RayKay Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 For those who did not read my last post, I was having some questions about trying to "read" this new guy I am dating, and I also mentioned that we were still non-exclusive as of a week or so ago, thereforeeee free to date others (and I was sort of seeing someone else, though he was only flirting with someone casually, but she was a smoker so that was not going to go anywhere as that is a no no for him). We agreed just to be open and honest if we were intimate with anyone else, or if we started getting interested in someone else. And anyway, I was just feeling a bit nervous about it as I am a bit gunshy I guess when I start to care a lot about someone and am afraid of getting hurt (and chances increase when you are not really exclusive) and I know that he was gunshy a bit too...and did not want to jump into anything blindly as in the past that had come back to bite him in the bum. Anyway, we had a date last night, and seeing as I am going away for a week to Toronto, I did kind of want to know where we stood because, well I was not sure what the limits were, or the guidelines now, before I left. So, I knew I was going to talk to him, but failed to to it last night due to nerves.....so we had a great date, he stayed over and this morning, as he was getting ready to leave....I decided to go for it. I guess I could of done it in a weaker moment for him, but I wanted to do it when we were both thinking clearly so I could get an honest answer and thereforeeee decision from him. I mean, there had been some allusions made to doing things "later" andother sort of more "exclusive" things from his side, but no actual statement or decision so. So, basically I just said, "so, I have a question for you" after a little wrestling fight we had, I had to spit it out! He gave me a little "uh oh" look, and I laughed and asked if he was nervous...he said a bit, as when people ask that generally something nervous inducing will follow! So I just asked him if he was feeling "less blind"....in reference to him not wanting to jump into anything. He did say things were a little less cloudy yes. And so I said good, and got nervous and could not really get anything out...lol. He did have to leave though as he had to be somewhere by 10, and so I did say there was another thing....and he gave me a couple minutes to "gear up for it". Then instead of saying the thoughtful, explanatory question I had planned on...all I could blurt out was "I don't particularly want to date anyone else...and was wondering what your feelings were on that". He looked at me pretty serious and thinking...and I was thinking uh oh...now I am all very nervous and anxious! Then he looked at me and said "I would agree with that". So, I smiled and said, so that's good, right? And he said "yes, its good. Though I don't know how serious I want to get yet", and to which I quickly added what I had meant to say before when I asked the question...that " I did not want the pace to change, as I like it, but just wanted, well, you know"...he then finished with "me all to your yourself" where I joked that "no, it was more for him, so he could have me all to his himself, that it was really all about him", then he joked that he would mark this on his calendar, the day it was all about him, so he could remember it 20 years from now. Hehe. And he definitely understood my nervousness asking a question like that! So, in sum, we are now "exclusively dating", and we'll see where it develops from there I guess! I really don't want to rush anything in terms of time spent together or emotions or anything and let that just happen as we go along, but I did want to give us that fair chance I guess to see where it goes. And now I won't be able to see him or talk to him for 5 days But, I think this is all good. Quote Link to comment
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