My thoughts on suicide and death...

[derPhilosoph]

I have been reading enotalone and several other forums for years now, but only recently decided to create an account to post. Before i post a few tidbits about my thoughts on suicide, below is some pertinent background info about me:

 

age: late 20s

education: graduate degree in engineering

lives in USA (but truly believes other nations such as Germany, UK, France, Japan do many things way better than USA does)

currently single and not dating (thus I have had the time to contemplate these topics on a deep level)

religion: atheist on most days, agnostic on good days (my mom forced me to go to church when i was much younger, but we stopped going when I was in high school and college due to being too busy)

Politics: leans liberal (voted for Kerry, Obama, Obama)

Interests: small animals (rodents), tropical fish

 

None of what I write below is original. I have read many articles and book excerpts on the meaning of life, suicide, etc. I have seriously contemplated suicide two times in the past 10 years. The only reason I did not commit suicide the 1st time was because I was concerned that a .22 caliber pistol shot to my head would not kill me, but would leave me paralyzed or alive, but incapacitated. As corny as it sounds, the 2nd time I did not follow through because I truly wanted to see who would win the 2012 US Presidential election and also if anything would happen on 21-Dec-2012.

 

My thoughts on suicide are as below:

 

- I do not believe it is as selfish an act as may be commonly believed. Only the person who contemplates it and commits it truly knows his/her own pain.

- The argument that the pain a suicidal person feels is only temporary and fleeting does not hold water. Furthermore, people telling someone that someone else always has it worse than you also does not mean much. I mean, let's be real about that statement... I truly believe that if humans wanted to eliminate poverty, hunger, and disease, that those things would have already been done by now if the will was truly there...

- I do not believe that a person who commits suicide is condemned to an eternity of suffering, in Hell, or wherever else. Rationally, one would have to prove to myself and others that Hell and/or Heaven exists. Furthermore, I do not believe too much in the possibility that the afterlife as envisioned by the world's major religions is true because of the mathematics and physics of the extraterrestrial life (see Michio Kaku).

 

- I truly believe that if you choose to end your own life, where you "go" will be no different than people who die "naturally" or unnaturally (i.e. by murder, etc.). The "place" that people go after death as well, to me, most likely seems to be like this: 1) the place would have to be a place where you don't have to see/feel/hear/ the people who have made your life a hell on this earth; 2) it can be whatever you want it to be (that seems like the only way for things to be true, since the worlds major religions are so contradictory and opposed to each people of other faiths); 3) One should not be scared if you consider the people who did not have a chance to live life in this 4 dimensional world --> What I means by this is all the children that died much too young (the 20 children killed din the Sandy Hook shooting for example); or all the helpless babies who were killed by evil parents. I truly believe that whatever hell there is, that it exists on this earth (due to many aspects of human nature).

 

That is all for now, more to come later. Feel free to share your thoughts about this "delicate" subject.

[solamente]

Well, for someone who doesn't believe in any kind of 'good' or 'bad' afterlife, you sure are going through a lot of thoughts trying to convince yourself of it. You will eventually find the answers for sure, if you are sincerely seeking the truth.

 

i agree with this:

- I do not believe it is as selfish an act as may be commonly believed. Only the person who contemplates it and commits it truly knows his/her own pain.

- The argument that the pain a suicidal person feels is only temporary and fleeting does not hold water. Furthermore, people telling someone that someone else always has it worse than you also does not mean much. I mean, let's be real about that statement... I truly believe that if humans wanted to eliminate poverty, hunger, and disease, that those things would have already been done by now if the will was truly there...

 

 

Everyone has pain in life. Sometimes it is less painful than others, but it never goes away. That is part of life. The only temporal thing about it is if you know for sure you aren't going into a painful afterlife. Then you can know that this pain is temporal, and will be over when you die.

 

If you do not endure to the end here, and 'cop out', will you then have to go through more pain on the other side because you didn't accept what you needed to accept here?

[Michele32]

I agree with the majority of this posting as well. Except for the whole after life guess because that's exactly what it is, a guess. No one exactly knows. I've always said and believed that this is hell on earth. Gosh, you sound like a male version of me Who knows exactly where people go after they kill themselves but if they were that desperate and could not find any resource to stop the excruciating pain, then suicide seems like the only reasonable option in my mind as well.

[sunshines]

Hell is where you are right now because no one is just that happy. Or maybe it is limbo.

[derPhilosoph]

Hell is where you are right now because no one is just that happy. Or maybe it is limbo.

