McBook Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 We(I'm a 26F and he is a 29M) had a really rocky relationship from the beginning. Despite all of it we had feelings for one another and do care about one another. I talked to him about speaking with someone about our issues. We are meeting this person on Thursday. We haven't seen each other, but text/and or call on a routine basis. Most of the texting, however, was instigated by me. He will answer quickly and for the most part has kept it vague. I stopped contacting him just to see what would happen and he sent a random text the next day. The talking to someone was my idea and most of the contact has come from me. I asked about meeting beforehand and he told me we would only meet if it was for 20 minutes and we didn't talk about the break up. I asked about meeting other times and he came up for vague reasons as to why he didn't want to. He still wants to meet up with the counselor though. Part of me thinks he is just going along with anything I say and wants to just do us a favor and throw in the towel for him. The other part thinks he is stringing me along for some reason and possibly has a girl over. I know he's flirted with other girls in the past. What do you suggest? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I would tell him that you're taking a step back, and if he decides to be sincere about trying to reconcile, he can contact you. Otherwise you're moving on. Standing up for, and respecting yourself can do wonders... Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 First I would like to understand why you're paying good money to a councellor when your relationship has already broken up and it's been rocky from the beginning. I think you'd do better to see a personal councellor to find out why you're unable to let go of something that is obviously not good for you. Don't waste too much time or money on couples councelling when you're not even married or living together. There are way too many good guys out there that you'd not have a rocky start with. This wasn't working before it even really got off the ground. Why flog a dead horse? A councellor isn't a miracle worker. Link to comment
maxxpayne Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I totally agree with thatwasthen. Dont waste time or money on this. After this meeting, you'd probably think you'd have been better off without meeting the money hogger. Don't take along the whole list of problems that he is, no offence. In your best interest Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I agree with thatwasthen. He doesn't really even seem that interested in you. Link to comment
McBook Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 No money will be spent on it. It's a friend I know who offered to meet for dinner. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I can't see that he is stringing you along as you are the one instigating the contact and asking to meet up and he is keeping his answers vague and mostly not agreeing to meet up. Maybe he thinks talking to someone will help you see the situation for what it really is and that moving on is the best course of action for both of you. Seeing a counsellor generally helps people to fix something that is possibly fixable, I can't see that there is anything to fix here. Link to comment
McBook Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 If that is the case then why does he reply so quickly and then text me even when I don't? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 If that is the case then why does he reply so quickly and then text me even when I don't? I think the real question is why doesn't he initiate conversations about getting back together and going to counselling. A man who wants to marry you would do that. Link to comment
ClarityCoast Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 McBook...what exactly are YOU getting out of this relationship? Link to comment
mjae Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Another big question is: How long have you two been together for? Link to comment
McBook Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 We dated since September and moved in together in November. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 No money will be spent on it. It's a friend I know who offered to meet for dinner. Councellors are suppose to be unbiased how can that possible be if he is YOUR friend? Doesn't matter anyway, this man is not meant to be your LIFE partner. If he was, it wouldn't be rocky from the beginning and you'd still be together. What is so "wonderful" about this man that you are unable to move on from him? One month you knew him and you moved in with him? You didn't even know who he was. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 If that is the case then why does he reply so quickly and then text me even when I don't? It is likely he is responding when the texts comes through because he has his phone close by. To make a point of NOT responding immediately on purpose and wait a while is playing mind games or following a strategic plan and he probably doesn't feel the need to do any of that. As for texting you, well I guess it depends on what he is texting you but whatever it is you're better off not reading too much into it otherwise you will drive yourself mad trying to look for some hidden agenda that may not be there. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.