I don't know how to feel. 3 years, now were broken up

[Ineedtokn0w]

I was dating this guy for 3 years, was. Since I was 16, and now were in our 20's. We were inlove for the first little while. Then I noticed a change..or should I say saw how he really was, he began treating me like crap. For example:

-ignored me

-mocked me when I cried

-pushed/shoved me into walls

-would get extremely mad at me for literally nothing at all/get in my face and raise his fists at me

-this one time we went for a trip out of the country, me and his family and Idk we argued cos my ice cream meltdd on my hand and he got so angry he taxi'd me back to our hotel, as we we're in the cab he kept whispering in my ear "were over haha, don't talk to me when we get back into Canada, you're a en idiot, I hate you. Stupid " and I was sitting there trying so hard to fight back my tears, that was the first time seeing him like that.

From there, I forgave him, he ended up feeling back when I melted down. Said sorry blah blah

But over all he never really treated me all that well. He did at times

But if I were to put good times and bad times on a scale, bad would out weight the good.

 

After 2 years, I began getting fed up.

I met this guy I work, I didn't plan on it but I ended up catching feelings. Nothing came from this, i never even talked to him. And vice versa. I just kept my distance, but he ended up getting my number from my manager my bf saw it and freaked out calling me a yada yada.

 

So..idk fast forward

He wanted to leave me, and my mom was ill, fatally sick and I was already so depressed, I literally wanted to committe suicide and he chose NOW to leave. I found it so selfish but, I can't get mad he doesn't want me but damn atleast wait until I'm emotionally stable to drop a huge weight on me

 

We were basically on and off for a year, it's crazy I know.

 

Now, we broke up I didn't talk to him for 4 months and I had a dream he died, making me think I still care for him, called him, Hung out, got along for 2 weeks. He ended up hating me again. And idk he brought up this new girl and kept rubbing it in my face when I asked him politely "please don't give me those unnescary details. It just hurts to hear, plleae." But he literally kept. Pushing. It. And obviously it hurt to hear, I was use to the girl being me. He kept saying stuff like "I don't care about you, cry haha I don't even feel bad dude. Cry! Haahha, I want her. She's all I think about." Now I know some of you may think "he's doing it to get you jealous" I really don't think that's the issue. I know by now he clearly has moved on. Hates me idk why! Doesn't ever WANA get back which is fine.

But..I stil can't let go of our past.

All I do is focus on the good times

And the old him.

Now he's some coke head who parties and ugh. How do I let go?

How do I be okay and content with him wanting another woman?

[sadgirl23]

This guy is a creep!

[SooSad33]

The guy is a loser who has now done damage to you over the time you've spent with him. Total disrespect & verbal abuse etc.

You do not do this to someone you love.

So now, YOU have to work on 'accepting' the loss, dealing with the pains of the relationship & the break up.

It will take a while for you to do (grieving, sadness, lonliness, heartbreak, denial, etc).

We have all had to deal with this (especially on this site). I know, it is NOT easy, at all. You completely fall apart and become so empty, teary and alone. Your world has fallen apart. You're a mess.

 

Things can and will improve.. slowly.. over time. Once you adjust to the changes, accept he's gone and become more emotionally stable and where you are 'happy' again.

Then begin to 'live again' and work on dating again,

 

One day at a time.. as you work on this sad mess of events.

Sorry for the crap you had to endure. Stick around there though. Always something to read about or ask.

tc

[LovesMusic]

No one should have to put up with that kind of emotional abuse. It is not healthy and that is not love. I can understand arguments and things get said that shouldn't be said, but this guy is emotionally abusing you. You need to cut him off. As for you being upset that he left you, and aside from him being an emotional abuser, you were stepping outside of your relationship by involving yourself with this other guy. Two red flags.... You should leave. Give yourselves time to grow and mature. Maybe things will be different if you two still have feelings for each other after an extended period of time or maybe you both will find people better for you. Point is, what you two have right now is not healthy, nor is working.

[Mesemene]

Sadistic loser. You are SO well rid of him. Did he pull wings off flies as a child?

 

How do you let it go? Pity that other woman. Seriously. He may be nice to her initially - how long do you give it before he starts abusing her?

 

You need to start focusing on just you for a while. Until you have your "self" back, it's kind of hard to give yourself to someone else. First you hurt, then you heal and start rebuilding. One baby step at a time, one day at a time.

 

You gave him more than enough pieces of yourself to torment - don't give him one iota more by dwelling on his sorry butt.