is he over compensating by being with women??

[jjbunny]

ok i have dated a guy off and on, to me he's a man but he has some femine traits. i have asked him if he is gay and he said no, but some gay men do approach him. he is always talking about having a 3some with another girl, even when we have phone sex he always brings in another woman which i am very uncomfortable with and have made it clear to him on different occasion. he said seeing me with another woman will turn him on. my question is, is he gay and over compensating by talking and being with women. or what is a good way to ask him again if he is gay???

 

he always surrounds himself with women, he always talks about women and marrying one day, he has no kids, he is well groomed, he gets manicure and pedicure, there was a time i actually gave him a manicure and he used the clear polish on his nails, which was kind of weird to me.

[bulletproof]

None of what you've described makes me think this man is gay. If you are offended that he asks you for threesomes, then maybe you should stop seeing each other.

[SapphireNoir10]

I don't think he's gay.

 

But if you don't want a threesome and he's pressuring you into one he isnt respecting your choice or decision.

 

Men can have 'feminine' traits without being gay. If he was suggesting a threesome with another man I might think he's bisexual but thats it.

[SapphireNoir10]

Also I think it's stereotyping to assume a man is gay because he takes care of his appearance and manicures. It's a lot more common for guys to take care of their apperance these days.

[jjbunny]

thanks guys, thats why i decided not to take the relatonship further and we dont have intercourse anymore, but sometimes just phone sex because of the fact that he does not want to get over the 3some. i made it clear it will never happen at least not with me and he is free to find 2 willing women to do that with and when he is ready for something serious then we can talk some more if am still available. but for some reason he wants me in it. another question is, after men have a couple of 3some is it something they ever get over??

[SapphireNoir10]

I don't get why he needs this threesome. if you are to be together, you should be enough sexually. you shouldn't have to fulfill his fantasies if you don't want too.

 

It's quite difficult because if you have a few threesomes, then don't want to do it anymore, he'll wonder why you've stopped doing them. Might be something he gets used to.

 

I think you've done the right thing.

[rosasnyder811]

Is he forcing it or does he just keep asking? Because, as a male, I know I talk about it all the time, even though I know it won't happen...

[SapphireNoir10]

If he keeps asking when she's said no and she doesn't want to that is disrespectful in my opinion.

[jjbunny]

I have never had a 3some before and never intend to participate in one.. he has had it done about 2-3x and i told him he needs to get over it.. he talks about it like maybe 1x in maybe 4m.... i have given him permission to go have it and we can just be cordial friends, but he wouldn't and i dont understand him. i finally told him a few days ago to date other ppl as i will do same, cos i cant meet up w/his sexual fantacies... but he still has a hard time understanding that..

[SapphireNoir10]

Well good on you for letting him go. He clearly wants to live out these fantasies and you don't want too. So sexual incompatibility would have been an issue.