Now it's awkward

[Cherry009]

About two years ago i went on two dates with a guy i met online, i didnt feel that 'spark' but thought we got on really well so i told him i didnt like him romantically but would love to be friends. He agreed that he would like to be friends and since then we have met up quite a few times and do stuff like go to the theatre, cinema, out for dinner, drinks etc. In the two years thay we have been friends we have both briefly dated others.

 

Last week we went out for the day in town, went for some lunch and then for some drinks in the evening, we were having a good laugh as always. But then on the way home he text me asking if i wanted something more than just friendship, he said its cool if i want to just be friends, but he thought he would check if i wanted anything more. So now i dont know what to do, i dont want it to be awkward between us next time i see him. I also dont want the friendship to be based on him always wantin more, how do i know that he isnt just meeting up with me as friends in the hope that i one day change my mind? I just want it to all be cool and not awkward and for us to be on the same page wih feelings (both wanting just friendship) what should i do? Just leave it? He does have a lot of female friends that he meets up with so it isnt like he is the type of guy who isnt capable of being just friends with a woman.

[blacklantana]

There's no strategy or tactic you need to prepare for here. This is a fairly simple conversation, and it comes down to honesty. You tell him you will only ever see him as a friend, and if he needs time 'away' from you (which it sounds like he does) to heal, then you should give him that time. You may even suggest it, and he will say 'no no, it's ok. I'll be fine!', and you know he won't be. He may have tried to date other women for many reasons. Make you see him as 'attractive', since other women would. Try to 'move on' from you. Distract himself from the feelings he's always had for you since he met you. Etc... Bottom line is, at the end of the day, he came back to YOU. Not the other women he encountered. YOU. So if you do care about him, which I'm sure you do, you need to let him go for a while. Maybe later on WAY down the line, you two can be friends.

 

As of now, you tell him how you feel. He needs to back off and heal before he keeps getting into the routine of trying to win you over.

[pl3asehelp]

It's always been based on him wanting more and always will be until you get sick of it and tell him it will never happen.

[DN]

Moderator Note: please keep posts respectful and appropriate.

[Cherry009]

Yeah maybe i should distance myself a bit, but its been 2 years since we went on those two 'dates' and its not like i see him all the time, maybe once a month! Maybe he is just desperate for a gf and thought he would try it haha

[Cherry009]

Yeah maybe i should distance myself a bit, but its been 2 years since we went on those two 'dates' and its not like i see him all the time, maybe once a month! Maybe he is just desperate for a gf and thought he would try it haha

[blacklantana]

Yeah maybe i should distance myself a bit, but its been 2 years since we went on those two 'dates' and its not like i see him all the time, maybe once a month! Maybe he is just desperate for a gf and thought he would try it haha

 

Once a month is enough... how often do you talk to him? Through text/phone/email?

[Cherry009]

We text every few days, usually sendin each other funny pictures etc