Was she lying?

[Thorshammer]

Funny how quick you girls are to call a guy desperate and needy.

 

Yes... or, the other extreme... are players or are too careless (and this title still has a better shot than the needy ones, these are actually easier to fix). If you deal with someone who leans more toward emotional energies over logical, then you have to watch where you step. Most men are programmed to be logical, and to hold back their emotions. The faster you accept this, the more successful you will be.

 

Sorry i havent responded to your messages... ill add my bit.

 

Too much too soon. You need to adjust according to how you read her, pull back, push a bit... and make it all natural. Is this game...? Yes, but we all play games during dating, we call it by other names, and no matter how many times a poster says you have to be yourself, and not play games, they all do it in some way or another.

 

And setting things up for something special is too much, even if you just vocalized it to her only (which is a bigger mistake than actually setting it up). You put pressure on her, and its too much and you lose a bit of attraction from it (depending on what drives her to attraction, this behavior could be seen as needy- look, i dont know if you like me, so i am going to do this so you can like me). The girl im seeing, i can say that because shes feeding me how much she cares about me and wants it to work out, if i didnt get that- i would just meet up with her and focus on attracting her. If i were to do something special, its because i want to make her feel special, not for her to like me, there is no hidden intentions, its exactly as worded... i want you to feel special, there is no attempt of compensating for something here.

 

You need to lose that sensitive side, like i said, you drew the short straw, you are a man. Society unfortunately said that you are the hunter, you are right in the frontlines and you have to do more, and can get hurt, and you have to suck it up and deal with your wounds. I used to joke with my friend who was back in the dating world without a clue, i told him be a wolf... if a wolf is too scared to risk his life to attack and find food... then he will starve and die alone.

 

I remember the first girl i liked. I started dating late, so this one girl showered me with attention. I didnt find her physically attractive, but she gave me female attention, which i did have, but it was constant because she was my cousins girlfriends cousin- so she was around. One day we hung out, and she just kept flirting with me, i had nowhere to run or hide.. at one point... it felt nice. My cousin told me she likes me, and to go for it.... so i did, and i screwed it up. I would text her, "why are texting me so late, i texted you an hour ago?" I called her with my voice cracking because i was upset i had to wait a week to see her... she lost all interest, i will be blunt and cocky as hell, but i am way better looking than her, today she wouldnt get a second look (she actually wasnt pretty)... and this girl was chasing at me hard before i started acting this way...

 

It was a hard lesson learned. I remember i couldnt eat for a week after she told me she wasnt interested in me like that anymore, and the famous "you will find someone you like, it doesnt have to be me". Now, i reject women who are far more attractive than her today. I became the expert of fishing... where you pull just a bit to catch them, let some of it back in... wait... and adjust. My experience made my standards shoot all the way up to women that are 8 - 9 and 10s in the attractive scale.

 

And it didnt sink in right away. The next girl... same thing... at one point i became mad, i lasted longer with the next girl, she became my girlfriend- i was shocked because she was gorgeous... at one point the fake face i put on collapsed, right back to being that same guy, and she left. And on and on, it took maybe 3 years of that for me to get to the point that i feel i was a blackbelt.

[Ms Darcy]

I'm certainly not going to do anything else from now on and will leave it be but the reason why I kept pursuing was because I felt at the time she wasnt giving me cheap excuses and actually had legitimate reasons for being absent.

 

What would you have me do....play and act aloof like it was suggested to me just now? Thats the problem with most of you women. All I did was show her I was interestd in her. I didnt stalk her! I never called her but this one time! nor did I blow up her message box!

 

Funny how quick you girls are to call a guy desperate and needy.

 

What would you have me do? Leave it. If someone is not giving you what you want/acting in a way that makes you feel good, just keep it moving. Dating is about dating lots of people until you find someone you like who is also just as interested consistently, over a long period of time.