I am just soo confused...not to mention thoroughly irritated

[MyNinja]

Hi everyone,

 

well, I don't know about you guys but has anyone ever hd any problems with their grandparents, great grandparents??? I ve discussed this earlier in the year about my great gramdma getting on my nerves big time. Well it's still continuing and Im in college for pete's sake...Get this when I lived at home Granny called non-stop only wanting to talk to me out of the ten peple that lived there. She always talks to me like Im 6 or something, and she's always telling me to "socialize" with people. Im thinking "what is this woman nagging about!!??" Gosh I just want her to leave me alone!!! This has be going on for years.....She's always touching me, which I hate, and always trying to get me to go to her house.She's obsessed!! She has my cell number now, which I wish she didn't have, and everytime she talks to me I get the urge to hang up in her face....she tells me I don't need to drive or so any "grown up" things....what right does she have??? she even likes to put me down saying Im going to be sorry in the future, blah, blah. this woman is 83, will she calm down?? she's worried over nothing and it's only me she's "worried" about in the family. Why is she like this? old age?

 

Another thing is does anyone have problems telling thier parents about the problems you omay be having and they instantly talk about thier own not even acknowledging yours?? Im having this problem and i realize the advice I'm going to get is from you all so thanks for listening when my family won't...my dad continues to tell me about his problems, but when I tell him mine he has nothing to say other than "oh, i see" but he continually tells me his problems, the same problems over and over and over again!!! I get really fustrated. does anyone know why he's like this??sometimes it seems to me he's full of himself...he talks ssooo much and he talks in circles saying the same thing over just in a different form. I tune out really quick because he's redundent and he repeates himself too much. when somebody,anybody else says something it seems he doesn't listen like he's daydreaming....I don't think I can do anything but this is irritating...any suggestion??? hey, thanks a million

[Celadon]

Hey mo'Nique - I feel for you. I don't have any grandparents still living, but I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel that way about my parents. Them talking about the same old things over and over, or not clue-ing in when I'm trying to tell them something or whatever.

 

I think what's most frustrating is that we want something better from them. Like, you probably want some good advice from your folks, but instead they're not really listening. When you think about it, it's really heartbreaking. I mean, if we can't go to our parents for advice and support, who can we? (Well, obviously we can all come here, but it's disappointing not to get help from our parents.)

 

Okay, well, I don't have any magic answers to make them behave any better, sorry. But you can probably do well to just accept them as they are. I've had to do that. I can't change them, and I've given up trying.

 

I do want to have sympathy for them, but at the same time, I need to figure out a way to have my own needs met. Then I'll have more to give them.

 

Well, don't know that I've helped you at all, but hang in there -- try to be patient with them, accept that they're limited human beings, and find the support you need in your friends or maybe in some other older people who can act like your mentors. Take care.

[DBL]

My grandmothers weren't all that nice. One made me sit in the rain when I was like 3 while letting my sister in her home. The other would remind me how much she liked my cousins over me and I was thes the only grandchild they avoided. Even to this day I do not speak to any of my aunts, uncles or cousins. They have made it perfectly clear what they think of me.

 

My parents don't listen either, what I say goes in one ear and out the other. Then I have to listen to their stupid problems. I just don't discuss nothing with them any more. Why waste my breath.

 

All I can say to you is find someone else that will listen to your thoughts and problems.

 

Good Luck

 

DBL