What is the difference?

[DaXMan]

When I "ask a girl out indirectly", they say yes:

"Hey (name), I was wondering if we could do something together sometimes. I think it can be fun."

 

As you'll read below, I end up having to revise it to this:

 

When I use the same formal, but use the word "date" in there, I get a no: Hey (name), would you like to do something with me sometime, like a date?"

 

So what's the difference? When I use the first format, they say yes and I think I'm set...but they don't think it's a real "date". When I mention the word "date" and they know it wud be the real thing, they say no.

 

Why would they say yes to one thing and no to another in this sitation?

[XxxMUAHxxX]

A date....it seems so serious. And in my opinion, girls think they have to get dressy for a date, were as just going out to have fun you can were normal everyday clothes.

[Day_Walker]

First of all if your going to ask a girl out directly you NEVER use words like wondering. You are using passive language and its not direct at all. I would advise revising your line if you want to seem more direct. I dont think you are getting the point about going out with females. Instead of dating them why dont you just hang out with them. That way its less formal and its more of a friendly situation, this way you dont have all the hang ups of a dating. This method works and works well you just have to become familiar with it.

[DaXMan]

Thanks for the advice, but here's what I really meant:

 

They can say yes to the first one, but a lot of the time they won't exactly stick to it. Also, I don't know if it's the best idea if we were to "go out" once only to find out she already has a bf or doesn't like me.

 

In my school, date doesn't exactly mean all serious and dressy. It just means that they agree to go out and will help arrange for a date (and be more committed).

 

I do get your points about just hanging out with girls and I like that. Pretty much I menat the first way I asked it they almost kinda view it "as friends" the second one would mean more like "possible couple".

 

Thanks for the advice! P.S. - I don't really say "wondering", maybe I did once - I just figured that's about the type of word that I will use.