tough choice - advise me please

[69_king]

OK, I'm 25, living in Vermont USA and I haven't had a real girlfriend since I was 20, actually I haven't had any kind of gf since then. My problem is I'm good-looking, intelligent, classy, honest, pleasant, the list goes on and on but I'm a little shy. So my problem is I've been (unwillingly) searching for "The Perfect Girl" (at least perfect for me which is quite different from what you might imagine) And it doesn't help that my mother and her friends keep saying I should be a model and how fabulous I am and all this crap. They are exagerating anyway but still that sticks in my mind and I feel like I could have any girl I wanted, but thats not the way I really am. The girl's I like are quite different from what most guys like, I don't like thin girls for example and I like interesting, intellectual girls. Anyway, for the last 5 years I have not met a single girl that "fits" who I am looking for. I have "noticed" a few girls who I would have liked to ask out but I was too shy and never got the chance (I have only ever gone out with girls that have asked me)

Finally I decided that this is ridiculous and yesterday I asked a girl out who I had just met last week. She's very nice and I like her (not perfect but I don't care about that anymore) and we are going out next week (hopefully ) Oh yeah, I had to get myself drunk to build up the courage to phone her! One of the reasons I am so reluctant to ask girls out is that I am so scared that I might have to hurt them one day by ending our relationship. I think I respect them too much, you know? That's why I have always hoped to find the the girl who I know is "the one" and I would never want to break up with her. But how do you know what the girl is like unless you go out with her?

 

Ok, I'm dragging on too far here. This is my problem:

 

I asked that girl out right? Then today I find out that a friend that I ski with (he's about 35 or something) is having his 23 year old niece visiting from England in about 6 weeks and we are going to be skiing together and stuff. Now, I have a thing for English girls, and I'm afraid that I might like her more than this girl I just asked out. So, do I :

 

1. go out with the first girl and pursue that normally regardless of this new information and try to avoid the english girl when she comes or hope she doesn't like me?

 

2. go out with the first girl and break up with her (If I can bring myself to) if I find I can't avoid hitting it off with the other girl.

 

3. try to avoid getting involved with the first girl and hope that I hit it off with the english girl even though she will be going back to England and we will have to have an email relationship. (which I had with my last girlfriend 5 years ago who was also living in England and which we ended peacefully)

 

4. go out with both girls secretly if it works out that way LOL

 

OK, I am NOT doing #4, I think my best plan would be #1 considering that I know nothing about the english girl. And I really do like the first girl. But I just know this english girl is going to be amazing, that's just my luck, you know, you would think I'm lucky to have these choices well, I'll tell, its really stressing me out!

[Beachgirl11]

69_king

 

I'm a female and I think it's totally fine if you go out with both of them. It doesn't sound like you have done much dating lately, and that's all it is......a first date in both cases. You're never going to know who is right for you unless you spend a little time with them. I say quit worrying so much about having to end something with one of them. I should hope that they would not be expecting to marry you after one date. You're over-analyzing the situation and what the possible outcomes could be, and are too concerned about future "what-ifs" (I don't mean to be disrespecting you because you seem to have some sensitivity and I'm guilty about over-analyzing things and projecting into the future too much myself). Just go out with both of them, have fun, and be yourself!

[69_king]

Hey! You're right, I'm overanalyzing it! It might be because I have a degree in Computer Science and when making a good program you must analyze every possible scenario to its end, no matter how unlikely it may be. Some of the scenarios I have been imagining with my little problem are hugely unlikely. But life is not a computer program. (actually life is f*#@ed up) I'm not going to worry about the future so much, I'm just going to have fun and let it happen. Things never work out the way you imagine them anyway, so don't even try. Thanks

[WhatInThe]

i'm like exactly the same as you are when it comes to girls i just keep thinking about all the possible things that can happen that i just end up with a head ache

 

anyways i agree with beachgirl i think you should go out with both of them and see which one you like better. you should also pay attention to the girl that seems to like you better. if one of the girls dosn't seem that interested in you then you should pick the other girl.

 

good luck