the whirlwind

[Juliette ne pas]

I feel as if I'm in the eye of the storm, the winds circling at seemingly terminal velocity. Objects coming out of no where seem to coming directly at me, only to be held back by an unseen force. Yet, emotionally these things are leaving me traumatized.I feel I have no control of anything, I can only stand back and watch as things and people collide. I cry out warnings but I can't be seen or heard above the winds. What happened to cause this, why have things hurtled completely out of control, when did I lose control. All I wanted was to protect my own, to protect myself, to speak the truth, to defend myself, and all heck broke loose. No one believes me, I don't know if I believe myself anymore. Things are to cloudy, I can't think straight, did it happen or is it a figment of my imagination. My children say it did, I vaguely remember the situation. I if I stick with what I believe to be true, then the effects on myself and my children will be catastrophic. I am damned if I do damned if I don't. No matter what I am reaping the whirlwind.