Leaving a 12 step group...

[ATLstudent]

So I am considering leaving a 12 step group...I have trouble adhering my believes, self will, and thinking to the AA ideology. But not even that much, sometimes I really do align with the ideas in that group but my gut , heart , and mind doesn't want to be tied to one belief.

 

I may be breaking some rules here but in AA you are supposed to belief in a higher power of your understanding and pray for it to guide you, and give up your own personal will in exchange for guidance from a god or any power greater than yourself.

I basically want to leave .....or maybe not be so glued to it.

 

My concern isnt drinking again (although i have thought about taking a drink to disprove i am an alcoholic, or that I am powerless), because I haven't drank in almost 4 years, I'm not worried about drinking. I quit before going into AA. I got in the program for a 2nd time because I had made some choices that led me to being homeless in LA. I am from GA and wanted to live in LA so it wasn't all bad but it was tuff and AA nurtured me and got me on my feet, or at least gave me some comfort during my days while i was finding a job and looking for a place to live . I also got some great direction and structure from my sponser.

 

I guess the fear of leaving is having my life start turning bad and making bad decisions and being depressed. And it has gotten me socially connected more than I have been in the past so I don't want to lose that and not sure how to get that outside of AA.

 

I was in SLAA with my AA b4 and dropped it when i started to question if I needed it or if it was good for me....and then (now) I started to do the same with AA.

 

 

 

Any advice or experience out there?

 

P.s. I haven't finished all the steps yet so I am also thinking of waiting to make this kind of a decision after I am finished.

[pl3asehelp]

Find a nonnspiritual support group. You'll make all the same kinds of connectionsn without needing to pretend to believe in something you don't.

[lavenderdove]

Many people don't relate to AA and some even think it is a pseudo-religious cult not based on science. So some people find it very effective and useful, while others don't.

 

If it is not appealing to you but you want to stay sober (as you should), why not try Rational Recovery, which is a support system for people who want to quit drinking on their own and who have more of a scientific than religious orientation. They educate you on the nature of addiction and give you some tools to use to stay sober. But they also believe in complete abstinence as the way to staying sober because of the dynamics of addiction and how it works on some people. This is a self-help system and not a recovery group or rehab system where you pay, but instead you can learn the techniques (free) on this website.

 

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Rational Recovery doesn't subscribe to the belief that you are powerless over your addiction, rather they focus on the evidence that alcohol dulls your 'higher' brain and logic powers such that your more primitive lower brain takes over. Some people just can't drink because as soon as their higher brain functions are suppressed, the 'pleasure' center of the lower brain takes control and drives you to drink more and more because there are no inhibiting judgment thoughts in charge. So they have you avoid drinking not because you are 'powerless' over it, but because when you take a drink you yield the floor to your baser instincts in a way that isn't good for you. And you seek it again and again because it FEELS good, but ultimately is destructive to you. So they don't subscribe to any of the moral teachings of AA or that you are a 'dry drunk' and defective even when you're not drinking, but that if you make a choice to stop drinking, and to never drink again, it essentially solves the problem and you can just move on with your life without making a 'recovery group' like AA the center of your life. You make the conviction to never drink because you react badly to it as a strong conviction that you don't violate, but you don't subscribe to all the other ideas that you are somehow powerless and morally deficient somehow. More that you are a person who made some bad choices and can't drink without loosing control, so you just don't drink so you can stay in control, and then you're fine.

 

So you might look into that... they have written this book as a 'starter' course in how to practice 'Addictive Voice Recognition' to be able to learn to hear the addictive voice in yourself that encourages you to drink (and how to not yield to it). But you can also get this from the website which is free without buying the book.

 

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but i would strongly recommend that if you've had problems with alcohol in the past you not drink... it's a slippery slope and frankly you don't need to drink, and the risks are high for some people if they are 'pleasure seeker' type people who don't respond well to being able to stop drinking once they've had a drink or two.