New girlfriend acting very strange, very rude - not herself.

[Zeldaster]

Hello,

 

Here is a short story I have, and I hope you have some advice for me. A girl I have know for a while and I have recently gotten back together from 2 previous relationships. These relationships were short and didn't end well.

 

After these 2 realationships, for a period of about 2 months, she wanted us to go out, but I did notgo out with her then. We hung out and talked on them phone a lot, but never any actual dating. That was in may/june/july.

 

Recently, I started liking her again, and I told her so, and we started going out. Now, the night of us starting to go out again, we had to leave for a trip with our marching band.

 

We drove there, hung out, talked, generally chilled, blah. Then things got bad. Her adittude towards me got progressivly worse. Even with simple questions like, "Are you OK?" I'd either get no response or 'not right now', or just a general blowing-off. Again, this was over a period of 2 days.

 

Now, we were gone for the weekend, and on the saturday night. I found and followed, lightly chatting as she followed another older bandmember(male) through the hotel. Nobody in the band knew that we were going out, and we had decided to not show excessive amounts of public affection. But this get's rediculous. We went into a hotel room full of mostly guys, people I and she knew, and the older band member.

 

After slight pressure from the older bandmember, she sat infront of all of us and lifted up her shirt, flashing us all right there in the hotel. Now, not wanting to make a scene, I kept my mouth shut and sat there. Under more pressure, she did it again. Things were heading south, if you understand, and would've gotten there had she not had to leave. I am unconfortable with this for the obvious reasons, and becuase I had the feeling she would've done that if I was there or not.

 

Before things were going bad, she said she liked me very much and was glad we were going out. But all this happens? Also this all lead up to a big cresindo where we went home mostly in silence.

 

I really like her, and she claims to feel the same, but is this relationship just sour? Should I break it up and cut my losses, or try to mend it?

 

Sincerely,

Zeldaster

[Finch]

Obviously there is an unstable/damaged part of your relationship that she isn't telling you about. You need to have a serious discussion with her about what is going on with everything in your relationship and let her know that her behavior towards you is totally unacceptable.

 

Like I said, I think there is a big problem in your relationship that you are currently unaware of. You need to find out what that is and I'm hoping that it is something that she will feel comfortable telling you. Because she might not tell you if it is something like you are too needy for her and she feels confined.

 

Just evaluate everything in your relationship and you'll find the torn ends.

[DBL]

I would cut it off. Well I would atleast maybe keep it on the side. As for persuing a relationship..not a chance. If she can be persuaded to do that, then she can be persuaded to do other things. That has "trouble" written all over it.

[Cecelius]

Agreed. Try to find posts about wacky things that young people will do and it will make you nonchalant about her too.

 

She doesn't want people to know you are going out

She flashed a bunch of guys

She flashed a bunch of guys in front of you

She's occasionally rude to you

 

Pull back. Personally, I don't think she's bad for something to keep you occupied, but go out with other girls if you're looking for love