Please rate these two poems: Fear and Mr. Lucky

[Alabama]

Fear

 

Do not come closer

For it shall come

A fear not seen

But one know for it has been

 

Long has it slumbered

In it's tireless wake

Feeding of the weak

Like eating a steak

 

It is darkness all around

Evil in its wake

Nothing can stop it

For it is invincible I take

 

As I see it coming

I tremble in fear

A loud noise is heard

One I do not wish to repeat

 

A bang is sounded

I am hit to the ground

The fear steps out

I look with not knowing how things will turn out

 

It steps in front of me

Waiting to see

If I am hurt

So it can feast on me

 

Then I close my eyes

And the world goes away

My life was pointless as a deer

As the hunter drives away…

 

and

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Today was a fine day indeed

I found 20 dollars on the street

Got a kiss from a girl who I did just meet

Because I'm Mr. Lucky

 

I got a promotion at my job

I won a car, a Viper, sweet!

Didn't get wet in the rain as I walked and talked

Because I'm Mr. Lucky

 

I got an A on my test

I made new friends, it's the best!

Won free tickets to a show!

Because I'm Mr. Lucky

 

Didn't picked on by the bullies

Got more scoops of ice cream by a man named Louie

I was given brand new clothes

Because I'm Mr. Lucky

 

I went to an expensive college one day

I applied and new I'd get in, while people would say: hoorah!

Yet I didn't get in and was sad

Because I'm not Mr. Lucky

 

Please tell me what you think!

[CarterJonas]

Two good poems, at the either end of the scale. If I could choose my outlook, I'd definitely be the latter.

[lost_666]

wow! they are really good! i started writting poetry but am to shy to show any1! but you definitly have potential there! they are amazing, i especially like the 1st one (fear) tho!

[troublegal05]

Wow i thought your poems were great...My favorite one was Mr. Lucky I can really relate to that.... 8)

[_Lissa_]

awsome poems! =)