Young, working and seeing a fit girl...

[Doctor Smurf]

Ok, well, here I go. I work at a swimming pool gym sorta place once a wekk to earn a bit of cash. I have to deal with a lot of customers, and I see this girl who comes in with ehr parents. I know thta she's 15, and im 14. She goes to one of my colleagues schools, so I spoke to him about her, but he didn't know anything. Im single but I know very little about her. I know that shes a fitness freak (like me ). She never speaks to me hardly at all, so do you think that she's just shy, or avoiding guys because she has a BF? I would really like to sorta say

 

'Hi whats your name? Would you like to come for a drink with me some time?'

 

Or is that a bad chat because we're both too young too drink achohol? And is it unethical to ask a girl fromw work?

 

My first post here, so thanks in advance everybody...

Dan 8) 0X

[Beec]

I think you'd be better off trying to jsut talk to her at first, without trying to ask her out right away. If you were likely to only see her once in your life and wanted to ask her otu, then you need to jsut go for it. If you are likely to see her soo, you should try to talk with her.

 

Begin with a simple "Hi" and a smile when you see her. Watch how she reacts. Build up to real conversation.

 

If you can find out about some things that interest her ask about them.

 

I would not ask her to go for a drink, unless you know she drinks. As her to do something else. Do somethign fitness orientated.

[Doctor Smurf]

Ok. Well thing is im the attendant - I have to say hi to people!!! So when I do it they don't think its at all special!! What exactly do yuo mean by:

 

Do somethign fitness orientated.

 

thanks for your reply man... Im getting the idea!!

Dan

[Beec]

Well, there are basically two types of "first" dates one should consider asking someone to go on. The fun, activity date and the talking date.

 

The talking date is asking someone for a drink, a cup of coffee, to dinner, lunch, etc. The whole idea of the date is on the two of you talking. I'm in my thirties, and almost all of my first dates are these kind of dates.

 

The activity date is doing something like going to play golf, tennis, running, biking, bowling, etc. Some talking is involved, but a lot of the time you can talk about what you are doing. An activity you are good at and she is not is good or one you are at an equal level at is good. I played ice hockey for many years, and ice skating has worked for me a few times. Something with a little risk is good. Danger releases the same chemical in our brains that sexual attraction releases.

 

I don't like going to the movies on a first date, because you cannot talk or learn anything about the person. The same thing with a show or a concert or something like that. You end up sitting and watching the show, with your date next to you, but there is not real bonding going on. At your age, a date like this is more acceptable, but if you do it, build in time for talking. A movie followed by dinner of coffee or something is not a terrible idea.

 

Learn her name, say hello to her by name and ask her how she is doing. Start a few words of conversation and try to build on it.

[sisterlynch]

To get to know someone when you are shy is a stumbling block...mostlikely she wants to talk to you too, she just needs to have some topic to tell you about...What she does in her spare time, why she chose this gym--slip in does she have any special guy in her life or who she likes...etc. That might be a good thing to say.

 

Ask her how she likes her school...the guy who knows her maybe can find out about her for you. When we were young, one guy who is more outgoing will talk for the other guy and say...I know someone who likes you, etc. Do they still do that?

[Doctor Smurf]

Wow, you two are coming up with some good ideas! I'm loving this site!!! I geuss I will have to try to find out about her, and then talk to her and see what happens. I should see her again on Wednesday. Oh, when you said

 

Learn her name, say hello to her by name

 

do you mean just ask her, or use a more devious (lol) method like asking the guy who knows her? yes SisterLynch, we do still do a lot of talking for each other... but mainly with texts...

 

And I really like the 2 forms of dating. I can really find uses for them!!

Dan