I finally have my closure

[gotexans12]

This last few months haven't been very nice to me. My aunt pass away, my dog pass away, my friends moving soon to medical and dental school, my girlfriend broke up with me. Soon my brother is moving out as well. He has been around all my life. Now he is moving out with his fiance which I'm happy for him. It proves to me that true love does exist. He broke up with her and went out with another girl. She fought for his love and they are back together and are buying a house and getting married in cancun soon.

 

My life ; however, has been terrible. I was already struggling at the beginning of the semester with my classes. I was able to pull my grades up. What really suck was that when she was sick I stay around to see if she's ok. I was failing my classes at the time. I stuck around till 9 or 10 pm before I went home. I chose to stay around instead of going home and studying since it was 2 days before the exam. When I was sick she never really cared. When her a/c broke down I offer her to stay over my place when we first knew each other. Now my car broke down today I texted her if she could pick up my mom because it's hot outside. I stay in Houston. She didn't say no. What was even worse was that she told me her boyfriend wasn't comfortable with me texting and calling her all the time please stop. I know we had our differences but my parents love her. My mom would cook for her all the time and give her stuff. My mom knew my ex mom didnt stay with her and that her stop mom doesn't really get along with her so my mom took her in as her own daughter.

 

Now I don't have a lot of money but I spent my last dime on her. I didn't even go to a trip with my friend because I wanted to save the money to take her out to a really nice place. I don't have much but I did everything for her. In the end she told me it were all materialistic things. I got really mad because I sometime bought her stuff that I could of use it on other important things for me. I just love her so much. I wrote her letters, songs, drew pictures for her. I just got really pissed at what she told me so I told her to give me everything back so I could give it to good will. If it were all materialistic things then I will give it to other people that are more appreciative. I mean I did everything for this girl.

 

Towards the end I just got really frustrated by the breakup that I told her I didn't care anymore, I'm much happier now, that my sister in law is already trying to hook me up with her friends. I tend to say things that I don't mean in the heat of the argument. I was just so mad at my ex for the break up over something so trivial.

 

This last month in a half I was reading this forum. The sole purpose why I found out about this forum and join. First I was begging and wanting her back. Then it got to the anger stage. I blame myself for the break up. Until now I prayed that one day she will forgive me for what I said and that she will come back. I also prayed that she will find a job soon. We graduated from nursing school. I always thought about her. My first true love. Im 28 btw. I've been with other people before but I felt so much different with her. I really thought it was my fault. I felt so bad and even wrote her a letter. I didn't finish it because I wanted to put a lot of thoughts into it. I guess this letter is just for me to read now or people on here not for her anymore.

 

Today I finally have my closure. I feel mad, sad, and kind of happy now. I never thought she would moved on so fast. No wonder she hasn't texted or called. The thing that got me really mad was that she told me her boyfriend wasn't comfortable with that. When I was with her I use to tell her that when other guys or her ex texted her or called her. I used to be mad when she still had pictures of her boyfriend up on facebook. I know its trivial thing over facebook, but it were pictures of them kissing in one of them. I just didn't feel comfy with that. However, she is barley with him 3 weeks maybe.... or perhaps she has been talkign to him the whole time when she was with me that is why she found someone else that fast. Anyways she took all my pictures down when I have been tryign to tell her this for the last 6 months of her old ex picture.

 

I don't know if she cheated on me. I don't want to believe it because I told her I was really hurt in my last relationship from my other ex cheating on me.

 

What I learn from this relationship

 

1) If there are red flags stay away from that person. (She told me when we first knew each other she never been single for more than 24 hours. Both of her rebounds lasted 2 and 5 years with her. When she was in the car with me her ex call her. I told her why she didn't picked it up. Even if two people break up, if you are with someone for 5 years then you should still have some feelings for that person. What if he needed some help with something.. She told me all of her ex were a--holes. She only mention one thing that was good from both of them. She was with one of them for 2 years and one for 5 years in fact. How can you only say one good thing about that person through that time. She also was able to replace them with another person the next day. She is probably telling things about me to the other guys.

 

2) Don't ever show texts to family members. She showed her family members my texts when I was arguing with her. I tend to say things I don't meant when I'm in the heat of the argument.

 

3) I should stick with my decisions. Before we went out I told her that we are not compatible and that things wouldn't work out. SHe would cried and make me feel bad. I'm a very caring and compassionate person. I don't want any people to feel bad. Every time that I don't agree with her on something she would cry. It's like she is using that against me knowing that everytime she cries I would be there for her.

 

4) I want to thank you for the people with the incredible advice on this forum. NO contact is the way to go. I thought my scenario would be different in that I felt she love me and that we are different. Yet my scenario is no different from the other people on here. Don't try to make an exception.

[amy8177]

She sounds completely immature, emotionally toxic to you and sounds like biotch to me.

 

I say you sound like a decent man and I PROMISE you that you will find someone better. She has really really taken you for granted and your loving and bleeding heart deep down knows that. Please keep reminding yourself that. OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. Keep saying your kindness and love have been tossed around as if it was nothing, because guess what she is NOTHING.

 

She sounds awful.

[ParisPaulette]

One other piece of advice I would give--don't bend over backwards doing things for people when they won't do the same for you. While it's a good thing to be generous and to help others it's not good to do so at the expense of taking care of your own life and while ignoring red flags of unreciprocation. Normally people do nice things for each other, if it only goes in one direction it's time to run the other way.

 

There are people who use others and are rather self-centered and that sounds like her. Personally I think you dodged a bullet and your mom needs to let her go too, NC for both of you or this girl will continue to take advantage when it suits her. Find someone who actually appreciates you and your mom, who sounds lovely by the way.