So confused.

[oitnb]

I don't know what to believe. I'm trying to think rationally here and not let my emotional side take over, but it's hard.

 

Two condoms went missing, I confronted him, he said he tried masturbating with them. I said I didn't believe him and it sounds like a load of bs, he said "go look in the bathroom trash can if you don't believe me!" I looked, and there they were.

 

He said he heard its less messy and a lot less friction with them, so that's why he gave it a try. When he got them he jokingly mentioned using them for it, but I didn't think he was being serious. I'm not even sure if this belongs in infidelity. I don't know what to think.

[mhowe]

I think you are now actively sabatoging your relationship. You are literally making stuff up, checking on everything and when he tells you the truth --- you call him a liar.

 

Start the timer....the expiration date in not far off.

[oitnb]

I think you are now actively sabatoging your relationship. You are literally making stuff up, checking on everything and when he tells you the truth --- you call him a liar.

 

Start the timer....the expiration date in not far off.

 

Two condoms going missing is making stuff up? He HATES condoms, I can't rationally believe he'd enjoy masturbating with one on...

[mhowe]

Your other post talked of you finding them in his pocket because he picked them up as a janitor in some office.

And one got left in his pants pocket.

So ---- two are missing -- and yet they are in the bathroom waste basket.

 

What --- you think he brought a woman home and had sex in your apt?

 

There is zero trust in your relationship.

[oitnb]

Your other post talked of you finding them in his pocket because he picked them up as a janitor in some office.

And one got left in his pants pocket.

So ---- two are missing -- and yet they are in the bathroom waste basket.

 

What --- you think he brought a woman home and had sex in your apt?

 

There is zero trust in your relationship.

 

I hate to say it, but it'd certainly be possible. We have very different work schedules.

[mhowe]

Why are you with him?

[kitkat620]

Did this distrust start with him bringing the condoms home, or is it something you have been feeling for awhile? And if so, what brought it on?

[SeattleSigh]

This is something guys try at one point or another for just the reasons he stated--lube and clean up. Of course, that doesn't mean I have any idea as to whether you or him are right, although I think he's probably telling the truth. Regardless, this should be a warning sign for you two that you need to work on trust and communication. It's a death knell for the end of your relationship otherwise. I wish you all the best.

[oitnb]

Why are you with him?

 

Because besides this condom thing, he's stuck by me through so much s*** that no other 20 year old boy would. Because he brings the best out in me and pushes me to do my best. Many reasons. I'm very confused right now

[oitnb]

Did this distrust start with him bringing the condoms home, or is it something you have been feeling for awhile? And if so, what brought it on?

 

Just with these frickin condoms. When he goes somewhere, I believe he's going where he says. When he's texting someone, I believe he's texting who he says he is. When works going overtime, I believe him. These condom incidents have just thrown me for a loop!

[oitnb]

This is something guys try at one point or another for just the reasons he stated--lube and clean up. Of course, that doesn't mean I have any idea as to whether you or him are right, although I think he's probably telling the truth. Regardless, this should be a warning sign for you two that you need to work on trust and communication. It's a death knell for the end of your relationship otherwise. I wish you all the best.

 

Yeah, if it is true that that's what he used them for, I wish he would've just seriously told me from the jump. Instead of jokingly mentioning it in passing, and leaving me to freak out when there gone.

[mhowe]

I hate to say it, but it'd certainly be possible. We have very different work schedules.

 

Yeah --- the guy who has stuck with you thru your mother stealing the rent money brought a woman home to have sex with in your apartment because he couldn't afford a hotel....and left the used condoms in the bathroom wastebasket because he has the intelligence of a small squirrel.

 

I think the better question is... why is he with you?

[oitnb]

Yeah --- the guy who has stuck with you thru your mother stealing the rent money brought a woman home to have sex with in your apartment because he couldn't afford a hotel....and left the used condoms in the bathroom wastebasket because he has the intelligence of a small squirrel.

 

I think the better question is... why is he with you?

 

Well then. That was harsh. I've never been a questioning or nosy girlfriend, expect for this condom thing.

[mhowe]

"Except for this condom thing"???????

 

You are questioning whether or not he is faithful. You blatantly don't trust him.

If he wanted to hide the condoms, either the night he brought them home --- or today, he could have.

And you post "well, he could have ---- we work different schedules".

 

Wow.

[oitnb]

"Except for this condom thing"???????

 

You are questioning whether or not he is faithful. You blatantly don't trust him.

If he wanted to hide the condoms, either the night he brought them home --- or today, he could have.

And you post "well, he could have ---- we work different schedules".

