RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY DISORDER: Symptoms and Advice

[shielah]

Dear girls, women

 

I'm sorry to burst your bubble but although you have relationship anxiety you all seem to have the wrong boyfriend too.

 

I started reading the comments and I empathise because I suffer from this too but

And this is a big BUT then I stumble on red flags in your posts that clearly indicate that your other half is not mature and stable at all. He puts acid in your wounds.

Problems because you had a small detail wrong with planning something? Are you kidding me? Why did you not plan it together?

You are wounded by his comment? Did you say that this made you feel bad (no specific accusations please, just stating your emotional state) and he did not take it seriously? Did not hug you and tell you he's sorry he did not mean it that way or at least looking puzzled and correcting your impression in an understanding manner?

Well than he is selfish and incapable of nurturing a relationship. Period.

 

I suspect that you still have not dealt with your own issues so you subconsciously chose a partner you wanted to solve this with, you wanted to prove that you can be loved.

But hell! He is not the right one. Period.

I have issues and I have a new partner and it's wonderful. We still have problems but that's another universe. Showered with love and respect and not with "c'mon, get your act together" sort of crap.

He helps me out, I can reach him on the phone whenever I want, which I don't do take advantage of but I know I could, even in the night and on rare occasions I need it so I call and he's happy to hear my voice. Even if it's two in the morning.

When we argue he reflects about what I have said and tries to understand my point of view and I try to understand his and he is offering a solution and I do too.

 

Please please sort your issues, built your self esteem , get some time alone and reflect on your relationship.

You might (our you might not of course) come to the conclusion that he is not good for you

 

Being clingy is a natural reaction to a partner who does not satisfy your need for security or love

 

We humans need constant love, not big stuff, the little things, but constant.

 

Take care

And all the love from me, you are worth it, please don't forget that

[shielah]

Ps: I thought my ex partner was loving and caring too. Very much so.

After some years I want sure anymore.

You know, narcissist are loving and caring too as long as his ego isn't wounded. If it is they go and leave you like a hot potato.

 

I would say you should go with your gut.

Do you trust him? Do you feel emotionally safe, do you feel like expanding?? Do you feel like YOU?

 

I did not.

It wasn't a bad man, he had principles, good ones but I just felt alone misunderstood and never ever trusted him

I did not even realise I didn't until I met the other one and everything calmed

 

Good luck

You are wonderful humans who have been hurt. You deserve understanding

 

Hugs