Gaynor Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I broke up with my ex about three months ago.because of his behaviour,at the time I thought I was right to end it.but a month ago he got back in touch and we started texting and he kept wanting to meet up,so we did.i realised I loved him still and I felt he was the same.but a week later he cooled towards me.my mother actually texted him asking if we were back together and he got mad and blamed me.so I asked him outright what's going on a few days later,told him I love and miss him.he said he just wants to be on his own as his heads too full of stuff but we can still talk and be civil.i said no past is past,I was hurting.but I really want to be back with him and I don't know what else to do now.i don't understand why he seemed to change so fast either.any advice? Link to comment
3Tears Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 You don't do anything, simple, you already told him what you want. Let him decide now. Link to comment
Gaynor Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 Do you think he has already decided from what he said?i just feel so confused at him giving me the impression he wanted me back..and a week later he's gone like this? Link to comment
panther Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 You can't do anything. Maybe he will change his mind on his own. Anyway if you broke up, it was for a reason. I don't know the story behind, but what makes you think his behaviour has or will change if you get back together? Link to comment
Gaynor Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 And I feel like iv closed the door by saying I won't talk to him again. I just felt hurt and confused. Link to comment
autumnsun Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 There is no good in you trying to decipher what he is or is not thinking. As 3Tears said... you've told him your piece, now let him make his own decision. Try to get on with your healing and move forward towards a stronger, healthier you. Link to comment
Gaynor Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 He damaged my door in temper one night when I wouldn't answer texts.i was asleep. He said he was just worried about me.he also flung a can accross the room the night before.i didn't know how to respond to that behaviour.there seemed no reason or explanation.it was out of character for him.but at the time I felt it best to walk away.but I do miss him and I think we could have worked things out.i never stopped thinking of him while we've been apart.i know I sound stupid.but I just can't help my feelings. Link to comment
panther Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 So now your story sounded familiar to me and I went to read your previous thread. As everyone else said, you should stay away from this guy, for good. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 My ex boyfriend kicked my doors when I didn't respond to texts after a night out.i was asleep and he came in the house tried to fix the door and left before I woke.he also threw a can at the wall when he said I spilt drink on him,accidentally I did.and another night after a I wouldn't let him in I woke to find my car tyre flat. ^ As quoted from a previous thread. Is this what you want to have another go at? Link to comment
abitbroken Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 From your past threads, this guy is volatile and abusive. You need to be FAR AWAY FROM HIM and mom should not be contacting him either. If mom wants you two together, she has her head in the sand. You need to start by blocking all communication. You may say you "love" him, but love yourself more. Otherwise you will end up in worse shape. He has done a number on you emotionally or you wouldn't be even questioning getting him far away - walk away before you end up six feet under. Seriously. YOu say "He has never done this before!" well he is now showing you his true nature. That is who he is. The honeymoon is over. Does anyone go to court to defend a murderer, a child abuser, a spouse beater or a car jacker and say "oh, but they never did that before. its their first time. It must be out of character." Would that be a good defense?? I rest my case. Link to comment
Gaynor Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 I know you are all right.deep down I know.i just hope I feel better in time.its like I can't connect the person who lost his rag like that to how he usually is.i should have trusted my instincts last time and just stayed away.i will try and stay strong.your advice really helps.i appreciate it.just need to take heed! Link to comment
Gaynor Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 I know,deep down I do. It's just hard connecting his usual self to the one with the temper if you know what I mean.i just wish I had stayed away the first time and maybe wouldn't feel so bad.i will try to heed your advice,which I do appreciate. Link to comment
Gaynor Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 Sorry for repeating my reply I thought it hadn't sent :s Link to comment
abitbroken Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Don't just "try". Do it. Block him on Facebook. Block his phone number. Tell your relatives that you have broken up and if they have any further questions about your relationship, they are to ask you, not him. Instruct mom to block him also. Tell them no matter what agony you seem in, do not give in. Also, staying away from your usual hangouts for awhile that he hangs at would be good also. I strongly suggest a support group or counseling Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 You don't seem to take very seriously how badly someone who loses self control can harm you, even by accident. Do you have any idea how many jail cells are filled with people who've harmed or killed another by a temper tantrum gone wrong? Until you get that, you'll make things a lot harder on yourself than they need to be. The guy is not relationship material, and he gave you that message very clearly the first time he slammed something. Wise up, and you'll thank yourself later. Link to comment
sharky988 Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Abusive behavior only escalates over time.... it doesn't get better, it only gets worse. Please take the advice given and BLOCK HIM everywhere -- online and off. Your mother needs to know that he's acted out violently. I seriously doubt she'd be trying to get you two back together if she knew what he's done! Don't protect him, don't keep his secrets. Tell everyone in your world what happened, so they can support you in breaking up with him -- and help keep you safe! Link to comment
Gaynor Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 He isn't on Facebook so I guess that won't be a problem,and we rarely cross paths unintentionally.i won't be contacting him iv said all I can.i told my mother now what he did.she was shocked because she thought him so lovely.but she now thinks it must have been just a front.i think the reason I don't feel as strongly about that violent behaviour is that it happened a while ago now.at the time I was very upset by it and so much do I managed to walk away and heal.but he never apologised for it either,not properly or with real sincerity. He didn't kick my door in,as such ,but he definitely kicked it so that the window part came open and I had to get it repair.he did show flashes or temper like getting mad while driving,and things he told me he had done to others.for example,kicking a woman's car when she had parked in front of his garage.these things aren't normal behaviour?i know this. It's just at odds with his good side.i know it's all a part of him though.im hurting over this last development cos now I wish I'd been left alone and I'd have been fine by now.thanks all for your input Link to comment
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