Risky Business

[yamajii89]

yo hows everyone, ive posted a couple of threads here, for those who know me i already broke up with my ex GF finally.

 

 

anywhoo thats not what this post is about.

 

well you see a month ago i left the house to be independent, it wasnt a very good goodbye. at the very same time i met a girl who is in the same posision that i was, she imediatly trusted me and me to her as we agreed to walk the path together (2 heads are better than one) little did i know that time about her age she was 5 years younger than me, this wasnt a stopper tho, i found her very attractive still.

 

i then spent my time energy and money just trying to find ourself a safe place to sleep at night, i quickly got a job and a house good enough for the two of us, it took me atlease a month to achive it.

 

a little later on her grand parents cambe back from the US and that they said that she will take over her excile from here on.

I was happy ofcourse but sad at the same time its going to be a little lonley from here on.

 

 

 

i do like this girl very much and she knows so too since i told her, but responded that she dosent have any interest in me i was heartbroke and friendzoned (Loser)

 

we still went out on several dates after this, movies, games, clubs.

 

 

i have a problem coping because she would fell for a guy right away without any second thought, and the guys she fells for arnt that greate, i mean jobless almost homeless still in school boys.

compaired to my status, 2 course grad, has a stable high paid job etc has a nice house nice friends...

 

 

last night we went clubing about 3 guys picked her number up.

one of them wanted to have sex with her i was able to socialy overpower all of them though, but she really liked this other guy who is way too old for her and even for my age. they had a nice chat until the guy knew her age which i shal not mention.

 

that night he turned her down.

 

we talked about it and she started blaming me why.

we had a fight after the club and ended up in alot of confessions, i was crying she was crying.

the guy oddly enough invited her to come with him to another club leaving me uninvited, she didnt want to leave me alone so she invited me instead.

my response was you do what you want but dont come running to me if you get rape tonight, ( she is not sexualy ready ). ( also on a side note when she was 14 she got raped by her ex BF while drunk) thats why i brought it up.

 

so at this point i was ready to leave the club. and we had a good understanding on how we feel, we were in good tearms at this point.

 

she said what you want to do, but i threw the question backl.

i told her "thats she had choices" she can come back to the club by herself or i can take her home or she can hold my hand and come with me.

 

her respond was that she wanted to confirm something about that guy she really liked and would like to speak with him first. i just gave it to her at this point, i even aproched the guy meself.

so they spoke and tho i didnt ask my heed to her probably came to a realization to her, that he was just after her panties.

 

they said goodby and i walked away, she cought up with me later on. she didnt really held my hand but she took the 3rd option i gave her, so we went to another club and drank. no words were spoken, no one was around at the time already the sun was up by the time we reached the place.

oh and by the way, she made it clear that she only gave her number to those guys becasue she wanted to be friendly. and her intentions with them was just friends...

 

we drank and i took her home. still no words, it was raining hard too. ( another side note, this girl isnt too fond of touching but she is somewhat comftable with me in most places, but shrugs me off in odd places like her left sholder but not her right, and she dosent feel to comftable touching other people too even with me.)

 

when i woke up i find myself afraid that i just lost my friend, and i find myself missing her voice all the time.

 

it was also probably the last night i will ever see her again, no text message yet, worse of all my phone got reseted and my contacts are gone cant text her till tomorow when my bro comes and i can grab her number then.

[The Old Man]

Well, to start with, I am sorry that you are feeling these feelings for someone that is so young and unprepared to reciprocate them. The young lady sounds like a handful having already found herself outside of her family home and willing to move in with a relative stranger, some 5 years older than her, at an age that you don't feel comfortable mentioning. All of this is immaturity and unnecessary risk taking is indicative of a person who has little to no real experience with the real world or what kind of people she might run into in it. For you that means a lot of problems if you are, as you say, currently in a somewhat similar boat having left your own home before finding a proper place to as well.

 

A couple of red flags that you should not ignore here are the facts that

 

1. She opted to go live with her grandparents over staying with you.

2. Her guy selection is still based on something other than security.

 

There is nothing wrong with either of these things for a girl her age of course, but neither of them bode well when it comes to what you believe you have to offer.

 

I think that, if I were you, I would not focus so much on this one particular person but instead take this new time away from home to explore and learn about what else is out there. You can leave the option open for her for the time being, but my honest suggestion is that you find something else to do to get yourself over "missing" this person or feeling some kind of "loss" involving this person as soon as possible.

 

I'm not saying that she is going to do it on purpose, but if you stay on the course of thought that you are currently on, she is only going to hurt your feelings. Better to let her be her self and live her life while you get settled into your new place and readied for the next nice young lady you meet. There will be one, I promise. And, although I am not saying to "use" this girl, if you keep going to the bars and socializing (platonic ally) you will increase your chances of meeting that next one exponentially.

 

A wise fisherman, upon catching a fish that is too small to make a good meal, will either throw it back so that it has time to grow into something more substantial, or use it for bait.

 

If she is under the age of consent though, I would leave her alone completely because that is only going to get you in trouble of the real sort.

[yamajii89]

hey i followed your advise. she is no longer the center of my world and am seeing other girls but i am still extremly attracted to her tho and BTW she is 17 and will be 18 in about 4 months and im 23, so that aside..

 

the very next day she texted me and its been great for her and me, i spoke to her about that night and she said she discarded the guys who picked her up. and that i spoke to her while sober about me liking her, she said at first i only had 60% chance since there are 9 other guys courting her around 5 of which only courts her via text ( RED FLAG! but a good challange)

well this is just some stuff happening between me and her. i told her that day that i could give her what she wanted which was a long term relationship ( not to boast about it but most of my relationship lasts for years on, the longest being 7years so i knew this was my specialty) and her being my best friend she also knows this. she had a smile in her face when i told her this and said "ok you just been upgraded to 75%"

 

im currently just testing her if she can still be attracted to me without me spending less and less to her. we are still going out but just hanging out nothing too special.

 

currently i have other problems to face like money and work problems so she is like priority no. 3 for me and even then im seeing other girls that are at my age, her wit is just that we have a very strong history of hardship together so i think that makes me want to be with her more.

 

im going to take my time if she is just after my money then to the gallos with her hahahahah thanks The Old Man