High School and College Age Difference

[Pretty Hate]

THis is my first year in high school and I turned fifteen at the beginning of the year. My boyfirend right now graduated from high school last year and is now nineteen. We have been going out since November of last year but many of my friends are saying that he is too old for me and I should go out with guys the same age as me. I get along with him much better than any boyfriend I've had though. I love him and I don't think the age difference matters what do you guys think?

[Stinkweed]

I love him

 

I think that in that case I think that it doesn't matter at all, and you shouldn't listen to what others say.

[Roasted Carrots]

Well that is a pretty big age difference....plus there's the legal issues involved.... I suppose that's really up to you, your boyfriend, and your parent's standards. I won't lecture you on that, just be safe.

 

What I'm concerned about is the fact that you and your boyfriend are at two completely different stages in your lives: A freshmen in high school and a freshmen in college have two different levels of experiances. You may be mature for your age, but homework, homecoming, gossip, movies, rebelling, and just generally finding yourself are your top priorites right now. Your boyfriend may have similar interests, but he's probably more involved in his major, branching out, or weekend parties.

 

Age differences are not a HUGE factor in most relationships, but they do matter. It's not clear from your post whether this is a long distance relationship or not, but if it is, that's just anothor factor you guys have to contend with. Plus, not all "high school sweetheart" relationships survive the newness of college.

 

But hey, like I said, I'm not here to lecture. If you're worried about the age difference, don't be... unless there's a legal issue. Enjoy your love as long as it lasts. Good luck!

[Stinkweed]

Age differences are not a HUGE factor in most relationships, but they do matter. It's not clear from your post whether this is a long distance relationship or not, but if it is, that's just anothor factor you guys have to contend with. Plus, not all "high school sweetheart" relationships survive the newness of college.

 

Well, actually, she's got a huge point there...

[larajenkins4]

4 years isnt much of an age gap at all, some relationships can extend up to 40 years age difference, if not more, and i reckon thats fine. although it does seem a bigger issue when you're younger, and you are only 15, although thats old enough to feel things for other people. as long as your relationship with this lad isnt sexual, because right now you're only 15, and thats illegal, because he's over 16. then it's fine. but you have to understand that you're friends worry about you, and are going to be a bit cautious, but at the end of the day, its what you feel that matters, and what makes you happy that counts, so if he makes you happy, and he treats you good then go for it. and remember that age difference doesnt matter, we dont always have to live those text book lives where everything is normal, and every woman dates a man two months older than her. it doesnt work like that, different people love different people, and thats alright as long as their happy. so do what ever you feel makes you happy, and don't worry about it!

[peanut15]

Wouldn't make much difference if you were in your 20s now would it?

 

You both are at an age where anything can happen and things can change where you feel that you are not in the same path in life. Who cares what your friends say but just be careful.

[Beautylieswithin]

Well sweetheart...first of all im 16 and my boyfriend is 20..we have been dating for two years now which would have made me 14 and him 18 when we started seeing each other..During the first few months of our relationship we had to sneak around in order to see each other because my parents would have flipped if they found out he was 18..now i didnt understand what the big deal was because my moms boyfriend is 8 years older then her so i figured it would be okay..unfortunately that was not the case..after about six months of being in love with my boyfriend i decided i couldnt stand sneaking around behind my parents back any longer..so i decided to confront my dad and my mom to tell them about the love of my life....well it didnt turn out so well my mother told me that she wanted nothing to do with me anymore and that i was no longer welcomed in her home..my dad on the other hand didnt have a huge problem with it but he wasnt happy about it either..my mom kicked me out and i was sent to live with my father..My boyfriend came down and spent every spare minute he had with me..when ever i wasnt at school and he wasnt at work we were together..LIFE WAS GREAT.. or at least i thought so...last november i was having severe pains in my stomach....i tried to ignore them thinking they would eventually go away but they just got worse..so after a few weeks i went to my doctor..only to find out that i was four months pregnant....I was terrified and shocked as well..i didnt know what to do or even worse i didnt know how to tell anyone...i waited about 2 weeks before i even told my boyfriend that he was going to be a daddy..he was just as shocked as i was..we had only had sex ONE time WITH PROTECTION...we never thought anything like that could happen to us...I gave birth to a Beatiful baby girl on december 17, although my dreams and goals in life had to be put on hold i dont regret anything...through out my entire pregnancy the thought of abortion and adoption was always lingering in the back of my mind but i could never go through with anything like that...my baby girl is my life and i couldnt have asked for a bigger blessing...my boyfriend has a great job and we just got a place together with the help of my father..hes a sweetheart and i couldnt ask for a better father for my daughter..im not sure how your going to take this letter..but take it from me i dont know if your sexually active or not but the only way to insure 100% birthcontrol is ABSTINANCE...i never thought that by having sex one time could change my life but it has..and there is no going back..as for the age difference between you and your boyfriend..do what you think is best as long as he treats you well and doesnt take advantage of you dont let anyone tell you what you should do..follow your heart..it never leads you in the wrong direction..if you could reply to this i would appreciate it...Thanks and goodluck!!!!