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brother-in-law loves me


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please believe me when i say this is the worst thing I've ever done, i know I'm a horrible person, i made a mistake and i don't know how to move on or if i even deserve to. quite frankly, i deserve to live forever just so i can suffer the repercussions of my actions and the damage (if exposed) will one day plague and tear apart my family for the rest of my life.


i didn't see it coming. AT ALL. i come from a very very conservative, religious family. where anything about love or intimacy outside of a marriage are strictly taboo and never ever ever to be brought up. you have to understand something about my religion before we move on. we have something called "temporary marriage" when a man (married or single) can have a temporary marriage with a girl for an agreed upon amount of time, could be 1hour or 1year its between them. in my opinion, its religious prostitution.


anyway it started when i went to go stay with my sister and her husband for a few weeks to help with the kids. we have all three gotten along so well in the past, he was like a brother to me and i really respected him for his laid-back nature compared to my sisters temperamental personality, the perfect match. anyway somehow a conversation started between us all about polygamy and temporary marriage. me and my sister find it absolutely disgusting. but him being a guy kept defending it.


ill try to keep it short from this point on. the next day my sister was at the doctor, we were both home alone, he asked me would i ever consider doing a temporary marriage with him, he heard my sister open the door upstairs and told me not to tell her. the next time we were alone he tried to talk me into it again saying were not supposed to be in a situation like this if were not married, and i said what are we doing thats so wrong? you're like my brother and its not like there's an intention of anything romantic, plus lying to my sister and your wife would be worse and he didn't say anything. little did i know there was a romantic intention on his part.


next time we were alone he told me he's liked me for a while and has thought about this for a few months and asked if i would do it for 5 years i said no. youre my sisters husband. no. youre my sisters husband. but he didnt care he just kept asking, he told me he loved me and he sometimes dreams about me, that hes never felt that way about anyone and i told him "what about my sister" and he was silent, he tried to hold my hand and i pulled away and started sobbing uncontrollably. like what the **** is this?! theyre supposed to be married and happy with two kids, theyre not supposed to have a ****ty broken relatinship like my parents did. and the worst part is my sister was so oblivious too it, and so was i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



so the last straw came the last time we were alone, before we went to pick up my mother. i said i dont want to talk about this anymore im not going to do it i wont do that to my sister. he said it would help their relationship and he would get emotional support from me he didnt get from her. i said why dont you just try it with her? he was just silent. anyway that clicked something inside of me...that it would help their reltainshop and this is were things start to get foggy and where i want to ****ing kill myself. i said yes. i said fine ill do it until i go back home if it will help youre relatinship with her but im only doing it for my sister (i know. so ****ed up). i honestly thought all he wanted from me was to be in the same room or when we were alone to hold my hand which didnt seem so terrible as other things, more like helping a brother emotionally. but i was such an idiot and didnt consider that even though id always just see him as my brother in law, he saw me as something more. anyway we were in the car and he recited the temporary marriage. and it was the first out of body experience I've ever had, i didnt know who i was. so he held my hand and i thought thats it. thats all this will be but then he started pushing my head towards his and i said no but he kept pushing and i thought i had to do it because of the marriage and so that him and my sister could be happy and normal again and so my sister wouldnt get hurt so i did it for a second and pulled away but he wanted more so he kissed me more and i let him then i couldn't handle it i said end this end this right now and he did


now i have to lie to my famly the rest of my life. i have to lie to my sister the rest of my life, my mother, my neice and nephew. i dont know how i could possibly do it. i feel dirty, tainted, disgusted. i dont know anyway how this will turn out alright in the end i dont know if it deserves to turn out alright. i just didnt want my sister to suffer through anything but now im the one who will be the source of all her pain if she finds out. every single second i struggle with a heavy heart, insomnia guilt, and debating wether to ever tell anyone or not, but then i think of how broken everything would be if i did so i shut my mouth, and it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. and i dont know how long i can do it for.

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So - firstly, I don't personally believe in polygamy - but I thought people who were polygamous had a wife who knew that he was taking another wife and it was all out in the open. Either way, no means no and this guy put the pressure on a family member. Not to insult you, but are you really a part of this religion if you do not believe in polygamy or "temporary marriages?" Why don't you get away from him and have nothing to do with him again? And just see your sister alone or if you can't do that without being obvious, always have other family around. You have a choice - you can be silent and let this eat you, you can become estranged from them and let it eat you, or you can get your sister alone and tell her that you have something to tell her that makes you sick, but her husband approached you about a temporary marriage. Either she will surprise you and tell you that she knows, or she will be horrified. But if this is part of the group you belong to, who knows. But you WILL have it off your conscience.

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You don't have to lie to anyone, you chose to not tell them because you think it will destroy their relationship and also make you look bad... Have you ever considered that maybe your sister needs to know before your brother in law does it with some other woman? I think you've decided to choose the easy path out and keep it a secret, your insomnia and guilty is probably your conscience telling you to do whats just.


You should also understand that their marriage has nothing to do with you, he isn't happy with your sister end of story, that is the root cause not you. Even if he fell in love with your it isn't your fault, it's his and maybe partially your sisters since you mentioned her temper.

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I'm sorry, and I don't mean to sound rude at all, but your story amuses me. The whole song about wanting to do this all for your sister is just ridiculous. It's unfortunate that this happened but why haven't you removed yourself from this situation a long time ago? How come you haven't told your sister yet? You need to tell her what happened, she's family to you and deserves to know.

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This is a religious scam here. The whole temporary marriage thing was dreamed up by men to get access to the women they desired while at the same time dressing it up as something sacred and respected. It is just pure lust being hidden under the cloak of religion by sexual predators.


Confess what really went down to your sister. You need to make sure that you are out in front of this because it will explode sooner or later. And he will try and spin things so that you were the pursuer and the one who suggested the marriage. The fact that you kissed him is enough to taint anything you try to explain if he is the one who exposes you.


Good luck. This is something right out of the pioneer days on the frontier in closed communities. Shocking that it still is continuing today.

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