My father is suicidal

[Sirenia]

My mother just rang me to tell me my father is suicidal.... and talking about the will, saying he can't remember where to put it...

 

First of all I should reiterate that I don't live in the same country as either of my parents and they are both divorced and remarried. I knew that my father is depressed and has been for many months now but I had no idea it was this bad.

 

I'm living alone far from home and with no emotional support I don't even know how I'm going to cope. I mean I have some friends but I don't have the support that I'd get from family or a partner.

 

I don't know what to do and I don't know if flying home would help?

 

I'm a wreck right now.

 

Please help.

[JJ2980]

Who is supporting your dad back home? He's remarried, right? If things were that bad with one of my parents I would definitely fly over to support them for what little time I could. Is your father seeking help back home?

[Sirenia]

No, I think he went once or twice but apparently he didn't say anything so they couldn't help and he refused to go back. Yes he's remarried but the marriage isn't that great and he doesn't talk to her either. His main problem now is that he just doesn't really talk so my sister and I aren't sure how to help him.

[1st Love]

My mother just rang me to tell me my father is suicidal.... and talking about the will, saying he can't remember where to put it...

 

First of all I should reiterate that I don't live in the same country as either of my parents and they are both divorced and remarried. I knew that my father is depressed and has been for many months now but I had no idea it was this bad.

 

I'm living alone far from home and with no emotional support I don't even know how I'm going to cope. I mean I have some friends but I don't have the support that I'd get from family or a partner.

 

I don't know what to do and I don't know if flying home would help?

 

I'm a wreck right now.

 

Please help.

 

Aww it's alright, we're here for you.

The choice is yours, whether you want to see your family.

 

You're not the only one who feels alone, I feel so lonely as well, and on top of that my mum is asking me whether she should buy a house or buy land and build a house. I'm only 19, stressing about uni and not having a true friend to talk to, and living with strangers. I already have enough stress as it is

 

I think you can get a lot of emotional support here, so if you ever need support, come back here.

Do you know if there's anything that you can do personally that will stop him from being suicidal? Do you talk to your dad much?

[lostnscared]

Tell your mom to get him help make sure you let her know it's URGENT. He probably needs a 72 hour hold--a diagnosis and someone to prescribe some type of medication to him. Feeling suicidal every now and then CAN be normal(most people at some point in time feel this way) it's when people talk of it constantly and start doing things like your father is doing(preparing a will, etc) that you need to be proactive. I say this because my mom was suicidal. For two years she went through a serious bout of depression and displayed paranoid schizophrenic traits(hearing voices, being told things, etc) she talked about killing herself often. And would partake it behaviors that probably should set off a "warning" to us all(though we did try multiple interventions with her). One thing we should have done that we did not, was get her committed for a 72 hour "hold" so that she could be formally diagnosed. We did not do this. And she killed herself in November. She was doing weird things the week that she killed herself(stayed in her room all day--even when I would come over), talked in a hoarse voice, not really wanting to talk over the phone, saying she didn't know if she would be around for thanksgiving(she killed herself 5 days before thanksgiving), saying she just wanted to blow her brains out, etc. And then one day when we weren't really expecting it--she had a happy demeanor, seemed like maybe she was getting better--that night she took her life. I'm not trying to scare you, but when people talk of suicide and partake in behaviors that are abnormal it is urgent that you act immediately or get someone close to them to act immediately. It's a regret I'll always have.

[chitown9]

Sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult situation. I don't know what countries are involved, but if your father is in the USA the recommendation of a 72 hour hold is a good one. Your father would be evaluated by a psychiatric team for the 72 hours. I don't know if you are a college student in the USA, but if you are, you would be eligible for free counseling at your university. I think that it would be extremely beneficial for you to get some counseling for yourself. I also think a support group would be helpful for you. Please explore the resources available to you in your community. This is too heavy of a burden to carry by yourself. You need someone to hear you out and offer suggestions to you. Please provide more details if possible. We need to know what countries are involved. ...chi

[Sirenia]

Hi, thanks for your advice. No, I'm not in the USA and I live very far from my parents/home. That's why it's super difficult for me to go there. What's not helping is that my sister is ignoring my calls and emails and totally being a selfish ***** and uncooperative. So I'm pretty stressed to say the least.