what have i done?

[cheer_up]

oh dear. im 16 and i had a party. my mum went out and we found some alcohol and all got quite drunk(i know its a dumbass thing to do). Anyways most people went home but my friend stayed over. i feel guilty now because we somehow ended up kissing and he gave me head and i gave him it. I didn't think until afterwards and then i felt so bad about what happened. i didnt want this to happen and i can tell that things arent gonna be the same between us now. I just wish it hadnt happened. But now i cant stop thinking about it and i feel just bad about it. i cut myself a bit(which i find stupid but i just did) but now im starting to feel like im not gonna be able to live without thinking "WHY?" costantly. What can i do to stop feeling bad about it?. I know it was the alcohol and i'd never have done it otherwise but i just want to take it back now and i cant.

[Blazintrav]

Welcome to life.

[MelodyCalls]

Time is a great healer, and it will take time for you to get over the guilt you're feeling. It will go away and you will feel better. There's no reason it should ruin your friendship, but you may need to talk about it at some point.

 

I've done stupid, alcohol fuelled things in front of friends and althout it was awkward at first, it didn't take too long before things were back to normal.

[Cadence308]

We all do stupid things we regret. I don't think you should feel suicidal over it or let it ruin your life. I do think it will make you feel better to talk to your friend about it. Who knows, maybe he doesn't feel as guilty and regret it to the extent that you are. Maybe he has feelings for you. You need to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling and that you don't think that it should happen again. Then just try to let it go. We all make mistakes and most of us have made stupid mistakes under the effects of alcohol. Just regognize this, try not to make the same mistake again, and move on with your life.

[soon2bfamous]

are you and/or your friend homosexual?

[SaSaRai]

dont worry about it, just talk to your friend and get over it. and you'll forget about it and it wont bother you, just give it soem time. dont let it ruin your friendship, trust me it will all be ok.

[chblueguy]

I wouldn't say to not worry about it. I mean this is something huge in a friendship. It doesn't have to be the swan song for you two, but you do need to discuss it if you feel weird about it. If not, just forget it happened. This happens more often than you know, trust me, it has happened to me. Me and my buddy just didn't bring it up. We're still the best of friends.

 

So are you just worried about your frienship or are questioning your sexuality as well?

[shorty4ever15]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I agree with Bally's in pretty much all aspects here. We all do stupid things that we feel like we could die for. But you just have to put it in the past. What's done is done.

 

You should try talking with your friend. Find out if it was just completely spontaneous on both your parts or whether it meant something to him. I'm guessing he is roughly the same age as you so that might have been his way of "experimenting". I understand that you were drunk, but at the time it seemed to be mutual so I feel that he would be understanding if you talk with him.

 

Just as a side note. I've seen a lot of guys act somewhat gay if they have something to drink, but I've never seen it taken to that extent. Is there some part of you that is unsure of yourself. It's OK if that's the case. You can be honest with us. That's the great thing about this site. I have met very--and I mean very--few people that are 100% confident they are not gay at your age. Confidence doesn't usually start to come until your late teens, early twenties. I'm sorry if this is completely wrong here, but it is just a shot in the dark as to why you may feel so "disappointed" right now.

 

I hope things get better for you. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk privately.

 

~Shorty

[cheer_up]

Well firstly im bi-sexual which he knew about. he isnt bi. Im just worried that it'll ruin the friendship but he'll blame me for what happened even though he like initiated it all. i think just moving on and forgetting about it would be the best thing to do. i feel better about myself now because i went on a retreat with my school and it was amazing. i just probably need to talk to my friend now and sort of forget it. Thanks everyone your advice has helped

[shorty4ever15]

It sounds to me that "experimentation" was at work here. He may have been feeling confused and wanted to either confirm that he isn't gay or see if maybe he was.

 

i think just moving on and forgetting about it would be the best thing to do.

 

What happened is done and over with. If he hasn't advanced since then, then there is a chance he gained a sense of confidence in his sexuality. Whether or not you want to talk about it is kind of up in the air. That's more or less, your decision. If things aren't comfortable as of now--then I wouldn't worry about it. If it is really bothering you, then go ahead and talk about. I'm glad that--despite your own sexuality--you haven't taken what happened between you two to something its not and just want to maintain friendship with this guy. That takes a lot of courage and self-restraint to do that after something like that happens.

 

~Shorty

[cheer_up]

well i always said i wouldnt do anything (relationship i mean) with any of my friends(i dont want anything with anyone at the moment). the thing is, is i felt terrible afterwards and im not sure if it was because i did those things with a friend or because it was with a male. oh well i'll let time decide that one.

[shorty4ever15]

You should really figure out how you feel about the situation before you approach your friend about it. It might not go so well if you try to talk to your friend when you don't even know what you want or feel.