I just want to talk to you. I need you guys!

[TopFive]

How is everyone?! I'm back on here once again to tell you a little about my love life. For starters, if your new, I'm TopFive. I came on here last year this time because i was hurt over a BU and i broke NC and went crazy after i got a very cold response. It's been a year now and im somewhat at peace with that situation, but i have constant flashbacks and i see that ex all the time. She's no longer with the dude she instantly replaced me with and i see him all the time as well. He and I are actually cool (I know it's weird).

 

But anyway! That girl isnt the one i want to vent about. After a few months of pain and torture out in Oklahoma, i turned to a dating site where i met my current ex. Ijust wanted to plant some seeds for when i returned home. Her and i hit it off really well even though she is four years older than me. She admired the fact that i am big, black and educated. She also understood that i was just comin home and that id be broke for awhile. I would spend every weekend with her for a few months. When she started having financial and family issues, she began to resent me and thats where the problem began.

 

I cut her off a couple times, but i went right back to her. I knew we werent compatible, but who am i to turn down a guaranteed lay? I slowly began to dislike her because she would always lash out on me, about not having things together. It was bad enough that i hted my situation, i didnt need some crazy chick pointin out my problems.

 

So to make a long story short, even though i stopped likin this girl, we continued to have sex and she got pregnant. You can criticize me all you want, but we decided not to keep it. No child should ne brought into the world by parents who cant afford it and don't love eachother. She began going crazy on me and telling me that she hates me. Everyday! My birthday was the last straw. She kept texting me talking about how i didnt wanna chill with her on my birthday. Pretty much making everything about her. I had been drinking and said that i was coming over. She said that i shouldnt be driving and that if anything happened to me its not on her. So when i got to her house, she didnt answer the door. What made me a little upset was the fact that she lives 30 minutes away. I told her to lose my number and i havent been in contact with her since.

 

People! People! My last two girlfriends have really messed me up. I think about both of them. I think about all the good times i had with them before things went sour. I know that its best that im away from them, but i cant help but think of them all the time. I'm gonna stay single for a long time so i can get my body together, finish this screenplay and just enjoy life. I just pray for two things: That i never think about the first ex again and to live better than both of them.

 

IDK people. I'm just venting.

[Lorem Ipsum]

I knew we werent compatible, but who am i to turn down a guaranteed lay? I slowly began to dislike her because she would always lash out on me, about not having things together. It was bad enough that i hted my situation, i didnt need some crazy chick pointin out my problems.

Dude. So you're shocked that a woman you weren't compatible with, that you were only using for sex, wasn't happy with that situation? She wasn't crazy, she was unhappy, being treated badly by you, it's no wonder she acted out. Although she shares some of the blame, she should have dumped your butt when she realised she wasn't happy/was being used for sex, instead of hoping you would change back to the guy you were when you first started dating.

 

Who you could have been was someone honest, decent and upstanding, aside from being "big, black and educated". Someone who has enough self respect and enough compassion for others that when he knows the relationship isn't going anywhere, pulls the plug on it. Someone who knows when things are going badly in his life, he needs to deal with his own problems and get his crap together, rather than using some woman to boost his ego (while damaging hers).

 

Honestly, you need to take a break from dating.

[TopFive]

Aww man. You don't know me so you wouldn't understand. I qasnt bad to her at all. She really had issues in her life and needed someone more on her level. I noticed that a long time ago and distanxed myseldf but she kept pouring her heart to me and I fell for it each time. I should have wordes it differently.

 

But I am taking a break from dating. I have no interest in being with anyone.

[QWit]

Aww man. You don't know me so you wouldn't understand. I qasnt bad to her at all. She really had issues in her life and needed someone more on her level. I noticed that a long time ago and distanxed myseldf but she kept pouring her heart to me and I fell for it each time. I should have wordes it differently.

 

But I am taking a break from dating. I have no interest in being with anyone.

 

I'm going to assume that you were typing from your cell or something because all those misspelled words are unbecoming of a man that is "big, black, and educated".. Anyways, both of you were in the wrong.. You decided to stay with a woman you weren't compatible with because she was a "guaranteed lay".. Yes, people in this forum don't know you, but you placed your story in here. Sometimes the responses will come with criticism.. The fact of the matter is, you should have left that woman alone and not use her as a sex toy.. Oh, she has some responsibility for the situation as well..So sad, she didn't have enough self-respect to see that you were leading her on.. You are guilty of using that woman and disrespecting her.. Honestly, you do need to take a break from dating and figure out what it is you really want and to work on yourself.. You say this chick messed you up, but over half of that mess was your doing.. You could have been a more respectable man and let this relationship go instead of thinking with your "johnson"..

[metrogirl]

I really think the first girl jaded you so the next relationship was doomed from the start. Sure she may have had issues, *note to yourself* don't date chicks with issues. The pregnancy thing, come on. First things first, you didn't want a kid so let's protect ourselves. Second thing, if you aren't protecting yourself, you are exposing yourself to god knows how many STD's from said crazy chick.

 

I'm not her to bash but to tell you like it is. Think smart, be smart. Don't get mixed up with girls simply for an easy lay unless you are prepared to deal with a boat load of drama after the fact.

[TopFive]

I really think the first girl jaded you so the next relationship was doomed from the start. Sure she may have had issues, *note to yourself* don't date chicks with issues. The pregnancy thing, come on. First things first, you didn't want a kid so let's protect ourselves. Second thing, if you aren't protecting yourself, you are exposing yourself to god knows how many STD's from said crazy chick.

 

I'm not her to bash but to tell you like it is. Think smart, be smart. Don't get mixed up with girls simply for an easy lay unless you are prepared to deal with a boat load of drama after the fact.

 

And as usual, you are absolutely correct. I've had time to reflect on my life and what has happened in the past year. I truly believe that I stayed with both of these girls because i was insecure about myself. I put up with a lot of things from both of them tht i know i wouldnt have put up with a few years ago. I'm truly going to focus on myself. I feel that me sticking to a diet and working out will finally give me the confidence that I have lost due to what happened last year.

 

I sometimes miss what we had, but I'm glad the most recent girl hasn't contacted me. She would always call me over to have sex with her and I would go running each time. I don't care if i dont have sex for a whole year. I just want to get my body and mind right so i can fully pursue an entertainment career and get my confidence back. Sometimes i wish i had never gotte into the dating world. I have so much more important things to worry about.