 

I am reasonably happy for a number of reasons:

 

- I don't have any helpless young humans that i need to support

- I jerk off a lot

- I drink alcohol and smoke pot in moderation ( I mean let's be real about pot and other drugs: the 100 ton elephant in the room is obviously the death and destruction directly and indirectly caused by A-L-C-O-H-O-L, not pot and other drugs)

- I don't let work stress me out too much nor am I fixated on climbing some corporate ladder who rungs only get further apart as you go up and where there is oil applied to the rails to make one slip

- I truly believe a person can be good and have good intentions without necessarily having to be affiliated with any religion

- My role model for life is Henry David Thoreau

[WatsNext]

Anyone in NC that would like to meet and to join/ help with the courage to do this?

[iamkaylee]

What's going on there ready?

[WatsNext]

The man I'm in love with chopped off our relationship stating he didn't want anyone at work to know. I told him I was in love and he chooses to ignore any contact what so ever. I cry all day and go into work with baggy eyes. I eat a few chips or mini candy bar a day with water and I have become under weight in a matter of 3 weeks. Somedays I donot even eat or drink a sip of water. I have severe genetic bipolar and have seen counselors and 2 psychiatrist and been on over 10 medication combo's. My dad and grandmother have stated their wish to die to me. If I tell someone I am suicidal I will lose my job. People at work always start rumors about me sleeping around. I am attractive so when I talk or hang around any guy they assume automatically. My cat is 22 and will die soon, had her since 8.

[WatsNext]

I have held a gun to my head for hours at a time but can't pull the trigger I even started the car in my garage but wimped out. I need help to go through with it. I have the note already written.

[iamkaylee]

No one here is going to help you with this.

 

I am sorry you're going through so much. You don't really want to die, you want things to get better and the pain to stop. It can happen. It takes time and help. Are you willing?

[iamkaylee]

Hey y'all 1-800-273-8255.

 

Please go make a phone call. PLEASE.

[derPhilosoph]

If you do not endure to the end here, and 'cop out', will you then have to go through more pain on the other side because you didn't accept what you needed to accept here?

 

That is an interesting question. I would hope that the answer is no. Just think about all the people whose lives are hell here due to the sheer inertia of changing things for the better. I am referring to people such as gays, lesbians, transgendered, etc. or any other people that simply want to live like everyone else and not be discriminated against by the inertia of society.

 

I would hope that the universe, gods, alien overseers, etc. would not want someone to endure pain in another realm after their death in this world.

[derPhilosoph]

I think there are also 3-4 general reasons why I am reasonably happy. Before I post them, I want to make it clear that none of what write will be original. It seems like very few people today can claim to make original observations and judgements on the human condition that weren't already made by previous people. The great philosophers and thinkers from the ancient Greeks, Chinese, and Romans, to Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Russell, and the Russian greats have all made timeless contributions.

 

1) I stopped using facebook a few years ago. I started using from its beginning and for about 7 years after, but eventually got tired of the endless user interface and layout changes. Furthermore, I got tired of hearing all the mundane things in "friends'" lives and how the site was basically just a huge pissing contest. I was sick of the narcissism. What finally convinced me to try quitting it cold turkey was hearing from people younger than me that stopped using it - I didn't think it would be possible for the younger generation o not be totally hooked on it! A big plus is that if I run into someone I haven't seen in a long time, we will have things to talk about since we don't already know everything about each other from status updates!

 

2) I refuse to let family, friends, and society shame me into "manning up". After carefully reading several articles and forums, I agree with people that suggest that that phrase is a code for "grinding you down to extract maximum productivity out of you". Why work excessively hard to try to keep up with "getting ahead" (whatever that phrase means) or with the Joneses when it is becoming harder and harder to do so each day? You become ground down, while others become richer....Search for articles on the subject... people, especially old men, on their death beds usually regret having worked too much...

 

3) I refuse to let family, friends, and society shame me into long term relationships and marriage. It would be prudent for anyone considering marriage these days, whether they are male, female, transgendered, gay, straight, green, etc. to research some statistics on the subject.

 

4) I truly have accepted the limitations of one person trying to change things for the better. From my perspective, there is way too much inertia in place to make things a better world for many more people. If people really wanted to eliminate poverty, disease, and hunger, then it would have already been done by now. The solutions for any of those conditions do not require rocket science nor any technology that doesn't currently exist. I simply do my best each day to not make things worse.

[derPhilosoph]

Some may think that my attitude in the above post is negative and/or defeatist. However, I beg to differ in that regard. Imo, it is a realistic attitude that some who still have the rose colored glasses on may find difficult to recognize or accept. I don't consider myself to be bitter, mainly just indifferent.