is all about lack of boundaries and reinforcing them when certain nosey friends give you crap about it.