In Love and Love

[Day_Walker]

If you have read some of my previous posts about the idea of being "in love" then you will know that I dont believe in being in love. I have various reasons why i believe so but it comes down to that i dont think being "in love" has anything to do with love, it has more to do with passion and infatuation. I dont want to make it sound like there is only one true love out there, because I dont believe that either but I do believe that there are multiple people that we will love in our lives.

 

I am looking for explanations as to why you believe in the idea of being "in love" as opposed to just loving the person. Im not looking for presonal experience i want more responses on how you feel about it and why you believe being "in love" is justified.

[CarterJonas]

I have also started to question whether there is such a thing as being 'in love' or whether it is really just love. Of course when you spend intimate time with someone you grow attached emotionally, but is this any different to your attachment to a parent or siblings, apart from the sexual aspect of that relationship?

 

It'll be interesting to see what other people think

[tiger_lilies]

I'm in the same boat boys....starting to question the whole idea of relationships and what they're for.

 

My take on the question is: Being "in love" certainly has a lot to do with infatuation and the constant need to be with that one person...whereas "love" is somewhat unconditional. Such as, I love my mother.

[OceanEyes]

Well said Tiger.

 

I think, for me, to actually commit to someone and remain in a long-term relationship with them, I must be "in love". I love many of my close friends and family, but that doesn't mean that I need them or crave their presense.

 

I think being "in love" means that you actually need that person and always want them around you; you crave their touch, their voice, the intimacy with them. Being "in love" is a glamorous way to say, "I'm attached emotionally".

[RayKay]

Well, I think there is definitely such a thing as in love...but I also believe long term love goes through cycles so you may not always be "in love" but you will love them strongly still.

 

Too many people think that one must always be "in love" and then break it off (the classic "I love you, but am not IN love with you" phrase) not realizing that you need to fuel the fire, and go through those cycles.

 

To me, in love definitely does include passion...I love many people, and have loved many stronger, but it is those that I am IN love with that I am not only strongly love, but am also passionate and "in love" with.

 

I honestly have a very hard time describing it, however it is just different, and my brushes with it are more rare than "regular" love. It is more of an unconditional and persistent passion, that even if you have been with them for years, you are still as into them as ever, and always learning and growing and passionate...you fall for them all over again 100's of times over for little reasons. I do think for me at least, there is a very big unconditional love aspect to it, but it is a far more intense love I would have for other people.

 

As to why being "in love" is justified....there are some things in life that cannot really be explained, and I think the realm of love is one of them...science can blame it on chemical balances, spirituality on fate and soulmates..but when it comes down to it, it does not matter WHY, it just is and is one of the greatest things in life

[ashik]

k ima give my 2 cents.

We do love a lot of people in our lives, this doesent only include family but also the partners we've had over the years.

 

This also encorporates the concept of "the one".

 

>>I believe that when u feel complete with that person, complete as in help u grow spiritually, noones perfect but with them u r perfect not cuz they r with u BUT cuz they fill the voids.

>>When they except and love you with all urs faults and u with theirs.

>>When its unconditional, for example wouldnt matter to you if the person gets into an accident and becomes ugly or body gets deformed or dysfunctional, or like u wud go thru any harm before anything happenin to them.

>>When there is no u or no me, when u become one.

>>And oviously u wanna be with the person all the time, their eyes give u a high etc etc etc.

 

oviously there ups n downs, but the feeling is jus too strong to get anything in between.

 

When both partners have this mutual feeling, then id say they r "in love". and jus love, well u all knw wut is it, do no need to talk about it.

 

Now some may argue that its not practically possible and stuff like that, but id say when u find "the one" it will be.

 

I am not as experienced as you guys, but jus somethin ive observed in my life.

[Yorkrose23]

I think you have more choice in who you love than who you are in love with.

[jenb]

i dont believe in being "in love" either. till it actually happened. there are people i love, like family and friends, but when you are "in love" it does feel very different than if you were to just love this person. i dont know if that makes any sense, but yeah. i love my sister, but im not IN love w her. i love my best friend, but im not IN love w her. ya know? the "in love" feeling is love, but it's more.. haha i dont know how to explain it but yeah. that's what i thinkl

[ticklebug]

exactly Jen...

 

don't get hung up on the WORDS...

 

love, IN love, someone, THE one...throw an adjective or prepostion in front of a simple word and all of a sudden it becomes complicated.

 

The words are just a description of a feeling...a very GENERAL description...but the feeligs are very different...

 

you love your dog (if you are in love with your dog there is a definate problem there...LOL) you love your parents, you love chocolate ice cream

 

you are "in love" with someone, outside of your family that you consider spending the rest of your life with. To be humorus...look at it this way, the "in" separates the feeling from being perverted or sick.

 

Same goes for someone and "the" one.

 

You meet someone on the bus. You work with someone. You have dated somone in the past...

 

but you found "the one" who stands out...at that particular point and time in your life. That person could end up just becoming a someone someday...but for now...they get the "the".

[dirtbubble]

I do not think infatuation is the same as truly being in love.

 

Infatuation does not include the beloved. You can have a big fat crush on anybody, without their permission. That's not really being "in love."

 

Love on the other hand, also does not require permission or depend on the beloved's response to your love. I love my children whether they love me or not, for example. Love is the glue of the universe, the all-inclusive positive nature of things. Love is the way selflessness is self-serving. Okay blah blah blah

 

Anyway, being "in love" is mutual thing. My spouse and I are in love because we put each other way up on a pedestal above everyone else. We get it on. We respect each other and adore each other. We work for the benefit of each other just to see how sexy we look happy. Yeah, there is passion, but it is enduring passion because we feed it with good stuff. It goes through ups and downs and phases, but it's worth working on.

 

In love is a fragile state. It's a crystal you have to cherish and protect, and when you shake it up or don't feed it, it hurts.

[Breea]

Love is so hard to articulate. There have been some really good points made on this forum.

 

I believe that there is a difference in "love" and "in love" and that being in love DOES exist. It is the whole enchilada! It is loving "the one" more than you ever though possible before actually experiencing being in love. It is unconditional and pure. And oh so hard to express in words ...and until one experiences it, it is seen as just a fairy tale feeling that doesn't really exist. Just my opinion. There is no greater feeling than being in love. I feel so fortunate to have found my love.

[chai714]

Here are my personal definitions:

 

Love: the highest level of emotions or feelings that you have for someone or something. Also, the most overused word in the English language.

 

ex. nobody actually "loves" chocolate ice cream. They enjoy eating it, and they like it. Using the word "love" when referring to things that can not reciprocate the feeling is incorrect. thereforeeee, we can say that it's not appropriately used when referring to the above stated example.

 

In Love: see definition of "Love" above.

 

Hence, there's no such thing as "in love." If you love something, then that's it . . there's no stronger emotion. People often say "in love" which generally means "in-fatuated," especially at the beginning of relationships. But down the line when a deeper love is established, people simply love each other.

 

On another note, RayKay made a good point earlier about people using the excuse to break up, by using the famous line "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." People - If you're gonna break up with someone, you need to come up with something original and not so Hollywood.