Redabc123 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Started seeing this guy, we have been on 4 dates which isn't alot, but I'm starting to like him and don't know if wants to start dating exclusively. When I have dated in the past guys seem to want to be together pretty quick, so I'm a little afraid of being hurt and don't know if I should pull back or go with the flow. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Just go with the flow ... without sex. If he wants sex let him know you only do that in a relationship ... or whatever. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Share Posted March 17, 2013 Just go with the flow ... without sex. If he wants sex let him know you only do that in a relationship ... or whatever. I told him that last night which is why I'm a little scared today, we text/ talk everyday but I'm afraid it will cause me to get more feelings for him, and not knowing what will happen that is scary, should I pull back because of this? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Would you like it if he suddenly pulled back because he feared getting attached? No ... it would cause you worry and confusion. Why not just be busy in your life and have other friends/activities so you are not completely focused on him. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 Would you like it if he suddenly pulled back because he feared getting attached? No ... it would cause you worry and confusion. Why not just be busy in your life and have other friends/activities so you are not completely focused on him. Your right thank you for the advice Link to comment
m8check Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Don't make him your priority right now. Doing so will only make you more attached to him which can be difficult later on when you realize that he is not someone you want to be with. Link to comment
savignon Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I've been seeing a guy for a few months now and in the beginning I started having feelings for him at exactly the 4 date mark, too! For me it was important to know if he was seeing anyone else by the time I considered sleeping with him and asked him all the questions I wanted to know. I figured I might scare him off but then figured its better for my own well-being to know what I want to know than to wonder or guess or leave all the decisions in his hands. Really if he couldn't handle the questions, he wouldn't be someone I would have wanted to sleep with. I'm a little "older" and a single mom so I just don't have time for that stuff and am a lot more sure about what I'm looking for and what I need/want than I was my last time around at this. I would also recommend staying busy with your own things and if its important to know that you're the only person he'll be sleeping with, then be upfront about that. If its not something you would consider a deal breaker, then just go with the flow and do it when the time feels right. Best, Sav Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 Don't make him your priority right now. Doing so will only make you more attached to him which can be difficult later on when you realize that he is not someone you want to be with. If you can give me some advice about this that would be great... Ok so today I didn't hear from him until 4:00 in the afternoon, I usually hear from him every morning, saying goodmorning etc. anyway he said he fell and hurt himself last night and has been sleeping all day, weather or not it's true I was kind of upset that I didn't hear from him which is a bad right? Of course he doesn't know this, I mean we have only been on 4 dates. I'm not sure at this point what to do, I feel like my emotions are going to ruin this if its anything at all. I'm parinod and my stomach was in knots all day thinking that he wasn't interested. I have had some bad experiences in the past. Also there is this social networking site instagram I happened to check mine and I saw he liked other girls pics... I'm not sure if that's a red flag, any advice would help. Thank you Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 Thank you for the advice, I kind of snuck in the fact that I don't get it on until we atleast say we are exclusive, he didnt really respond which was a yellow flag to me, although we were making out in the process I'm a mess lol Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Do you have another date planned? Time to focus on distractions like friends, meeting other men, whatever is fun for you. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Do you have another date planned? Time to focus on distractions like friends, meeting other men, whatever is fun for you. Not really we talked about doing something Friday but nothing set in stone...ugh so should I start pulling away? Link to comment
HeatherB Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Be realistic. Most guys you date don't work out in the long run. That's how the dating numbers game works, as we all know. Adopt an optimistic wait and see attitude. He may prove himself to be a keeper, or not. Only time and continued contact will tell. Link to comment
oap81 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I wouldn't say pull back. Just hold your cards close. Be cautious. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 I wouldn't say pull back. Just hold your cards close. Be cautious. How do I do that without pulling away? Should I not text as much? Link to comment
oap81 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I wouldn't say pull back just be careful Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 I wouldn't say pull back just be careful Understandable, he hasn't asked me to hangout at all this weekend, so I'm guessing he may be getting bored, I have tried to not pull back but when he texts I don't respond right away and give some space in between. Now I'm getting shorter texts back. I'm not sure what to do I like him but don't want my feelings to get hurt Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 You are being a little needy here hon. It's just a guy you have been dating for a little while. It's nothing to be too upset over. Link to comment
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