Dougie_D Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I'm 32 years old. I think I am too hard on myself. I fell like I regret everything. I cry a lot actually. Never been with a girl. Never had sex, etc... I blame myself for a lot of things. I don't know how to be happy. I was born with bad hearing. I'm the last of my last NAME. I feel like I fail my father in EVERYTHING. Can't get a girl. Cant' live to his expectations. I had an ear operation (cost money) and ortho (cost money) to "fix" me. I'm better off than I was as a child but I'm still not "perfect" as you would think. When I was 3 years old I honestly wanted to killl myself. I've always felt like a failure. I think I'm actually TOO smart when it comes to reading people. I know what they want and don't want. People have said "go to therapist" to figure out your root problem...well, I think this is my root problem. I'm so lost in life. help? Link to comment
simplexity Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 awww, don't be so hard on yourself, have you experienced liking another girl at least? Link to comment
elsenyor Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 You are being too hard on yourself, regarding bad hearing my cousin is deaf in both ears, he has ear pieces in both and has a hard time hearing, especially over the phone. Recently he got something to help him out, I think he's in his late 30's or early 40's (not exactly sure). He's also extremely smart like you are, and has suffered a lot growing up. He was able to find a beautiful wife who respects him very much and is extremely happy, I admire him and look up to him even though he didn't get to go to the university. Despite all he's gone through he has and keeps pushing forward. (His brother also committed suicide a few years ago), There is hope, seeing a therapist may definitely help you out. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Dougie, none of your physical issues make you imperfect. That's some sick idea that your parents have put on you. But reading your threads: I think I'm actually TOO smart when it comes to reading people. I know what they want and don't want. I think you're way off on this. I think you have a hard time figuring people out, at least when it comes to girls. Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 Dougie, none of your physical issues make you imperfect. That's some sick idea that your parents have put on you. But reading your threads: I think you're way off on this. I think you have a hard time figuring people out, at least when it comes to girls. I meant I understand people's intentions regarding our relationship. I know when people take advantage of me, and I just play their game or go with the flow. Maybe I miss cues with girls, but I'd say I'm on point when I know they have no desire to be involved with me. I feel like "why am I putting myself in this situation when I already know the outcome?" But I always HOPE for a different outcome. Rejection after rejection doesn't help after awhile. Link to comment
elsenyor Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I meant I understand people's intentions regarding our relationship. I know when people take advantage of me, and I just play their game or go with the flow. Maybe I miss cues with girls, but I'd say I'm on point when I know they have no desire to be involved with me. I feel like "why am I putting myself in this situation when I already know the outcome?" But I always HOPE for a different outcome. Rejection after rejection doesn't help after awhile. then it's likely the approach you're taking. you said it yourself you HOPE for a different outcome but you're probably doing the same thing over and over, and you know what they say "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." i suggest looking at this website link removed reading up and watching all the videos on attraction / getting a girlfriend, etc etc. Also read his ebook tons of good advice with personal anecdotes. (It's all free) Link to comment
simplexity Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Dougie , i'll just ask you a simple question .. if you are not Dougie and you are the opposite sex , would you want to date yourself? would you want someone who think low of himself? Just think of any characteristics that you would want the opposite sex despite having "your current imperfections". We are all imperfect. What is handsome / beautiful to one person is different to another.. when we fall for someone or when we enter to a relationship with another person , in the long run , these things won't really matter much, you know what is? it's your personality and what you can bring out of the relationship.. you have to learn to love yourself first because u won't be able to give someone something you don't have. You have to believe in yourself and know that you're more than good enough and worth every love of another person jsut like everybody else because your imperfections is what makes us unique from the rest... WE can't choose who we fall for , that I am sure so no matter how people love the idea of getting attracted with someone who physically look perfect , in the long run they know deep within that it's not what really on top of the reasons why they fell . You've got to develop your strengths , what are you good at? what do you think you can offer in a relationship.. you've got to focus on those and work on try to turn your weakness into strengths . I wish you you all the best and hopefully you feel better soon Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 I'm good at being in the "FRIENDZONE". When it comes to an emotional relationship, I can definitely be there. I'm that guy that can cheer people up. The one thing that hurts me, especially with women, is that I am not the "touchy" type. And that goes back to my childhood. Girls use to make fun of me as well. "Coodies!" they would say. "Ugh!" get away from me!" and I wasn't even close to them! I had never HUGGED a girl until I was 16 years old. It's not that I didn't want to, it was because girls never really allowed me to. And even now, I have heard my friends say that I need to hug better. I've always just put my arms around them but not like a body to body hug, if that makes sense. Lately, I've been trying to get better and I feel like I have. I really want to be more physical with a girl. I don't know how to be more physical? Any suggestions?? Also, not all the time though, I feel strange whenever a girl touches me and I don't expect it. I love it! But I feel like I'm not worthy of her touch... if that makes sense? Has anyone seen that movie Lars and the Box? I'm not as extreme as that character, but I feel like I can relate to him. Link to comment
simplexity Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 you want to get physical with a girl? what do you mean exactly by physical? Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 you want to get physical with a girl? what do you mean exactly by physical? Well, first I'd like to kiss a girl. I'd like to have sex. Maybe put my hand on her thigh, get the chance to feel a girl up? I've been to strip clubs where girls have let me touch them, but that's because I pay for it. Also, I'd like a girl to want to do those same things to me. Being seductive, etc.. I really just want some sort of physical relationship. Just talking to a girl would get on my nerves. That's what these girls just want out of me and it depresses me. I hate being the guy they just yap their feelings to. It makes me feel like that's all I'm worth to women. I really want to know that some girl can I actually find me attractive and "want me". The fact that I've never heard anyone tell me I'm attractive or cute hurts me. Just saying "you're nice" is OVERRATED. Link to comment
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