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i need help. if anyone has any experience on being separated for the first time please help me. ive been married for what would have been 2 years in march and ive been with my husband a total of 4 years. about 2 weeks ago my husband decided to get up and leave..with no true reason at all.. he says we fight a lot yet i dont see the reason why he left for real..he calls me often but he usually just wants a booty call.. i miss him more than anything in this world but i dont know how to cope with this situation..he doesnt want to be with me yet he does want to have sex.today i told him that i never wanted to hear from him again or see him, becasue im tired of being used.for me its really hard to go about my life, im so use to having him at my side regardless of anything..i dont have many friends or family to help me out which is why i ask you for your advice. i feel real alone and i feel myself falling into a deep depression...everyone keeps telling me im young im ok but young hearts hurt also..i am only 21 going to be 22 in april but i love my husband. i dont want anyone else in my life i want him..please someone help me

 

thanks

helpless

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  • 4 weeks later...

Being a separated (and now divorced) male I can sympathize with your message.

 

Right now you are feeling rejected or vulnerable. This is due to loss of a loved one or all the range of emotions one goes through in such a case. The best thing to do for yourself is this:

 

Get a piece of paper out and pen

Right down in column A "Why I love this man"

Right down in column B "Why I don't love this man"

 

Sit down in a quite place, alone, and away from everything except your thoughts. Take a entire day to do this and really think about things.

 

If you find column B having more reasons than column A, then you answered your own concerns.

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Stop giving him sex! He needs to undersstand that if he was to lay with you in bed, he needs to deal with his problems, by himself, AND with you! Once your situation is resolved, then sex can come bakc in to play. Cause then, things will be the same and you guys will be a couple.How old is he? is he young like you? Because he might feel like he jumped into marriage to quick. But if you keep giving him sex and he isn't coming home to you anymore, what message are you sending? Are you a peace of Ass or a women that wants his love and respect. When you can seriously answer this, then you can deal with this awful problem.

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