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Too shy to speak to handsome man face to face. PLEASE HELP.


sweetdarling

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I've never been this nervous around a man before.

 

As a requirement to one of my university classes we have to submit relevant things on Twitter to a course group. After my first post a classmate of mine followed me and we started tweeting each other daily. Despite our often lengthy conversations we have never spoke face to face. He tries to get my attention regularly and even calls me out on not seeing him. I always make a lame excuse. I even lost the opportunity to see him after hours after a book lecture thanks to my nerves. After he told me he waved but I didn't see him and he complimented my dress that night.

 

Today I took my time packing up my books hoping to speak with him and he ended up passing me, muttering "Hello, how are you?" and walking off before I could respond. This happened despite the fact we tweeted back and forth for 45 minutes last night.

 

I'm so frustrated. I can't tell if he's nice or interested. I can't even look this handsome man in eyes. There's a bit of an age gap but it doesn't bother me. How do I overcome this? I just want to know him.

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But in order to speak to him, first you have to be honest with yourself. You want more than to merely know him, unless you were using that word in the Biblical sense. Your shyness is a result of being afraid that he won't like you back. Or of everything involved if he does. You need to ask yourself what's the worst that could happen and if you could live with it if it does. He's just a guy. He poops and has issues with his parents and has problems and insecurities just like everyone else (including you). He's not some god who's stepped down from Mt. Olympus to torment you with his untouchable perfection.

 

If he didn't like you on some level, he wouldn't still be in contact with you on Twitter, he wouldn't be making an effort to wave etc. Just talk to him. If you don't give him some encouragement, eventually he's going to give up and try somewhere else. Whether he winds up being more than just a classmate, there is no guarantee. But it is pretty much guaranteed that he won't wait around for you forever. You already have a bunch of stuff you can talk to him about from what he's tweeted you.

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Good grief, keep it up and he's going to wonder if you think he has a horrible communicable disease!

 

Instead of worrying so much about how nervous you are - focus on how your skittishness must appear to him. He's at the very least gone out of his way to be nice - so try just some generally pleasant responses. He won't bite.

 

The worst he can do is not try to continue a conversation past the initial pleasant talk. Not the end of the world. And if you have an actual conversation in person - you might find yourself looking at him and not seeing his looks as so intimidating.

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My take on this is that he is interested in you, put you are putting him off by not appearing to be interested in him. His interest in you is waning due to your his perceived lack of interest in him. I think that you need to step out of your comfort zone and make some effort here. ......chi

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People don't pick up on shyness as much as they do on rudeness and rejection. Not that I think you're a rude person but imagine if it were the other way round. Chatting back and forth online yet he doesn't even make eye contact with you in real life? How rejected would you feel if that was happening?

 

I am quite a shy person in general and I tackle any issues I have by imagining how my actions come accross to others. My social anxiety seems to just melt away when I realise I may be coming accross as arrogant or rude. Even worse, when the person I care about is getting the impression that I don't give a hoot about him - just think of it like that.

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