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An Update Post - Losing control.


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Hey all, Previous Thread:

showthread.php?t=466360

 

Just a little update.

 

My ex had the abortion as I previously talked about in the old thread but it's still killing me, I wanted to be a father and that was going to be my very first child, it's just killing me inside. I havent been able to get it off my mind for a while, it's been a month since the Abortion (17 Dec) and I still feel like utter crap.

 

The problem is that it's not just me being upset about it now, it's escalated into that depressed phase once again and I'm displaying the same signs as I did before when I attempted to take my life. I've got suicide on the brain, not the act of commiting suicide but just Writting out things where the initial letters of each line spells out "S U I C I D E", I know I'm doing that but it's still weird, I did the same thing before. The next stage is actively thinking about commiting it and I can't seem to pull myself out of this hole I'm in.

 

I've reached the point where I'm starting to just not care about life again. I'm too afraid to see my Doctor because I just know I'll be sent to the Mental care hospital where I'll have to live and I don't really want to go there.

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Sounds like you might have a mild psychotic episode due to depression. I know you don't want to hear this but I think it would be in your best interest to go to your doctor.. He might suggest some medication. BTW, I can totally empathize with your situation, and think it is very normal you're experiencing depression..

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Were you planning on taking full custody of the child or were you expecting your ex to take care of the child while you visited the child? Do you have a job? Would you be able to support a child financially?

 

In the circumstances I'm currently in I would not be able to financially support the child, I understand the abortion /was/ the best thing for my ex and possibly myself but that doesent remove the heartache of losing the child.

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In the circumstances I'm currently in I would not be able to financially support the child, I understand the abortion /was/ the best thing for my ex and possibly myself but that doesent remove the heartache of losing the child.

 

I think if you can work with a therapist/counselor, he or she can help you talk through the feelings versus the reality of the situation. Sometimes rationality is needed in situations like these.

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