How have your offline meeting experiences been?

[Double J]

Some people have met the loves of their lives online then in person, others have had nothing but bad experiences.

 

I'd like to read you guys' experiences in meeting guys/girls from the internet in person.

[PAdreamer]

I loved being with Aaron in person! We finally met in his hometown of Pittsburgh, PA after five months of being a couple online. I had three wonderful weeks with him, during which he spoiled me beyond belief, despite my protests! LOL! We did so much together.... And the whole time I was happier than I'd ever been! I met his family, saw his home, and got to do so many fun things! In a way it was like a REALLY LONG field trip! LOL! But it was incredible, and I can't wait for the next five and a half weeks to pass so that he can get here and we can do it all over again!

[shes2smart]

Chatted with a guy on yahoo messenger for about 3-4 weeks and on the phone a couple times in august/september 2001. Met for a date at the end of september 2001. He proposed a week later. He actually got the engagement ring 3 days after we met. Moved in together january 2002 (he lived a 2 hour drive away). Got married july 2002. Been stupidly content with each other from day one right up to the present moment.

 

I think we might be the exception rather than the rule, though. My guess is if you surveyed 100 couples who met online, there'd be us at the most positive outcome extreme....maybe one couple at a really negative outcome extreme....and the rest falling in between the two in your classic bell curve.

[Mun]

I just met someone in person a couple of weeks ago that I had met in a chatroom 3 years ago ( he had a gf back then). He was very sweet and a total gentleman. Don't know where this is going but he confessed, last night, that he liked everything about me . He works odd hours though, he's in law enforcement, so don't know how dating is going to work out.

 

All in all a positive experience

[DBL]

I only hear of the short time experiences of meeting someone online. I have not heard of many that last longer the 4 or 5 years. All the people I spoke to that have found dates like this usually ends before year 3. All of them think they found the one in the beginning, they all claim to have the greatest time, but it usually just fell apart over time.

 

DBL

[PAdreamer]

I guess I prefer to be blindly content and stupid and believe that I have found the one. I figure if I'm happy, then it's okay. And if it doesn't work out, I'll handle that when it happens.

[Mr. Cactus]

I guess I prefer to be blindly content and stupid and believe that I have found the one. I figure if I'm happy, then it's okay. And if it doesn't work out, I'll handle that when it happens.

 

My online friend lives life "for the moment". I can't say I object too much to that way of thinking, since nothing, not even a "permanent" relationship will last for ever anyway. As far as I am concerned I'm sure as heck enjoying the moment too, so I'm just enjoying things from day to day without having any expectations for the future. I know my friend will never be "the one" because the age difference and distance factor is just far too great, but since we both provide each other with such a huge amount of mutual fullfillment, I am more than happy to go on, even if it only lasts another month or year or whatever.

[ComputerGuy]

Shes2smart...thats pretty awesome...well done

[PAdreamer]

Cactus, out of curiosity how far apart are you and your "friend" and what's the age difference like? I'm in an age-gap relationship too, so I'm just wondering.

[peculiargirl]

I met my love on the net four months ago. I love him absolutely and completely. But I've discovered that I'm not his only online romance. This, after I flew to London and spent a fantastic week with him.

 

I've broken up with him just this month, and it's still killing me as I love him so much. All I can say is, be careful with the net. It's an easy place to meet people. Maybe too easy...

[Mermaid]

I met my guy online (didn't mean to!) and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. We're in a wonderful relationship, which is supported 100% by our families, and we're planning to get married in the not-so-far future.

[Mr. Cactus]

Hi PADreamer,

 

Well, unfortunately I'm in nothing like the luxury boat you are in We are half a world away literally and have 20 years age difference! I think that would have to be some sort of record based on "cumulative" scores for relationship difficulty! That's why it s tough to enjoy it knowing it's unreasonable to have expectations of any sort.

[PAdreamer]

I think that's a little harsh. If you didn't feel it was going to work, would you still be in it?

[Mr. Cactus]

I think that's a little harsh. If you didn't feel it was going to work, would you still be in it?

 

It is only a very close friendship at the moment. OK, it is an exceptionally close friendship. But your question is quite philosophical. Unless people are seeking "the one", then in my opinion many people embark on relationships on the ultimate understading that they will be transitory, or at the very least not "permanent". If my friend wants a serious boyfriend tomorrow, I'm certainly not going to do anything at all to stop her, but I would also subsequently suggest to her it would be better if our communication was massively reduced (in order to respect her "serious" relationship).

 

But whereas once upon a time I would have subcribed to the "if it won't work out why bother" theory, as I have gotten older I now feel that I prefer to enjoy relationships of any kind without trying to think too far into the future. Because when you get to my age, you realise that life is extremely good at throwing curve balls and the best laid plans often come undone despite merticulous planning and consideration.

 

I just say, if it is working for the moment and we are both happy with each other, then enjoy the time we have, however long that may be.

 

The only instances in which I would feel concern is where I felt the other party could get extremely hurt should a relationship fall apart "prematurely". But in this case, my friend has a pretty good support network and has many friends, including close ones. So I doubt this would be an issue. If it were going to be, I would probably be the one who would suffer the most, since I feel far more deeply for her than suspect she does me.

[PAdreamer]

See that's a great way to look at it. I am the type of person who, if the man I'm with decides I'm not the right woman for him, then so be it. Who am I to tell him that he doesn't know what is right for him? But if we're happy with what we have, then I'm content to enjoy it to the fullest extent possible! However, I do believe that I am meant to be with a particular someone, and I believe I've found him. Sure, I could be wrong. But until it's proven otherwise, why have a pessimistic view of it?

[matthes]

I met a girl once in reallife after chatting and phoning with her for quite a while. She was very nice but it simply didn't work out because she was not the type of girl I'm interested in and there were about 500 km between us (and I was 16). We just spent a very nice weekend, with kissing (nothing else), and it was ok. But we lost contact soon (ok, that's my fault, I think, because I'm not good in keeping long-term contacts).

 

So I think, you _may_ find your love on the net or you don't. As always, there's no guarantee for nothing! You _may_ also meet your love on the entrance of a subway train.

 

Just to add, there's noone of my friends here who had success dating online, most even tried it. My best friend, though, found two or three girlfriends on the net. But his current and longest-lasting love he found through friends

 

Greets,

matthes

[OceanEyes]

I've met 3 guys from the net. The first guy was indescribably weird, when I wanted to just be dropped off at home, he wanted to take me to "a party" to meet his friends and family. Huh? After knowing you for 3 hours? Afterwards, I tried to blow him off, and he SHOWED UP where I worked. I told him right there and then that he creeped me out and to stay away from me.

 

The second guy I met was awesome, we're still friends actually. There just wasn't anything there romantically. Was totally honest about everything too.

 

Third guy: lied about practically everything. He told me that he was 6 feet - when I saw him upright he couldn't have been more than 5'7-8. He also told me that he was "muscular". He looked like the only excersize that he got was returning empty beer bottles. He also lied about what he drove, what he did, and where he lived! None of these things would have been all that important (maybe the height), but it really bothered me that he lied about everything.

 

Be careful who you choose to meet off-line!

[ComputerGuy]

Well on January 16, I get to meet my girl properly in person, when i return to my Hometown of Darwin (lasted a whole 8 months before going back Ill let you know how it goes....although I definitely cannot see a problem

[PAdreamer]

8 months?! I'd have killed to make it away from home for 8 months. The only difference is you're going TO your love and I had to LEAVE mine! Grrrr!