Cherry1010 Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Hi all I'm dating this guy it's been 30days now We are not exclusive We have not had any chat about exclusivity I took him out for his birthday and spoiled him , I'm driving us back to my place it's 1030pm and he picks up a call from another woman. He starts talking about what he's doing and is a little flirty and says he will chat tomorrow and keeps on saying "it's all good" Now I'm totally mortified I get we're not together but this is pretty tough to take to be honest I asked about 1min after he hung up 'so is that a friend, or?' And he said without a breath 'yes' and didn't say anything else You could cut the air with a knife The fact that it's calling at 1030pm on a Sunday that's totally not normal IMO Then he's on text email for 20mins saying he has to send 'an awkward email' and he stays in my lounge room while I'm preparing for bed I'm thinking *** this is so rude it totally can wait until the next day? He's even checking for replies to the emails ... We hugged all night but I was uber upset inside. You're thoughts? It was the 8th date. Link to comment
Angel Irulan Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Dumping material!!! He is gauging how much bull**** he can pour on you and how much you'll take. Don't take one more bit of this guys poop!!!! I am *shocked* that you would let him in your bedroom, much less your bed after what happened! Committed or not, he was WAY out of line. He's likely some horrible creep with a mixed personality disorder with passive aggressive and antisocial features. Here's what you do: you get him out of your life. Block him everywhere, FB, Twitter, any other social media. Then you get yourself to the therapist to learn why you have NO self esteem! I'm burning mad over what this guy did: why weren't you???? Also, be glad you learned what an ass he is now. Angel Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Oh God that was classless. Gross! Link to comment
Cherry1010 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Thanks guys... Really appreciate youre replies. I think he is ultra passive aggressive. I am 29 and yeah that was really bad of me to allow that. I haven't had a committed relationship in a long time. It's clear to me now I need to lift the standards and listen to my gut. I should have kept on driving him home. Or told him to get out of my car. I'm so brutal with men at work, why do I let men I date do this?! Thank you. Angel. Link to comment
Unknown1607307972 Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Yeah that was very rude! I would not have let him stay over, one thing is not being exclusive but another is actively having a conversation with the other person they're seeing while in your company. I'd drop him, it's rude. Link to comment
zep Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 A similar thing happened to me with a guy I was dating, and I wish I had called him out on it during the date! But I was so shocked it didn't really sink in until the next day. So then I blocked him on everything. It's just we don't expect men to be so rude/classless so when they are it takes some time to accept that it is actually happening! I wish I had told the guy I was dating off during the date, grr. Oh well. At least I never saw him again! Link to comment
Not a rookie Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Yes he was rude but why did you take him out for his birthday? He is not even your boyfriend... Link to comment
Cherry1010 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 ^this is exactly what happened to me. In fact I stayed in shock and also pretended it wasn't happening. I liked this guy a lot. It's clear to me now what I need to do. I don't think I can trust him again it's so clear it was a fresh meet as she didn't know it was his birthday the next day. I'm pretty mortified. This guy bought me flowers on my birthday and has been dating me pretty much without many fault. I'm totally disgusted. Sickened. He also didn't contact me today. He's gotta know. Link to comment
Cherry1010 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 My birthday was last week and he got me flowers and took me out for dessert. I felt like I wanted to return it. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 >>We hugged all night but I was uber upset inside. OK, you are not being true to yourself and your goals. So you're hugging a guy all night long who is taking calls from other women AND texting them while he's with you? He is not respecting you, and YOU are not respecting you which is even more important. Why did you let this guy into your bed after he does something like that? You just taught him you are willing to let him treat you like dirt and with disrespect AND make you part of his harem! I think you were in shock but now that you've had time to think about it you should recognize that this guy is not for you. He's made it very clear that he's not interested in being monogamous and that he is very insensitive/selfish if he thinks his behavior was OK. There are some people who are into open relationships who agree that kind of thing is OK, but they are a tiny percentage of the population, and if you don't want to be in a polyamorous type relationship, what he did was off the wall. So dust yourself off and dump him. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for/expecting exclusivity once you start having sex with a person in order to protect your health. Exclusivity isn't a commitment to marriage or even to a permanent relationship, but it does say that the person's goal is to find a partner and protect their health and emotions by spending time with someone in a way that will determine whether that person is appropriate to turn into a permanent partner/spouse. If you want marriage and family and ultimately a commitment, you don't want to date men who won't agree to be exclusive before you start having sex with them. Link to comment
Cherry1010 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 You will all be happy to know I have dumped the piece of crap. Hi -------, I found that conversation in the car the other night really quite rude. The texting and emailing, also rude. I needed time to process it as i was in shock to be honest with you. Lets leave it here. Good luck with everything. -------- Link to comment
Hoagy Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Exclusive or not, that's not playing the game. It's like going to a job interview and then phoning the boss of a rival company halfway through. If he likes this other girl then send her the bill for his birthday cake and get him out of your life. Oh, you already have. Well done Link to comment
Cherry1010 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Thanks guys Yes it's quite late at night here, but I don't really give a damn. Had to be done. Wake up to that, a--hole have got to trust gut feeling more ..... Link to comment
Stay_home Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 If that was the 8th date, make that the final one. Link to comment
Cherry1010 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 If that was the 8th date, make that the final one. I will. No going back. I am quite turned off. Also all you're helpful replies made me nearly vomit at myself. Link to comment
Unknown1607307972 Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 You will all be happy to know I have dumped the piece of crap. Hi -------, I found that conversation in the car the other night really quite rude. The texting and emailing, also rude. I needed time to process it as i was in shock to be honest with you. Lets leave it here. Good luck with everything. -------- Perfect you called him out on exactly what went wrong, but you didn't get petty and you were the bigger person. I will never understand how some guys can seem so into you and then do stuff like that, at least not all guys are the same. Link to comment
zep Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 You will all be happy to know I have dumped the piece of crap. Hi -------, I found that conversation in the car the other night really quite rude. The texting and emailing, also rude. I needed time to process it as i was in shock to be honest with you. Lets leave it here. Good luck with everything. -------- Yea!! Awesome!!!! Link to comment
Cherry1010 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Perfect you called him out on exactly what went wrong, but you didn't get petty and you were the bigger person. I will never understand how some guys can seem so into you and then do stuff like that, at least not all guys are the same. Thank you very much. I really typed it in 1minute, which clearly shows that my text and I have more class than his big toe! What errks me is that he was actually verbalising 'sorry this is really rude' while being on the phone and yet he keeps on doing it. Sick f____. Thank you very much everyone. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 yay......hopefully your posts will help others that are struggling to call it quits with a loser. Link to comment
Cherry1010 Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Happy to help others. You guys all helped me. thank you. Very grateful. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.