Sweetiepie346 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 This may be long but will try to keep it short as possible. I'm 18, he's 34, yes unwise I know. He was my first serious, and intimate partner. From the start he was there to support me and guide me and I never felt used. We were together for 6 months. However, I had a lot of agro and loss of respect from friends and family due to the age difference. I fought through it but it was very hard! Also, we were long distance, so only saw each other once every two weeks. At the start he would call me everyday and we would talk and talk, at one point we even thought we were soul mates. When we were together we would go out an be very happy together. We also texted all day everyday. Then I became insecure and wary. He had his dating account site hacked and I found out about it, I was very confused but I trusted him. Then a couple of months later he had the pof app on his phone, he claimed it was dead so I had to trust again but obviously doubt was in my mind. This made me feel insecure when he was out at the pub and the like, so sometimes it did cause arguments. He dumped me on the morning of my first a level exam by text because I was not happy that another woman had asked him to go to a wedding with her, and he had accepted. I was heartbroken and went into the exam with tears in my eyes. I was very angry for what he did and a week later I discovered he was back on dating sites looking for friends with benefits! I couldn't believe it! Initially he said he wanted to remain friends with me and that he would always care for me, but I couldn't do it. He then turned to hate me, and wrote viscious Facebook statuses about me. I have apologised numerous times for being a to him after the break up but he still considers me a nutter. He was my first guy, so I feel very much in love with him and I don't want him to hate me. I've asked for my belongings back with no reply so I then asked for them to be thrown in the bin, still no reply! What can I do to get over this love I have and move onto someone who respects me? I have so much to say to him as I feel I never got any closure after the breakup. Also, a day after the break up he was tagged in photos where he looked extremely happy. Did he ever even care? Link to comment
elle12 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 This looks like a case for No Contact. You could try writing down everything you want to say to him, but don't send it to him. I don't think this guy deserves to hear from you anymore. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 No he did t care. He used you....he was with other women all along and you naively believed him. You.get over him by counting all the lies he told you. Link to comment
JJ2980 Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Sorry sweetie but this callous 34 year old was using you for his own dubious purposes. I am so sorry this was your first experience. I wish you'd met someone with better moral fibre or at least someone who doesn't treat people's feelings as if they're dispensable. You will move on from this horrible experience one day and you'll realise he wasn't all the agony you currently feel. It just takes time Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 An age gap like this isn't necessarily unwise - it depends on the two people involved. I have a friend in her mid 40's, who has been happily married for years to a guy she met when she was 18, and he was 36. However, the actions of your ex-partner seem more appropriate to a teenager than to someone you could reasonably expect to have a degree of maturity. There will come a time when you look back on all this and wonder what on earth you ever saw in him. You can also console yourself with the fact that although you might be on a level at the moment, you'd have left him behind mentally and emotionally as you grew up! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 No he did t care. He used you....he was with other women all along and you naively believed him. You.get over him by counting all the lies he told you. Amen. He was definitely cheating on you. I do think he took advantage of your trust and I hope in time you see this. Link to comment
Kendahke Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Get closure by writing out everything you want to say to him and then destroying the document. He's not going to give you an audience, so you need to wrap it up, emotionally, the best way you can. You can't force him to listen to you. It would appear that he has moved on, so you should, too. Link to comment
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