Appreciation

[Maverick44]

I'm working to to get over my ex. It's been a rough few weeks with this week being a bit easier as we've had closure. She is moving on and dating someone else. We're still friends on FB but I have hidden her profile and work to not check it (2 days now). While she says she loves me still, this is the path for her heart.

 

When I woke up this morning - finally getting great sleep the last 2 nights - I was thinking on her. I told my mind to stop. To get over her, I have to stop and move on and be the man I'm intended to be. That said, I did remember today is Valentine's Day. I was thinking of putting up a post on FB about telling everyone to have a Happy Valentine's Day, etc.

 

So, when I came to figure I was going to do that, I then started reminiscing and thinking..."Boy...it'd be nice to celebrate Valentine's Day with someone" and right there is where it hit me. Again, just as in my recent thread, my ex is not perfect but the positives outweighed the negatives. That said, what hit me is this: taking someone for granted and appreciation.

 

Relationships are a tough balance sometimes. I did pay alot of attention to my ex and loved her very much. However, because of my work hours, outside activities, son, etc.., she sometimes thought I took her for granted and did not appreciate her. While I thought I was, there were times I likely did not appreciate her or take her for granted. That was her perception. Given that she has low self-esteem and insecurity, could I have ever filled the void completely? Likely not, but I could have done more.

 

Our partner's perception does count for alot and what I will say is this - I could have done more. Make sure you look through their eyes as well and see how you can make them feel appreciated and not taken for granted.

 

While I don't think I did terrible, I will say this Valentine's Day and recent relationship has given me a different perspective on what and how to appreciate as I move forward in my life. Don't just do things and say I did this for "you or us" but make sure you're doing things to show them you appreciate them and don't take them for granted. There's a difference. Hopefully, they will see it and WE should see it and keep eyes out for it when they do it for us.

 

It's a little funny because I thought my lessons were learned from this relationship ending already......but they do keep coming.

 

Maverick

[dion333]

Relationships and friendships are a balancing act. Sound like it was a mis match of communications. Maybe you were not that tuned in to her sensitivity until it was too late. I'm sure you've learnt a lot. It is heart getting over someone and Valentines Day doesn't help. You sound like you're handling it nobly now though.

[quirky]

I agree with you. In our modern society things move so fast and we are always presented with a better option. So many people think there is a better job, car, dress, friend, partner, house out there than the one they have. I believe this to be a huge problem in our society and the individual's expectations of themselves and others. We forget what we have, how what we have serves us..we are easily disatisfied and dismissive. We dispose things quickly. When in reality the things that matter are right there and usually with easy access like friends, family, partner, nature and our hobbies.

[Maverick44]

I agree with you. In our modern society things move so fast and we are always presented with a better option. So many people think there is a better job, car, dress, friend, partner, house out there than the one they have. I believe this to be a huge problem in our society and the individual's expectations of themselves and others. We forget what we have, how what we have serves us..we are easily disatisfied and dismissive. We dispose things quickly. When in reality the things that matter are right there and usually with easy access like friends, family, partner, nature and our hobbies.

 

Right. That's true. Just try to appreciate what you have. Not just from your eyes but through the others........