dumPI Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 The best way to do is: Block ex, Unfriend exes friends. It's normal to want him to contact you but if he is thinking about it and all he can think of is contacting you through facebook then sadly I have to say that you don't want that. The harder it becomes for him to contact you, the better. And even if that happens you gotta be very very very careful. You should surf a while on these forums and learn how your situation is not so different from many other's. It never is ... Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 The best way to do is: Block ex, Unfriend exes friends. It's normal to want him to contact you but if he is thinking about it and all he can think of is contacting you through facebook then sadly I have to say that you don't want that. The harder it becomes for him to contact you, the better. And even if that happens you gotta be very very very careful. You should surf a while on these forums and learn how your situation is not so different from many other's. It never is ... Thanks everyone for helping me with the Facebook situation. I'm so glad I blocked and unfriended him, as well as all of our mutual friends, even my friends because I don't want anything to stall healing. I am so happy with what I did Link to comment
blacklantana Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Thanks everyone for helping me with the Facebook situation. I'm so glad I blocked and unfriended him, as well as all of our mutual friends, even my friends because I don't want anything to stall healing. I am so happy with what I did good for you. NO REGRETS! Just call them learning opportunities Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 Blacklantana, just re- read what you wrote earlier, you said don't move in faster than you're supposed to. What's that mean? Link to comment
blacklantana Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Can you quote it exactly so I can clear it up? Link to comment
amr2006 Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 i just deleted my whole account. its better that way. bad enough i think of her everyday haha. Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 Yup... at least you realized it now! Of course you aren't over him, as it is way too soon. Don't move on faster than you should (although that sounds counter productive)... I am mostly leaning toward a mentality where HE'S NOT IN IT. Don't think about him or even state that you are over him... Telling yourself you are over HIM includes HIM in that phrase... He is no longer a thought in your brain, and if he happens to pop in there a few times a day or a week, think about something else... GOT IT?!!??! This one. I'm scared that I'm moving on too fast and will bite me in the a*&^ in the end. Link to comment
blacklantana Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Why do you think you are moving on too fast? And how do you know you are ACTUALLY moving on? Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 Why do you think you are moving on too fast? And how do you know you are ACTUALLY moving on? Because compared to my previous break ups, it took me a lot longer to not be depressed. I was never able to sleep and eat. This time around I am not sad, sleep well and eat well. I guess I just figured out a lot of things on my own and did a lot of introspection. I know I'm actually healing (wink) because it doesn't really hurt thinking about him anymore. I can picture myself with others in fact I want to be with another guy. It's just my feelings. Does that make sense. Most importantly I know what I want in a guy. And he's not it. Link to comment
blacklantana Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Because compared to my previous break ups, it took me a lot longer to not be depressed. I was never able to sleep and eat. This time around I am not sad, sleep well and eat well. I guess I just figured out a lot of things on my own and did a lot of introspection. I know I'm actually healing (wink) because it doesn't really hurt thinking about him anymore. I can picture myself with others in fact I want to be with another guy. It's just my feelings. Does that make sense Perfect. Then you aren't "moving on out of spite", as I was trying to imply... You'll be fine, and just keep doing what you're doing. Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 Perfect. Then you aren't "moving on out of spite", as I was trying to imply... You'll be fine, and just keep doing what you're doing. I think deep down I'm afraid I'm moving on our if spite and this is just my anger speaking. That's why I said I was scared. But then who knows, time will tell Link to comment
blacklantana Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 I think deep down I'm afraid I'm moving on our if spite and this is just my anger speaking. That's why I said I was scared. But then who knows, time will tell Yep, you will know if you have "tried to move on too fast" once you think about him and possibly interact with him in some way/shape/form... Let's say for instance a week or two goes by, and he calls/text you, or you decide to unblock him from Facebook. Will you be able to handle it ok? Make sure you aren't pushing everything under the rug, but instead, sweeping it into the dust pan and into the trash bin where it belongs. Capiche? Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 Yep, you will know if you have "tried to move on too fast" once you think about him and possibly interact with him in some way/shape/form... Let's say for instance a week or two goes by, and he calls/text you, or you decide to unblock him from Facebook. Will you be able to handle it ok? Make sure you aren't pushing everything under the rug, but instead, sweeping it into the dust pan and into the trash bin where it belongs. Capiche? Yes Capiche! Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 Another hard thing about breakup are the dreams you have with your ex in them. Waking up realizing it's just a dream doesn't matter if it's good or bad. Oh man it's brutal! Link to comment
blacklantana Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Another hard thing about breakup are the dreams you have with your ex in them. Waking up realizing it's just a dream doesn't matter if it's good or bad. Oh man it's brutal! hehe, doesn't sound like you're over him yet if it's... BRUTAL why was it brutal? Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 2, 2013 Author Share Posted April 2, 2013 hehe, doesn't sound like you're over him yet if it's... BRUTAL why was it brutal? I am obviously not over him, but I'm doing well and am healing properly. It was brutal because I was really sad by getting dumped and it felt so real that I almost cried in the dream. Like in real life, we broke up in a matter of three weeks without any pre-emptive warning, and I thought we were so happy and we're doing so well. Then... everything happened, so in the dream, same thing happened. It just felt real. Link to comment
blacklantana Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Ahhh I see... well, keep it at with doing well and healing properly! Dreams aren't supposed to make sense anyway, and being with him didn't make much sense, did it? Link to comment
kz91 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I can't help myself. She's blocked me on Facebook but I go on my friends to see her account, stupid I know. I'm not strong enough to not look! I saw her status once which included the word boyfriend and I didn't bother looking for three days. Facebook is poison for situations like these.. Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 Ahhh I see... well, keep it at with doing well and healing properly! Dreams aren't supposed to make sense anyway, and being with him didn't make much sense, did it? It made sense at the time. Gerrr... I'm still thinking about the letter and the money I sent. I wonder if he's got it yet. I guess it's because I still have feelings for him so I am afraid I'm gonna look petty by sending that card. Link to comment
blacklantana Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I can't help myself. She's blocked me on Facebook but I go on my friends to see her account, stupid I know. I'm not strong enough to not look! I saw her status once which included the word boyfriend and I didn't bother looking for three days. Facebook is poison for situations like these.. I think everyone has been in that position of desperation, but it will pass with time. Just keep reminding yourself WHY they aren't with you and why you aren't with them. They sounds similar but aren't. Gain composure, self-control and reflect back. She's not worth your time nor effort. Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 figured out why I am so concerned of looking petty and realized I should not be like that Link to comment
blacklantana Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 figured out why I am so concerned of looking petty and realized I should not be like that and 'why' is that? Link to comment
heartbrokengir Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 and 'why' is that? Because I stopped focusing on myself and started focusing on him, what he will think of me when he reads the card he once wrote to me. I was afraid it will taint my image to him, but then I thought that's not something I can control, I can control my behaviours and thoughts but not the other way around. If he really forgets about all my positive attributes just because of my sending of a card, then more reason for me to not be with this person, and more reason for me to heal. Link to comment
blacklantana Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Shouldn't be worried about what he thinks at all...And trust me, he won't forget about your positive attributes even if he tried to. It's not possible, especially as the dumper. Link to comment
1988baby Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 i first just unfriended my ex and i was still seeing tags with my ex in it and it was killing me inside but once i blocked her from facebook i felt more free when looking at my feeds Link to comment
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