Question for the guys....

[Goddess4ever]

Okay....let's say you meet someone...or been set up on a blind date...or whatever. Let's also say the woman is a really nice person...witty, clever, etc. But in terms of her physical appearance, you are not attracted to her....she is too small, too big, weird hair....whatever. Is there anything that a woman can do to make you more attracted to her? Will her personality shine through? Could she flirt with you....take an active interest in a hobby? I am curious as to know what (if any) possibilities are. If you don't find her attractive...is that it...or is there something that would make you reconsider your initial "judgement"? I would be interested in hearing any and all replies!

[nightrider]

personally i am not attracted to physical appearance, i would like to add up here a Fabulous quote *¤°Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. °¤* I hope it will help you

[EnolWolf]

Usuallly when i'm not physically attracted to someone, it's her personality that catches me. she doesn't have to be skilled at anything.

[daredevil]

I really don't know, perhaps just try to be yourself, and show him your personality the way it is

[phantom_]

depends. if she's only moderatly less attractive then i'd like, but i still find at least a few things about her appearance a turn on..personality defenitely can shine through if we get along well. if im totally not attracted to her physically AT ALL, then theres nothing to be done. its not superficial, its just some physical attraction needs to be there for me.

[Gauchori]

I'm with phantom. Looks can be very important in some cases, but if you can shine it with a good personality, it can get much better than you thought, or just better...

I usually just like to have frinds with good personalities... I'm sorry but there has to be looks there for me...

[Mun]

Hi,

I don't think it's a good idea to change yourself for anyone. It's like living a constant lie--at some point you will forget who you really are. Anytime we have to change our appearance or personality for someone we are saying " I'm not good enough." Truth is we are good enough, we are just not what the other person is looking for.

 

Now having said that I will add that you should always do your best to look your best and present your best self to others. Treat yourself and your body with respect, take care of yourself and love yourself.

 

You will find someone that likes you just the way you are .

 

I just noticed you said question for the guys.

[dreamweaverdude]

I totally agree with Muneca on this one. DOn't ever change yourself for anyone..... and in the same light... dont hope someone will change for you to 'fit' your mold of whom they should me.

 

To address the original thread though.... I think that outward beauty is way overstated.. some of the most beautiful women i've ever met were dogs inside, they were either dumb as rocks or knew nothing than to use there looks for getting thru life.....

 

Maybe it is because I"m older but the older i get the more improtant it become to find someone with inner beauty... dont get me wrong certain women stil catch my eye.... they always will...... but as someone has written in another thread about fantasies... sometimes your fantasies need not become realities.... kills the fantasy....anyways... I"ve always been attracted to petite, dark haired ladies.......... but find myself in a situation that that i totally fallen for someone that no where fits that bill.... we are very open and she knows me better than any person EVER has or probably will.. and so she knows my tendencies... i think the thing for us was i KNEW her thoughts and like and dislikes and beliefs before i truly ever met her.. and it made the physical attraction take on a totally different perspective.. it is still important, but not as important....... again maybe that is becuase i'm older not sure... but i feel good about it...physcial attractiveness need not be the FIRST THING of the most importnat thing in a relationship! MIght be best if it is not.......

[Day_Walker]

There has to be some sort of initial attraction that brings two people together, usually that is based on looks. In some cases looks can keep a person, however i believe in the general case that most people need an actual personality. If a person isnt attracted to you then they arent attracted to you, unless there are extenuating circumstances it doesnt seem likely that you two will have a bf/gf relationship.

[Goddess4ever]

Okay...I posted this post NOT becuase I have a blind date and don't feel good about myself and was wondering how to change myself to fit into someone else's "mould". It is just something that my friend and I had a conversation about. We all make judgements....everyone does, however, it is what we do with those judgements. Do we allow the judgement to stop us getting to know someone better? Or are we stuck in the judgement. Just something I was curious to ask men how they feel/think.

[ShySoul]

Personality is what matters. Even if you find someone incredibly attractive, if there is no connection and you find there personality lacking you will lose interest fast. There has to be a deeper bond if thing are going to last.

 

I agree, never change yourself for someone else. Always stay true to who you are. When you find the right person they will respect and love you for you.

 

About judgements, I always go with the saying "You can't judge a book by its cover." Our initial impressions of a person may be completely off base. Just because a person looks a certain way doesn't tell us anything about them. We may not be attracted to them physically, but once you get to know the person things can always change. One day you could notice out of the blue the way they smile or something else that draws you to them. Similarly, physically attraction can wear off with time. Really, looks are overated. It's best to not make judgements or at least not let them influence your decisions too much.