Met someone new.

[korben]

I originally posted my story in the "getting back together" forum. I would link it here, but it isn't letting me post a link. Thanks again for the advice everyone gave.

 

I was hoping to get some more advice and perspective on my current situation. I've now met someone new, and I've gone on a couple of simple dates with her. Things are progressing very slowly, which is good because I am still hurting a lot from the break up. However, I'm starting to get to a point where if my ex were to contact me for the purpose of reconciliation, I would probably turn her down. After taking some time to think about the break up more, I don't think I could get back together with someone who treated me that way.

 

This new girl I've met is really great, but I'm having difficulty finding the energy to pursue her. I don't feel the same instant connection or draw that I felt with my ex when I first met her. I don't want to just pass up this opportunity though, I want to start actively pursuing this new girl, but I know I'm still in a lot of pain about the break up. How honest and up front should I be with this girl? I know it isn't romantic to start talking about exes, but I feel like it is unfair for me to start dating her without telling her about my lingering depression from the break up. I also don't want to scare her away.

 

How have others approached dating after a break up? I don't know that I'm ready yet, but this girl is too great to just pass up. I want to put in the effort.

 

Thanks.

[Twidom]

Ever heard "Right place wrong time" ? This may be the case. I don't think you'll be ready even if you want to.

[savignon]

^^Agree. You're just not ready for a new relationship and that's okay. Not the right time to pursue something new when you're still working through old feelings. Happens to the best of us and no matter how great someone else might be, you have to be 'ready' on your own accord.

[catfeeder]

This new girl I've met is really great, but I'm having difficulty finding the energy to pursue her. I don't feel the same instant connection or draw that I felt with my ex

 

You're not over your ex yet. Research the term 'rebound' and learn why it's really not fair to the new girl to position her like this.

 

I'd just explain to new girl that I think she's terrific, but I pursued her too soon, and I still have old business to finish in getting over my ex. If she's open to dating someday in the future, you'd like to contact her to see if she's still available.