Ex contacted me again

[pnoy]

I have ignorned and not got back intouch with my ex, my ex contacted me again we broke up over 1 yr ago he seems to want to reconnect and meet up i still care for him and if were all honest people on this site are hopeing this day will come and some say ignore stay nc but most of us want to get back together our relationship was good no cheating yes we both had issuies and things have changed

 

so when some say its just a booty call he doesnt really want you back ignore him

 

know one really knows what the reason they got back into

 

uch but it must be because they miss and want to maybe start again my ex before him, tried to reconnect with me we were together 18 yrs but there is no way i wanted to be with him,

 

i dont know what iam trying to say only yes nc does help but if there was no cheating and you both love eachother and got on well why not give it another go or you would live to regret if you done the right thing

[pippy longstocking]

hi darling

 

look you want to meet him and see where this is going to go ..and in your shoes I would do the same if itwhere my ex .. then you have to do what you need to do ...doesn;t matter what anyone else would do ...deep down you know you will anyway .

 

I only have one concern and I hate to bring it up ........the coke and the dealing ..just try and remember what life with him was like and go into this with an open mind ..

 

he got back with his ex , he is a coke head and a dealer ...go careful and dont be too quick to try and please him .....one slow step at a time xx

[pnoy]

hi star, i was wrong he never did get back with his ex he did have a relationship for about 3 weeks which never worked out, he has stopped dealing he said the police were always stopping him and he has stopped taking coke

 

but that was him telling me but who knows

[pippy longstocking]

oh hey well that is fab news ..wow I do hope its true and if I remember right ly you did once say in the early days he was getting a tadge paranoid about the dealing ..so it does make sense that he has quit ...that alone will have mellowed him and changed a lot of his behaviour ...so that is great.

 

It is hard on here , because no one wants to crap on your happiness , but at the same time it is just as hard to be egging you on because we are all aware of us each getting hurt ....again ...

 

you want to meet him and to hear him out and thats fair enough ..I will say one thing ..you never know unless you try ...I just want you to be careful x

[markie6]

Well op , have read a fair few of your threads over the last year. As nobody can predict the future, all we can do after a painful breakup is look after ourselves and try and learn as we go. We go NC to protect ourselves from further harm. Reconcilliations can happen as we all know but they won't last if we haven't learned from the mistakes of the past. You will hear some say never give them another chance but if it's what you want and you are aware of the risks , then who can say what the future holds. Many come here hoping for others to reinforce what they want to do, they aren't really wanting to hear anything else, while others come looking for hope while in the depths of despair.

 

Only you can decide what is best for you. You have to weigh up the risks and live with the consequences of your actions. I have had ex's return after horrendous breakups, hoping I would give them another chance but for me the risks outweighed the reward. I learned that it wasn't all my fault , that i could survive without them quite well, even if it took me a long time to get over them.

 

If it's worth the risk, then go for it but the only thing I would suggest is you make sure you don't do the chasing. You didn't choose to be let go. He has to put in the effort to prove to you, that he is worth the risks

[pnoy]

thanks star i really appreciate your thoughts x and thank you markie6, in the past yr that we split up i have never tried to contact him he contacted me through his mums facebook as i had changed my number i still do have lots of thoughts in my head and i want to be cool bout it all when we meet up, and not be quick to say yes to everything and go back to the same old same old