My girlfriend says we should slow down.

[Knobby14]

So Ill start by saying I'm a 17 year old male, who is dating a 17 year old female. We have been dating for a little over a week, and I definitely feel more strongly for her than she does for me. This is my first real relationship, while it is her third. She has had some bad experiences with past relationships and has been emotionally hurt in some of them. We have not done much physically together the extent is hugging, holding hands, and cuddling up to watch a movie. She thinks that things are moving too fast, I think part of her fear is being hurt again, as well as going off to college soon. I really care about her and want to respect her decision, but do not know how to act. Any advice would really be helpful.

[Ms Darcy]

Respect her decision and let her take the lead. One week in is no time at all. She may have lost interest.

[Knobby14]

Thanks for the reply. I do think that she is still interested. How should I go about letting her take the lead?

[midnightdeirdre]

Well, I hate to say it: but realistically, most high school romances don't last. Or rather, if they do, the relationship is off and on for quite awhile until the couple is steady and exclusive for a long time.

 

When she says "things are moving too fast" does she mean she wants to break up? Or just take things slow physically?

[Ms Darcy]

Let her contact you first to hang out.

[Knobby14]

I believe that when she says things are moving too fast, it is because she is afraid to commit and needs more time to get to know me.

[oneheart]

Well quite simply, slow down, maybe you're giving off a vibe that screams be with me, just back off a little but always be positive and happy to talk and be with her, get to know her as a person, laugh with her, have fun, stop thinking about down the road its easy to early for that

[CeeLambrini]

It's nice that you are enthusiastic to be with her and you seem pretty smitten. However, these feelings when shown too soon can be a little overwhelming if the other person isn't quite feeling the same way. It doesn't mean she will never feel the same way, it means that she is moving at her own pace - yes her past relationships have taught her to be more cautious instead of jumping in too soon and that is in no way a bad thing. But rushing things when she is not comfortable with that pace is going to chase her away.

How is your behaviour to her regarding things such as texting, public displays of affection, calling her up, and the content of the conversations you have with her? That might give us a little more indication on what areas she would like you to slow down in. Just a few pointers until then

Texting should not be over-done, if she doesn't reply to a text, don't text again and again until she does. PDA is different for everyone. If she is in the middle of a conversation with someone else for example, coming in and hugging her or kissing her mid sentence is not going to go down well. Calling her every day without her asking you to may also be a little too much as well.

Filling the conversations you have with her about the future, lovey-dovey stuff, her exes, her experience is also a little bit too much especially when you're not concentrating on getting to know her more.

Those are just a few things to think about but if there's anything else you'd like to add then do say so

[Knobby14]

Update... She friend zoned me.