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Girlfriend cheated on me. She's a lesbian


glauncher

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I'm so sad. My ex gf of 2.5years left me about 1.5 month ago saying that she lost her feelings. I did NC ever since hoping to move on and maybe one day reconcile. Today I accidentally found out the truth - She started dating a coworker(female) since December 2013. I know i have to move on but atm i just can't accept the truth... i trusted her that she said it's about us and nobody else. she even said before that she hates people who had rebound relationship shortly after breakup. Also she told me "maybe one day we can still reconcile"...I lost all my trust and faith in love today.

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I'm sorry for your loss. She is a coward. I had an ex do that. The betrayal and then the lying on top of that dented my trust for a while too but then I came to the realisation that that persons actions were hers and hers alone. I came to accept that her moral compass was not the same as mine and that, although it hurt like heck for a long time, I was better off. You'll get to that point too.

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I'm sorry for your loss. She is a coward. I had an ex do that. The betrayal and then the lying on top of that dented my trust for a while too but then I came to the realisation that that persons actions were hers and hers alone. I came to accept that her moral compass was not the same as mine and that, although it hurt like heck for a long time, I was better off. You'll get to that point too.

 

Thanks JJ2980... I searched a lot of threads in this forum for weeks until yesterday looking for chances of reconcillation,how to heal and move on, NC, etc... And now... I know i won't ever want her back. so painful...

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I'm assuming you're a guy?

 

In any case, I'd take her sexual orientation out of the picture for a moment and try to look at this more objectively: the vast majority of breakups are caused by the same type of situation you describe. The dumper meets someone else, gradually becomes invested in them, and dumps their current partner with some lame fabrication ("I just need to be alone for a while," "I'm not ready for a relationship," "My feelings have changed" blah blah blah)..... She even gave you the standard assurances about never rebounding, then the "maybe someday we can reconcile" speech.... really, what happened isn't that unusual, except that the person she had on the horizon was the same sex as her.

 

It's hard to see it that way now, but it's actually a blessing if she turns out to be gay because that will help you to move on. It hurts now... but in the long run, it could help you by stopping you from clinging to false hope for a reconciliation.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

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You're welcome -- and try to get some rest. Tomorrow pick yourself up some Melatonin tablets at the drugstore, that's a safe natural sleeping aid. Also google Valerian -- you can get capsules at the drug store, it's a natural sedative to help you relax and many people use it for stress and for helping sleeping as well.

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People don't "become" gay or bi or straight. We're all born with whatever sexuality we have.

 

I call it a blessing because many people continue to cling to false hopes for reconciling after a breakup. In your case, the breakup is more final -- so it'll help you to accept that it's really over and this will help you move on.

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ok.thanks.but just want to ask..y is it a blessing if she turns out to be gay?i felt my confidence at all time low bcz i as a guy couldnt keep my gf n she's becoming a gay.i just feel so bad for myself.
There's a lot of unacknowledged pressure to be straight (or "normal"). Society is more or less set up to be binary -- that all relationships are between male and female and nothing else, it starts when we're babies. She may not have even known she was gay, a lot of people don't realise it or come out until they're in their twenties -- you didn't make her become gay. I'm sure she didn't do it to hurt you and you're fortunate in that there's nothing you can do... she didn't break it off because of something you said or did (or didn't say or didn't do). She left you because it literally isn't you, it's her. If she had left you for a better looking guy, or a richer one, or a guy who is more buff, you might compare yourself to him negatively. In this case, you simply can't do anything, or compare, because you can't become a girl. And there's nothing you can do to fix it and get her back, either, for the same reason.
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