Gf meets her Ex and is upset

[Ironman3]

Hey everyone. It's been a week since my girl went home and has been recovering from her fall from a staircase. However, she was going to come back to my place today but she end up meeting with her ex (who abused her in the past) and she got violent. Her mom said that she started screaming and was terribly upset. She didn't come over to my place and has been crying all evening on the phone with me. She's made a lot of progress but now she said she feels like she's back to square one again. She tried to cut a vein when she was alone in her room. She even wrote a whole letter for me for it. Her mom found her right in time to stop her from hurting herself. She's never been this upset before. The girl I know was much stronger than this and she's someone who has given me a lot of strength over the years when I needed it the most.

 

I don't know what to do and how to comfort her. She's really loved this guy at one point of time but now she's scared of him. She sees his face in her nightmares and has night tremors etc. I am totally upset about her and I don't know how to help her. I called her therapist whom she has been seeing and he suggested to take her to him tomorrow. She's finally managed to sleep just a little while ago. I'm really worried.. Why would those symptoms come back? would she be able to bear with it? I'm so worried. I want to protect the one thing that I love the most and can't live without.

[SooSad33]

Not sure the time span between her ex and you? But she's obviously been traumatized by him.

WHY would she 'meet with him"... after all you've said about her having nightmares?

She DOES need some help dealing with this. Good call to therapist.

 

If she doesn't show herself able to cope/self injury, therapist may mention her going to rehab place..to be watched.. intensive therapy etc. (Sanitarium)..

This is not good the fact of self injury. She needs to work on 'better' coping mechanisms. And Im not sure she was really going to do herself in? More maybe like a 'cry for help'. It's done often with intention to 'release'.. or 'vent' a frustration- but one can go overboard, yes.

 

This is why she needs to be seen again. Is she on anything for depression? If not, maybe that should be suggested too?

She needs to work on taking care of herself and getting better mentally.

 

You just be there for if/when she likes to talk. Often we'll push the other one 'away', not really wanting to but we do cause we feel like crap. Dont disapear though. Stick around for her.

She may say leave.. but sometimes she may just need a nice touch or hug.

 

Good step to get going on therapist contact.. next shld be med's, if she's not taking something and my gawd- she should NOT be in any further contact with that Abusive Ex!

[Ironman3]

Hey SooSad33. I'm sorry I made a mistake when I wrote this. I meant to say that she bumped into her ex. She had gone out with her mom to buy something. That's when all this happened. The trauma happened in her schooling years. I don't know what to say. I'm feeling broken

[sammi87]

I am a little confused... When you say "my girl" is this someone you are in a romantic relationship with or a close friend?

 

Either way...if her mom witnessed her trying to open a vein, she should be able to call the ER and get this woman evaluated and hospitalized for at least a period of time.

[Ironman3]

I am a little confused... When you say "my girl" is this someone you are in a romantic relationship with or a close friend?

 

Either way...if her mom witnessed her trying to open a vein, she should be able to call the ER and get this woman evaluated and hospitalized for at least a period of time.

 

Since when did 'my girl' start referring to a close friend? I'm talking about a romantic relationship.

 

I'd appreciate if you could use a bit more pleasant terms than "get this woman evaluated". We all have people we care about. Thanks for taking the time to reply.