This is a unique situation

[tbbearcat5]

First off, I would like to say thank you to whomever helped me with a previous dilemma, that has been worked out and we are now on good terms. I have a different problem now however with a different girl, and I want to see if you all agree with me on how I should handle it. It could get long, but I'll try my best to keep it to a minimum.

 

To start off, the girl is 18 and a freshman in college, and I am 21, and a junior. I first met her through friends at a bi-weekly dance party (I am part of the group that puts them on, along with these friends), and after that night I didn't have any contact with her until last Monday night (a period of a few weeks), when I was invited over by one of her friends to her room to play cards and drink a little.

 

Throughout the whole time I was over there, I found myself looking in her direction a lot, and vice versa. I hinted to one of her friends, who happens to be one of my best friends as well, that I liked her. Apparently, the girl felt the same way, and she told my friend that if I would ask her out, she would accept. The next night, we watched a movie together, and cuddled in bed afterwards, where she initiated hand-holding and kissing. I wasn't about to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable, unless she made the first move. She left around 1:30 that morning due to having an early-morning class.

 

Same thing happens the next night, except I am with her in her room. I left at around 1 AM due to also having an early class, and also due to her bed being a little smaller than mine (I am a big guy) so it was hard to get comfortable at all. The next night is another one of those dance parties, and not many people show up. I ask her to dance, but she is rather shy, as she doesn't like to dance when there aren't a lot of people around.

 

But here's the strange thing - she has initiated almost everything. MSN conversations, handholding, kissing, etc. She even has invited me over to her room often in the past few days, and often messes with me when I am there. We talk 2-3 times a day online. Pretty much the only thing I have initiated at all so far were a few MSN conversations, and I asked her out to a movie this upcoming week, to which she replied that she would have to get back to me on it, which is fine.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's just strange that the physical contact (cuddling, not sex) just stopped immediately...I understand that she is a freshman in college, I was one once, and that she has to become more comfortable with herself, as well as others. I don't want a relationship right off the bat, just some more opportunities one-on-one with her, to get a better idea of what she's like, which so far, I like. I don't have solid feelings for her, but she did make me feel a way I hadn't felt in a while...a sense of completeness.

 

Now for my question: Should I talk to her about how I feel, or just wait a little bit to see if she confronts me? If she didn't like me, I don't think she would talk to me so often or want to spend time with me much.

 

There's more, but I'll cut it off here. Let me know if you have any comments, insight, or if you need clarification on anything. Thanks again for reading.

[Just A Teen]

Hey man,

so the problem is you guys became all close and cuddling and and kissing and all this.... not sex... and are you wondering why she didnt wanna have sex with you? or why she just stop hanging out with y ou and everything. sorry im a little confused

[tbbearcat5]

I'll try to clear that up a bit.

 

No, I'm not worried about sex...because I know at an early stage, it could complicate things. And it's not that she doesn't want to hang out w/me...she talks to me a lot, and invites me over to her room often.

 

The cuddling just kinda stopped...it's just strange because I don't know why. Everything seemed to be going well and then, bam, it stopped for no apparent reason. She did go to a movie with another guy last night, which is fine. I have my friends, she has her friends. Some of the girls that she is friends with on her floor, are friends with me too. I don't know if that has any bearing on the situation, though.

 

I just think with her being a freshman in college, she needs time to make friends and sort her self out...I plan on talking to her sometime this week.

 

Hope that helps.

[Just A Teen]

oh okay man that helps,

well here ya go:

 

i think shes just scared and she doesn't wanna jump into a relationship and she's scared it'll go further... I remember me and my girlfriend ( before we dated ) used to always cuddled and everything...and one night we spent the night together in my camper and we cuddled and everything... Then i kissed her three times and we stopped cuddling...went to sleep... i dont know its a women thing... Espically since shes a freshman you know?? Its the begging of the 4 years ( or however long she's planning to stay ) and she doesn't wanna spend the next year or two stayin with one guy or.. you know when girls/guys just wanna stay single for a while?? That could be it... i think theres 4 things you can do:

1: Talk to her about it

2: Try cuddling and see what she does ( you can' always tell if they want to or dont want to with facial expressions... )

3: Ask her friends

4: Don't try to cuddle..

 

Id say go with 1-3...lol... first try number 3, then 2, then 1...lol... Alright hope i helped a little.. post again so i know how it goes

[tbbearcat5]

I have talked to her friends, and they all think that it's quite cute, actually, that we like each other. She talked to me again today, we talked for about 20 or so minutes (she initiated, once again).

 

I asked her last week to go see Polar Express, I hear that is a good date movie...she said then that she would have to see what is going on that night...I think I mentioned that already though? Anyways, I am going to bring it up again soon (maybe tonight, but probably tomorrow) before she gets any plans.

 

I also noticed something odd today...her font color on msn matched mine....not her font, but the color. It hasn't before...it was just plain 'ol black. Mine is green. Interesting.

 

I'll keep you posted, man.