Ex called to tell me she's engaged...yay!

[cobro]

Its been awhile since I've been here. Over a year ago my gf broke up with me. We had been together on and off for over 2 years, she was my first love and everything else. I took it pretty hard and managed to just start dating again back in July, since I've dated 2 girls just haven't met the right one yet, but I don't take the breakups hard at all. I can finally say I'm over the ex, its the perfect healing/personal growth and sucess story for me because of things I've accomplished in my career and personal life. I'm not the same guy I was a year ago. There's only one kink in this perfect story, the ex consistently wants to keep in contact with me for some reason. I've only called her once and e-mailed her once in the last year, probably when I wasn't over her yet and feeling down. She started dating a new guy a month after we broke up and they've been together for over a year now. She calls me once or twice a month "to catch up". She called me a few days ago to tell me she got engaged to this guy and they are moving back to my town and moving in together and getting married in 2 years. I am happy for her, what can I say. Better him than me, seeing that she's dumped him like 3 times in the last year, just like she did to me when we dated. So my main question/concern is, what is her motive to stay in contact and tell me these things? Our conversation is usually short and friendly not too personal. Everyone thinks she keeps in contact with me for backup purposes, in case things don't work out with him. Personally, if I was in love and getting married, I wouldn't talk to my exes especially if I broke up with them. One clue into this is a comment she made out of the blue a couple of months ago saying "I was a big part of her life and had a huge impact on her and alway will." Is it backup, or just being friendly? I know her new fiance wouldn't like this. Whats her deal.

Cobro

[CarterJonas]

I have no idea what her deal is in keeping in contact with you.

 

I am happy that you are over her, is there a benefit for you to stay in touch? or would you be better having no contact and moving completely on?

[xmrth]

This is what I think:

 

She probably views you as some kind of a "backup" in case things don't work out with this guy. You would "work great for that" since you two dated so long and she went out with someone else a month afterwards. Plus they keep breaking up just like you two did when you were dating.

[Finch]

I wouldn't ever get myself involved with her emotionally ever again. It's just not worth it because you are likely a backup boyfriend. I've been in that situation before and it just makes a person feel worthless to be second choice. You don't need that in your life. Keep your focus on work and continue dating more women.