 

Wow.

 

I'm not saying whether he did or didn't, all I was saying is LOGICALLY it is possible that he could have had sex at the apartment. As I've said multiple times, I'm very confused.

[mhowe]

And from that it can be inferred that your relationship is not built on trust.

And a relationship that does not have trust as its foundation will crumble.

[mg22]

Only you can figure this out ! if you don't trust him and you feel he's lying, cheating or whatever then trust your instintcs, never fails !!

[Lambert]

You listed all the reasons he is great and then had one thing, that you don't really understand (as I woman I have no idea how or why men masterbate as much as the do. Haha) and you say you are confused?

 

What happen to benefit of the doubt?

And since when does a person have to confess or clear masterbating with their SO?

 

You seem offended that people are taking up your bf's defense... But frankly, I think he should be pissed you made such a big deal of it. Checking the garbage for used condoms? Eww. If he says he was experimenting, then you either believe him or you don't.

[oitnb]

You listed all the reasons he is great and then had one thing, that you don't really understand (as I woman I have no idea how or why men masterbate as much as the do. Haha) and you say you are confused?

 

What happen to benefit of the doubt?

And since when does a person have to confess or clear masterbating with their SO?

 

You seem offended that people are taking up your bf's defense... But frankly, I think he should be pissed you made such a big deal of it. Checking the garbage for used condoms? Eww. If he says he was experimenting, then you either believe him or you don't.

 

I'm not upset people are coming to his defense. It's just when people say well harsh things "why is he with you" it's slightly offensive. And I didn't dig through trash, they were right on top.

 

Edit: and I don't expect him to "clear" masturbating with me. But, when he randomly brings home condoms and we don't use condoms, and they go missing, I'd like him to tell me upfront instead of well hiding it kinda and leaving me to freak out.

[mhowe]

He told you what he was going to do with them. You decided it was a joke.

I doubt he thinks you count the condoms every day when you get home from work.

However, when you called him out on the missing condoms, he told you where they were. Right on top.

 

Was he supposed to say: 'Hi hon, how was your day. I masturbated while you were gone and used 2 condoms".

[oitnb]

He told you what he was going to do with them. You decided it was a joke.

I doubt he thinks you count the condoms every day when you get home from work.

However, when you called him out on the missing condoms, he told you where they were. Right on top.

 

Was he supposed to say: 'Hi hon, how was your day. I masturbated while you were gone and used 2 condoms".

 

He was laughing and joking when he said it, geez. No I'd rather a serious "you know what I actually might give it a try one day, so don't freak out if you notice there gone."

[kitkat620]

I'm sorry but there has got to be more to this.

 

You say you trust him and believe him to be honest in whatever he tells you, then why the distrust now?

 

My ex husband was a cheater and any trust I had was abolished very early on, so, if he brought condoms home (we didn't use them either) I would definitely KNOW something was up (no pun intended). Do you see where I'm coming from?

[oitnb]

I'm sorry but there has got to be more to this.

 

You say you trust him and believe him to be honest in whatever he tells you, then why the distrust now?

 

My ex husband was a cheater and any trust I had was abolished very early on, so, if he brought condoms home (we didn't use them either) I would definitely KNOW something was up (no pun intended). Do you see where I'm coming from?

 

Yeah. You're saying if I automatically distrust him when something like this happens, my gut must be trying to tell me something?

[oitnb]

I just don't know guys. One minute I believe this story and the next I don't. I understand its partly on me for not having enough trust in him, but idk.

[superfan]

He was laughing and joking when he said it, geez. No I'd rather a serious "you know what I actually might give it a try one day, so don't freak out if you notice there gone."

 

Maybe he was being "jokey" about it because he was EMBARRASSED that he was buying condoms for the purpose of masturbating in them. For some guys, admitting to stuff like that is hard and he could have been afraid you would be angry that he still felt the desire to masturbate (some women feel that if men are in a relationship they no longer "need" to), and/or he could have felt you might think he was weird for wanting to use a condom. Making it into a joke meant that hopefully you would just forget about it.

 

You didn't, because you obviously have issues trusting him. I am not part of your relationship so I can't speak to whether those issues were justified or not. I will say that if this is the only "evidence" against him you have found, then it is pretty weak. He TOLD you (however he did so, he told you) what he planned to use them for and lo and behold, when you asked, they were there in the garbage. If I were him, I would be pretty humiliated and definitely would not be willing to admit to anything in the future like that.

 

Honestly if that is ALL you are going on, then you owe him an apology and need to ask yourself where these trust issues are coming from.