Do ideas/desires of love change as you get older?

[turnthepage]

I am 26. I have always been a stupid romantic, my first love and I were all disney style love with the most amazing connection from day one. I have always sought this deep, strong connection; physically, mentally and emotionally and looked for the fireworks.

 

My question is simple, as we get older, are these things less important when meeting somebody new? Is it more about finding someone you are comfortable with, safe with, someone you trust etc?

 

I am just wondering as sometimes I feel like I have such high expectations. I have a best friend who is amazing. I have a feeling he cares a lot for me. He is driven, we have the same interests, he takes such an interest in my life, he has a lovely family which is so important to me. He would never, ever hurt me, ever! Yet there is not the spark. Is this as important as it would have been when I was 18?

 

Not just relating it to him.. just generally.

 

Any thoughts would be lovely Thanks

[EssexMan]

My question is simple, as we get older, are these things less important when meeting somebody new? Is it more about finding someone you are comfortable with, safe with, someone you trust etc?

 

Yes, in a word. But that doesn't mean the Disney fireworks can't be there too. But I guess one has learned from experience by a certain age that the fireworks will eventually fade and what's then important is what remains.

[lilypadgirl]

Yes, ideas and expectations of love do change over time and with experience. As EssexMan says, it's not that the sparks aren't there, but at some point there are more important things sustaining the bond. And also it doesn't mean that two people don't hurt each other ever. Less hurt is definitely better, but the occasional hurt and conflict are inevitable. The important thing is that two people are genuinely compassionate about learning how to avoid hurting each other and being a good partner.

[EssexMan]

Good point from Lilypad. One thing I've definitely noticed as I get older is that I am more accepting of it not always being a rose garden. When I was younger I would get really upset if the slightest thing went wrong in a relationship. Nowaways, I don't like it of course, but I can live with it and work on remedying it instead of just panicking about it.

[Klokwurk]

It changes.

 

It gets more dull, I'm not going to lie.

 

But in a way it gets less stressful, because you know that you've been here before, and can make it out again, if you need to.

[SometimesShy]

IMy question is simple, as we get older, are these things less important when meeting somebody new?

 

I think it depends on the people involved, many of us ( myself included ) are hopeless romantics at any age. I personally don't feel there is an expiry-date to feeling this way.

 

...But sometimes when you are older, you just can't find a great match in a partner, so you have to settle for what you can find instead. ( myself, I will always choose be alone than to be with the wrong person )