Will he come around? Do I need to move on?

[cremedelacreme]

Please bare with me about my story. I know that the default reaction is "You should have known better" or "Isnt it obvious?" but there is much more to it.

So, I met a man last year who asked me out. He is older and has his own business so always busy. Anyway,we met and talked for a while and then he invited me over to his place and I felt a deep chemistry(same things in common,grew up in the same country yada yada) I really got tired of the "Pretty Woman"references because I made it clear to him that I liked him for reasons other than his econ stats as I have never been the type of woman to choose a guy for those reasons.

I digress. He was very eagar to sleep with me and I regretfully did give in later on. Ever since then, we started to meet less often(he says he is overwhlemed with work and things are going on in his company)We barely saw each other in the summer(he keeps making plans and cancelling and also barely ever calling--as he once did in the beginning)However, we met again in October and everything was fine.He planned to meet me and take me out for my birthday which was a month later.But he was in Punta Cana on a resort when I called him two weeks prior to my birthday. I thought he was going on a business trip. Then one day before my birthday he said"Hi baby I am delayed and still not back in town. What are you doing for your birthday? I wasnt sure we were meeting but next week looks better xoxo"I got very angry and told him he confirmed to meet on the 20th and send him alot of emotional texts and calls. He finally told me"sorry I am just burntout, I will call you tomorrow, happy birthday".But he never called and I continued my emotional outbursts until a week later he said"As I mentioned I am burntout" and that he is going through something that will take 2-3 months in his work and is even isolated from friends and family.I tried to understand so now its Feb and the last time I heard from him was on New Years he texted me saying "Happy New Year, miss you and love you baby"What should I do at this point? I did message him quite a bit since then asking for a proper explanation or at least a call, I even typed an email message that was supposed to be sent to myself about all the things I was unhappy about in the relationship but accidentally sent it to him(not knowing if he ever read it cause he never said anything) I asked him why he is being so cruel and if he understands what he is doing to me. The last time I texted him was on Feb.14 to wish him a Happy Valentines Day. Is this his cowardly way of letting me go? Am I a rebound? Or do you think he is serious about these obligations? I am really confused at this point. Its even interfering in my school-work life and I barely have an appetite these days. I dont think I have cried so much before..

[Edmund Exley]

Well if there is "much more to it" then perhaps you should share what that is, because on what you have given us, its pretty obvious.

[Captain Obvious]

Will he come around? No. Do you need to move on? Yes.

 

Maybe you should have a think why you are letting this person have such an effect on your life where youre hardly eating anymore.

[mhowe]

He is not remotely connected to you except an occasional text. You need to let go. He will not come around. And your emotional outburst over and over have done nothing to help your case. He used you for sex....and that is it.

[HeartGoesOn]

He was very eagar to sleep with me and I regretfully did give in later on. Ever since then, we started to meet less often(he says he is overwhlemed with work and things are going on in his company)We barely saw each other in the summer(he keeps making plans and cancelling and also barely ever calling--as he once did in the beginning)

 

I'm sorry, but it seems that he looks at this as "mission accomplished." I would take this as a lesson learned, and move on.

[cremedelacreme]

Why I say there is more to it is because of the fact that he is the exact opposite in person. I mean its like Jeckyl and Hyde..which is why I am confused. I know he sees my text messages(he obviously has his phone on him 24/7). I also sent him a christmas gift but never even got a "thank you" from him--I know he got it because I traced the package. At least when someone gives you closure(like telling me he met someone else or was just interested in sleeping with me) its easier to cope. Instead, hes left me high and dry and I just know him to be more noble than that. Also, I am confused why he sent me that text on New Years..is he serious? How can someone love someone and keep ignoring them for so long? It makes no sense.

[lilypadgirl]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think deep down you know the answers to your questions - it's just hard to accept right now. There are many reasons why he could have sent that text - guilt/pressure, wants to string you along in case he changes his mind, and maybe even he sent it accidentally and meant it for someone else. Either way, you're not going to get closure from him. You need to focus on you now.